


Softly from the Sky

by altos



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, I don't want to spoil anything in the tags??? So???, Keith is an aspiring musician, Lance is the Ocean basically, Langst, Like lots and lots of Langst, M/M, Multi, Slow Build, Slow Burn, deaf! shiro, i should add that tag at some point, im really bad at tags im sorry, kjsnkjds, klance, mlm author, there will be tears, when will the plot thicken
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-18
Updated: 2016-12-11
Packaged: 2018-08-23 04:07:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 45,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8313424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/altos/pseuds/altos
Summary: Keith is an aspiring musician working at a Music Store. One day, it starts raining.





	1. Downpour

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Voltron fic, so I hope it's good!

It was raining.

 

No, not in a soft “dance in the rain” kind of way. No, it was really storming, thunder and all. And who just so happened to be locked out of his dorm at 3 AM? Keith. And he was thoroughly soaked and completely _pissed._

 

“Fucking...old ass lock.” He jiggled the handle again before kicking at the door in frustration. It’s not like it was his fault that he didn’t have his keys. It’s not like he left them on the chair exactly adjacent to him when he was revising in the library earlier that day. Except, that it was.

 

“What a day for Pidge to be at her brother’s…” He muttered almost absent-mindedly to himself as he tried to stay under the awning. His dorm was in a rather unfortunate location and it had been a nuisance from day one. Not only was it on the outside area of the complex, it was directly below the dorm where most of the fraternity parties were hosted. It was absolute hell for someone trying to sleep. As sound a sleeper as he could be, Keith was somehow unable to block out the boisterous activity that occurred almost weekly, in the upstairs apartment. Along with that, and the copious amounts of beer cans he found littered on the stairwells each morning, he was about fed up with his current living arrangements.

The sound of a thunderclap vaguely jogged him from his brooding thoughts long enough to remember that Pidge had a spare key hidden somewhere. He had always doubted Pidge’s careful preparation of every situation (“ _Keith, it’s always valuable to be prepared!”_ ) but in his earnesty, he was just glad for the sudden turn of luck. The rain had seeped through his hoodie at this point and he was starting to feel the affects of the autumn’s cold.  

Digging through his pockets one last time, because it’s not like he had triple checked them, he sighed and eventually got down to it. Where would a Pidge hide a spare key.

Not under the doormat, as he had hoped. Not under the potted plant that sat beside said doormat, and not anywhere else he had thought to look. Keith realized quickly that he would have to call Pidge.

 

Three voicemails later and he knew she wasn’t going to pick up. “This is just _fucking_ great.” He hissed to himself, busying his fingers with the keyboard of his phone. Droplets were still finding their way to his screen even after his repeated attempts to stay clear of the rain. The awning could only cover so much, after all. Not only was it getting colder, but the rain was getting harder and he was sure that if he didn’t get inside soon, he would most definitely freeze.

But he wouldn’t be able to retrieve his keys until about 7. It was 3 AM, after all. At this point, it was nearing 4 o’clock. Keith shoved his phone roughly back into his pocket and tightened the strings of his hoodie- He was going to have to wait it out.

 

Walks in the rain weren’t much Keith’s style, but he couldn’t exactly say that it was the worst experience. The storm was lifting now and the drops fell in a soft, uneven pattern. The wind had died to a cool whisper and the clouds were glowing with sunlight yet to be revealed. It was calming. Calming in the way he had read in countless books. Calming in the words of a million different literary descriptions and poetic anthologies. It was a _good_ kind of calm.

He had noticed long ago that the sun was beginning to rise, and checked his phone. **_6:41 AM_ ** . The campus library usually opened around 7. He breathed out a muscle relaxing sigh and once again stuffed the phone into his pants pocket. He had no classes scheduled for today so as soon as he retrieved his keys he would be able to go back to the dorm and _sleep._ Perhaps take a shower first, but that was at the back of his mind. He was dead tired and his clothes were far from dry. He was cold in a way that seeped down to his bones, but that feeling had left him a while ago, replaced by a numbness he had not previously thought possible. His breath was coming out in wisps of smoke-like vapor and he was almost certain his face showed exactly how his evening had went.

He found that his feet had taken him back in the direction of the college campus and he sped up his pace. He knew his keys would be exactly where he had left them and he wanted to make sure it stayed that way. He didn’t trust any of the students, with the exception of Pidge, at the school and always made himself scarce around crowded areas. That meant he prefered to study at night. The library closed at midnight each evening and he would usually go in around 10 or 11, when most students had already left. Following his arrival, Keith would go to his designated study area (a table in the east wing of the library) and immerse himself in his work. Generally, he would indulge himself in his favorite subjects - Bio, Geography, Astronomy - But eventually he would end up getting down to the real studying and slave over his Statistics textbook. It wasn’t that he was bad at mathematics, it was that he didn’t generally enjoy it. He was good, very good actually, in all areas of the subject. In grade school, he had even joined the Math Club.

 

Approaching the double doors of the library entrance, he let out a breath of relief at the sight of activity on the inside. The door was already unlocked so he stepped in. The warmth of the heaters hit him in a flash and he shivered involuntarily. Taking a moment to let the heat seep in, he made his way past the front desk. The librarian smiled at him, having become used to his odd routines and quiet demeanor. Her smile turned into slightly amused confusion, however, when she noticed just how soaked he was. She didn’t say anything about it though, so he continued past her.

Stopping at his usual table, rimmed with hardwood with soft cushioned seats, he pulled out the chair that revealed to have held his keys. He smiled in relief and scooped them up quickly, squeezing them in the palm of his hand as if to make sure they were real. He shoved them into his hoodie pocket, where he could keep a firm hold on them on his way back to the dorm. On his way out, the librarian chuckled softly.

 

Keith was what many would call ecstatic as he closed his door and fell back onto the couch. The worn material of it was a welcome feeling to him now as he was way too relieved and _way_ too exhausted to really care. He rolled over and let one arm dangle off the side. He could sleep now, if he wanted. That _had_ been his original intent, but now he didn’t really want to. He slowly lifted himself into a sitting position and leaned his back against the frame of the couch. He blinked a few times and rubbed at the lines under his eyes, his lids were droopy. But he somehow didn’t want to sleep. Not yet, anyways. There was something that was urging him to stay awake. FInally, he stood to his feet and stretched slightly, pulling off his hoodie and setting his keys on the stand beside the couch. He eyed them almost warily for a moment before turning towards the window that occupied the far wall. He stepped towards it and opened the blinds. The sky was still eerily dark grey and he could see how sunlight poured through in strips through the cracks in the clouds. Keith’s brows furrowed. Had it been this bad yesterday? He couldn’t quite remember, as he had stayed inside for the duration of most of the day and had only left the comfort of the indoors for classes. Oh, and to study at the library, which he still very much regretted.Shrugging, (although it was meaningless, he was alone) Keith unlatched the window and slid it open. He was instantly hit by a breeze of cold stormy winds. The soft water spray fell on his face and the humidity made his hair poof slightly, but he didn’t really care. His eyes were once again trained on the sky. It was as if something, _something,_ was drawing him to the vast and mysterious grey. He didn’t really know what it was, maybe it was just his imagination. He huffed in slight agitation. His cheeks were red from being buffeted by the wind and he was shivering slightly. He let one hand rest on the sill, pushing himself up slightly and reached the other hand out the window. He had removed the screens earlier in the year (“ _Pidge, It’s 100 degrees outside, I am not dealing with screens. They block the breeze!_ ”) and so he was free to lean out over the edge. The dorm was located on the second floor, allowing him to feel a good extent of the stormy winds. His hand twitched slightly as raindrops fell onto the palm, causing little cool spikes as they seemed to melt into his skin. It felt _refreshing_ . He let his eyes flutter shut and just thought about the way everything felt. He thought about the way everything sounded- the echoes of cars in the distance, the soft _tap tap_ of rain hitting windowpanes, the _fwip_ of a tarp being beaten against an old rusty motorcycle. He thought about the way everything smelled- the earthy smell of the rain, the faint scent of barbeque from the dorm below his, the smell of an ocean breeze, hints of sea-battered rocks. His brows knitted together in confusion, but his eyes stayed shut. The ocean? Why would it smell like the oc-

 

“Well, well, well, Mr.Calls me 500 times while my battery’s dead.”

 

Keith nearly fell out the window as he jumped, stumbling back,”Pidge! What the hell?!” His voice cracked slightly. Only _slightly_ , he would later defened.

She cooed and tsked him,”Man oh man, you’re one weirdo aren’t ya.” Her smile was good-natured despite her words,”You didn’t even lock the damn door. We could have been robbed. _Robbed!_ ” Having spent the last few hours in the freezing rain because of said lock, Keith was not about to apologize. Instead he changed the subject,”How was Matt’s? I thought you said you wouldn’t be back until tomorrow.” She seemed to stiffen at the words but then shrugged and set her stuff to the side, walking towards the small kitchen that was in full view of the living room.

“He’s just busy, ya know?” She replied while opening the fridge door and leaning in to inspect it’s contents. Keith knew all too well what she meant,”He still have that military job?” Pidge dug through some items in the side-door, obviously biding her time. After closing the door and popping the tab on a Fanta, she stood in the kitchen looking slightly thoughtful,”Yeah.” Keith took her answer as a signal to stop talking about it and turned towards the television set. It was a really nice model flat-screen that Pidge had bought with prize money from a contest. He reached for the remote and gestured towards her with it,”Wanna kick back? I don’t have classes.” She nodded, relieved that the conversation had taken a lighter note,”Yeah, let’s play some Mario Kart.”

“Oh no.”

“What’s wrong? Ya scared, Kid?” She taunted, bearing a shit-eating grin.

He pinched the bridge of his nose,”First of all, never call me kid again. You’re like, _twelve_.”

Her expression soured. “And second, no, I’m not.”

“Oh really?”

“Yes.”

“Uh-huh, okay.” She sat down beside him, setting her soda on the coffee table,”No Mario Kart.”

“Thank you.”

They both chuckled lightly before Keith turned on the T.V. and set it on the History Channel. It was playing some documentary on the Loch Ness Monster, which normally he would be _all over_ , but he was far from focused. In fact, he was actually very distracted. His eyes found their way back to the still open window.

 

“Keith?” He blinked and turned towards Pidge.

“Hm?”

“Are you doin’ okay?” She seemed genuinely worried.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

Her eyes searched his a little longer, slightly narrowed, before she turned back to the television,”You have work tomorrow.”

“Fuck!” He had forgot. He hated that hell-hole of a music store.

“Um, _language_.”

“Ugh, whatever.” He turned his head towards the window again.  
“You... _sure_ , you’re okay?”

Thunder sounded in the distance.

“Yeah, I’m okay.”

  
  
  
  
  
Calling the music store a hell-hole had been an understatement. It was the very embodiment of eternal suffering. The hours were long, the pay bad, and the employee accommodations were few. Keith worked the front desk. It wasn’t because he wasn’t good at what he did, it was _because_ he was good at what he did. The music store happened to be a very large, very profitable business called _Voltron_ that not only held all the products of smaller music stores, but had a vast amount of Sections. Keith had started off working in the Guitars and Basses Section of the store, gradually working his way up. He had been in charge of almost all of the Sections at some point or another in his time working at _Voltron_ . The only Section he had never worked in would be the Woodwinds Section. He just did not care for Woodwinds in any shape or form. You had to _blow_ through a weird _hole_ and it made sound?? Okay, maybe he was a little biased, but he still had never shown interest in them whatsoever. His preference was with the stringed instruments. Pianos, Guitars, Basses, Violins, Cellos, and Violas. He was, to put it lightly, in love with the instruments and the _sound_ they could create. Oh God, could they create the most _beautiful sound_ . Guitars, with their rough edges that could also turn into lyrical melodies. Cellos with their fluidity and calm lullabies. Pianos, with keys that displayed every emotion imaginable. Violins and Violas, that harmonized with grace and left you _stunned_ . Okay, so maybe he was just a _little_ biased.

 

Despite his obvious love for music, he was _not_ in love with how little he was getting payed to put up with what he did.

“Sir, you can’t return this.”

“It sounds awful! I want a refund!” The angry man shoved the amp in Keith’s direction. The man was about as big as the amp, which only reached about Keith’s belly-button. The customer had stepped into the shop, dragging the little amp along. Keith wondered how he was able to carry it at all.

“Sir, it’s damaged. You can’t return it if it’s da-”

“That’s how I bought it!” He screeched in what Keith could only assume was a voice rough from years of smoking.

“Sir.” Keith said again, his voice monotone as usual,”I assure you, it was in no such condition at the time of the sale. Now, if you could just show me your re-”

“How dare you! I know how it looked when I bought it!”

“If you knew it was damaged, why did you buy it?”

The man seemed to boil over,”I _demand_ a refund!”

“Mhm, okay.” Keith was losing his patience with the man. He was obviously in his mid-fifties. He was wearing formal clothing, making Keith wonder exactly what such a man needed an amp for, but he kept those thoughts to himself. He leaned over the register, resting his chin on the top,”Receipt?”

“What?” The man spat out in his smoker’s cough voice.

“Do you have the _receipt_.”

The old smoker seemed to think for a moment before sputtering,”No-”

“Get out.”

“What?” The customer snapped back in mild surprise.

Keith stood up straight and crossed his arms, walking out from behind the service desk. He gestured to the entrance,”No receipt, no service. _Get out_.”

“You can’t ju-”

“Yes, I can. And I am. Get out and take your _fully-functioning_ amp with you.” He then turned away from the man and walked back behind the service desk, pretending to busy himself with a magazine. It only took a few moments of angry sputtering for the man to finally leave. Keith groaned and ran a hand through his hair,”I really do _not_ get paid enough…”

 

“Keith!”

Said boy had been playing with the jar of g clef pins that sat on the front desk, labeled “ _2 for 25 cents_ ”. He raised his head,”What is it?” His voice was softer than the one calling him, but somehow less lyrical.

The owner of the voice stepped out from one of the back rooms. Her eyebrows were raised high on her head, contrasting beautifully with her sepia skin. She bore two crescent moon tattoos on both cheekbones. Overall, she was astoundingly magnificent.

“Darling, I was calling you for 10 minutes straight, where is your head today?” Her voice held a sisterly concern and she closed the distance between them, resting her elbows on the service desk,”You alright?”

He shrugged, turning one of the pins between his thumb and forefinger,”I’m fine, Allura.”

“Mhm, of course you are. Are you sick?” Her hand came up to feel his forehead but he retracted from her touch,”Keith, you have to talk to me. Your performance today has been awful.” Keith looked up at her,”Is this about that guy earlier? Because if it is-”

“Keith, you’re usually able to keep your cool in those kinds of situations-”

“He was a total jackass! Like, he wasn’t even trying to hide it! I can’t belie-”

“Your duty as an employee here means treating the customer with respec-”

“But what if they don-”

“And greeting each one with a smi-”

“I hate smil-”

“Keith-”

“Dealing with jer-”

“ _Keith.”_

“I just do my job an-”

“ **_KEITH._ ** ”

His head snapped up to find Allura’s expression was extremely displeased,”I am your boss and you will do as I say or you can find a different place of employment.” She said sternly. He met her gaze with an angry glare. Her composure crumbled and she sighed, the softness in her eyes returning,”I just hope you’re alright. I care about you.” He nodded.

 

“Thanks, Allura. I’m okay.”

 

He had promised to behave for the remainder of the workday, due to Allura’s irresistible pleading gaze ( _“Thank you, Keith! You’ll do just fine!”)_ and the fact that he was too tired to be snappy anyways. The rest of the day was going by smoothly enough, he eventually reasoned with himself. The atmosphere inside the store was calm, but he somehow knew it was different beyond the entrance doors. The storm from the other night had yet to pass over and he swore it was only getting worse. He decided to distract himself from the luring thoughts of the sky. Busying himself with “work”, he began to rearrange a shelf of CDs and old timey records. No one ever bought them anymore, it was the age of technology after all, but they were still priceless masterpieces. He chose to put them in order by genre this time, going through all the rock albums and then pop, blues, country (Oh God, he hated country) and then at the end he put the metal albums. He was sliding in the last CD case, some band name he couldn’t quite recognize, when he heard what he thought were approaching footsteps,”Allura, there aren’t even any custo-”

“What’re ya doing?”

Keith never reacted so quickly in his life, flinching back about 50 feet and effectively hitting his head against the shelf. About 20 CDs fell off, hitting him in the head. He groaned.

“Woah, haha, Dude, you okay?”

A soft voice prompted him to look up, blinking slightly. His eyes widened. Woah, this guy was...Keith didn’t know a word to describe it. He had sandy hair, dark and untamable. His skin was like carnelian and his eyes...Oh God, _his eyes_. He was drawn to them. Drawn to them like he had been drawn to the sky the past few days. His eyes were the most exotic, most alluring, most incandescent thing he had ever seen. Brilliant ocean waves and rolling storm clouds. He could not bear to claim them as simply “blue”. They were so much more.

“Dude?”

Keith sucked in a breath, he hadn’t remembered to breathe all that time,”Wh-what?”

“You okay? You’re actin’ all weird.” Keith huffed and ran a hand through his bangs,”Yes.” He snapped, getting up from the floor. The guy backed up slightly to give him the room to stand up. Keith dusted off his shirt and began picking up the CDs,”Is there something I can help you with?” He found himself using his customer voice despite his initial reaction to seeing the stranger. When there was silence, Keith huffed and turned back around,”Sir?” He still held two CDs in one hand, using the other to rest on his hip, a pose that had imprinted on him from countless hours with Allura.

The customer looked lost. His eyes kept flickering down to the CDs in Keith’s hands. Finally he stepped slightly closer and pointed at them,”What are those?”

Keith almost had an aneurysm. He held up the CDs next to his face, one eyebrow raised,”You mean a CD?”

The words apparently held no meaning to the customer as he simply blinked and nodded,”Uhh...is that what they’re called?”

Keith was surprisingly not losing his temper. The guy seemed genuinely curious and he felt as if getting angry was the wrong reaction to have against him. However, that didn’t stop him from letting out a slightly exasperated sigh,”Uh, yeah? Have you never owned a CD, Dude?”

The guy shook his head.

“Um...Would you like me to show you how it works?” That seemed to be the golden question because the guy’s eyes lit up like a lighthouse at the bay. Keith tried to ignore the adrenaline rush it gave him.

“Alright, hold on…” He turned back to the shelf and ran his finger along the labels, humming. He let out a pleased sound when he came across the one he wanted. It was a classic rock album, one of his favorites, actually. Grabbing it, and setting the other two to the side, he gestured for the guy to follow him. He went back to the service desk and pulled out what looked like an old Radio CD Player. He pushed down on the circle-like lid at the top and it popped open. Careful not to scratch the CD, he retrieved it from it’s case and placed it inside the disk-holder. He shut the lid and set it on **_Track 09._ **

Music blared across the room, rough, but beautiful. It had an amazing beat and the lyrics were refined. Keith liked this song. It looked like the customer absolutely _adored_ it though. “What _is_ this?”

“Um, rock music?”

“There is music named after rocks?”

Keith didn’t know wether to laugh or cry at the amount of innocence in the customer’s oceanic eyes. “Uh, well, not exactly.” He said instead.

“I see.” The guy smiled, a far off look on his face. It didn’t last long enough to notice however, as he turned excitedly towards Keith again,”Can I have one?”

“A CD?”

“Yeah, one of those.”

“Well, you got money?” Keith quirked an eyebrow.

The customer looked down slightly,”Oh, I forgot…” He muttered to himself, before lifting his head again,”Not at the moment. I’ll get one of those ceedees some other time.”

Now, Keith wasn’t one to be generous to customers, but the look of unadulterated disappointment on his face was absolutely _heart-wrenching._

“Here.” He returned the CD to its case and handed it to him.

The guy seemed mildly confused to say the least,”Um-”

“You can have it.” Keith gestured for him to take the case.

The customer’s eyes flickered between Keith and the CD before finally resting on the CD. He tentatively reached out to grasp the case and smiled,”Thanks, Man.” Keith let him take it and shrugged, putting the Radio away,”S’no problem. Nobody buys them anyway.” The customer smiled and put the case in his jacket pocket. His eyes wandered over to the the different parts of the store, where they landed on a Section that was visible from the main room,”Woah, what are _those_?” Keith looked up from setting the Radio on a shelf and let his eyes follow the direction of the customer’s,”That’s the Guitars and Basses Section.” The customer smiled,”What do they sound like? Do they sound like a ceedee?” Keith snorted,”Not exactly. A CD plays songs, usually with multiple instruments.” He walked over to the entrance of the Guitars and Basses Section, where an acoustic was displayed on the wall.

“Can you show me?”

“Huh?”

“Can you show me how it sounds?” The customer came up to stand next to him, his face sincere.

“Um…” Keith turned back to the guitar. It had been so long since he last played, he didn’t know if he could break that streak. He hadn’t touched a guitar since…

“No.” He turned away, walking back towards the service desk.

“Why not?” The customer’s voice was whiny, resembling that of a bratty child.

“Because.” Keith snapped.

“But you showed me the ceedee, why can’t you show me this one?”

“I don’t want to.” Keith said flatly as he returned to his station with the g clef pins and the register. He just wanted the guy to leave at this point.

“Sorry, I just thought-”

“Ugh, just drop it, will you?” Keith snapped angrily. The situation had taken a very wrong turn. The customer’s eyes went slightly wide before returning to their natural calm,”I-”

“Just get out.” Keith groaned.

“Bu-”

“ _Out_.” He’s been saying that a lot lately, but it was better than having to deal with this guy. He just wanted to be alone with his resurfaced memories.

“Okay.” The customer said, enunciating each syllable. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and turned to leave. Keith followed him with his eyes.

 

The sky was calm for the first time.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
“Okay, so help me out here. The square root of 1200 is _what_?”

“34.6410161514.”

“...”

“What?”

“That’s it. You’re not human. You’re _not_. There is no possible way you did that in your head.”

 

Keith rolled his eyes and continued to read his Astronomy textbook,”It’s really not that hard.”

“Uh-huh, Okay. Sure. I mean, _I’m_ the prodigy kid here, I should be the one calculating outrageous numbers in my head, but I’m telling you that is just not normal.”

“Thanks Pidge, love you too.”

“I mean, I never said it was a _bad_ not normal.”

“Is there ever a good kind.”

“I like to think so.” She smiled slightly, typing away at her laptop.

The two had cozied themselves up on their couch to study for final exams. Keith was lying his back, his feet propped up on the couch cushion. Pidge was sitting cross-legged on the far end of the couch, surrounded by a cocoon of blankets.

“I like to think so, too.” Keith replied, his thoughts going back to that odd customer from a few days ago. For some reason he couldn’t stop thinking about the interaction. When the customer had left, the sky had been clear. Clearer than he’d ever remember seeing it. The sun was shining and there wasn’t a cloud in sight. It couldn’t have just been coincidence...could it? He huffed. He was overthinking things. It was just a weird day.

“Hey, Keith, I think that’s enough studying for today. I’m gonna go see what Hunk’s up to. Wanna come?” She closed her laptop and hopped up off the couch. Keith smiled and shook his head,”No thanks, I’ll be here.”

“Alright. See ya tonight!”

 

As soon as Pidge left, Keith got up and assumed a sitting position. He ruffled his hair slightly and turned towards the window. It was closed and latched, but the blinds were open to let in the sun. He stood and stretched slightly, deciding it was better to ignore the call of the sky and to distract himself. He had told Pidge he was gonna stay home but decided he’d be back before her anyways. He pulled on his hoodie, grabbed his Astronomy textbook and keys.

 

He was walking around campus now, carrying the textbook at his hip. His phone was out and he barely paid any attention to where he was going, causing him to collide with something moments later. His phone slipped from his grasp and collided with the concrete. Keith hissed and bent to pick it up,” _Thanks, Man_.” He said through gritted teeth.

 

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going.”

 

“It’s fi-” Keith straightened back up, only to catch the guy’s gaze,”What the _fuck_ are you doing here?”

The guy narrowed his oceanic eyes slightly before recognition seemed to bloom on his face,”Oh hey! You’re the guy from that music store!” Either he hadn’t paid any nevermind to Keith’s outburst or he just didn’t care, but he seemed genuinely happy to see the music store employee again.

“Yeah, whatever.” Keith checked over his phone. The screen was cracked but he simply let out a tired sigh and shoved it into his hoodie pocket,”You go to college here?”

“Garrison Univ? Yeah, I’m starting the next semester!”

Keith grunted in acknowledgement.

“So, I never got your name?”

Keith gave him a cool look,”Keith.” He started walking again. The guy kept pace with him,”Nice to officially meet ya, Keef. I’m-”

“ _Keith._ And I don’t care.” He pulled his hood up, blocking his view of the guy.

“Okay then.”

 

“So Keef, what are you majoring in?”

Keith ground his teeth together but decided that his frustration was pointless, this guy wasn’t going to leave anytime soon,”Astronomy...and...I’m minoring in Biology.”

“Those are some very different subjects. Why those?”

“I like them.”

“Ah, well, I can see that.” Keith could tell he was referring the textbook at his side.

“I like science.”

“Me too!”

Keith stopped then, turning to the guy with a slightly curious look,” _Really?_ ”

“Mhm! I’m actually, funny now that I mention it, choosing Bio as my major.”

“Oh.” Keith blinked,”Cool.”

“Yeah, it is.”

 

They walked in silence for a few moments until Keith spoke up, his curiosity getting the better of him,”Why Bio?”

“Hm?”

“Why are you majoring in Bio?”

“Oh! Well, actually...Marine Biology to be specific.” He looked up at the sky with a soft gaze,”I love the Ocean...It’s vast and beautiful...but…” His eyes held pain. It was as if a storm was raging inside his irises, and Keith swore he could smell sea-salt. “Well, the Ocean is dying...And I want to help. I want to do something about it...I want to make people…” He turned to Keith, tugging at him with his eyes. His expression was one of pure devastation. “I want to make people _listen._ ”

 

Keith stared back, unable to move and unable to speak. Once again, it was his _eyes_ . His eyes were azul, waves of grey were in turmoil with aquamarine. His eyes were... _enchanting_. Keith found himself wondering why he had been such an utter asshole to this guy who was talking about his goals with such passion. The passion was held in the waiver of his voice, and also in the storm of his eyes. Keith was transfixed.

“I’m listening…” Keith found himself replying softly, before he could stop himself. Before he could reason with himself.

“W-what?”

“I.” Keith gulped, blinking a few times and turning back to the sidewalk. He continued walking,”I said I’m listening. And...that’s a start, ya know?”

The guy jogged up to him and chuckled, keeping pace once again,”Yeah, it is.”

 

They had resumed their silence, but this time it was comfortable. Keith decided that perhaps he enjoyed it. He pulled out his phone as he noticed the sun getting lower and swiped his thumb across the cracked screen.

“Ah, I can pay for that.”

“Hm?”

“Your screen. I caused it to break.”

“Oh.” Keith looked back at his phone. **_7:56 PM_ ** _._ He was gonna be late. “Naw, Man. It’s okay.”

“You sure, ‘cause I’ll be happy to…”

“Yeah. It’s alright.” Keith tried offering him a smile, something he’d never done to the brunette. He was pleasantly surprised by the happy reaction he received.

“I gotta go back to my dorm now, my roommate is probably wondering where I am.”

“Ah, okay. Well, see ya around, Keith.” He smiled shyly, saying his name correctly. Keith nodded and started to turn away and walk back in the direction he came when he remembered something,“Um…” Keith looked to the side,”I sort of cut you off earlier and...I never caught your name.”

The guy had started jogging in the other direction, but stopped and turned slightly. His eyes were bright as he called,”The name’s Lance!”

Keith nodded,”Okay. Lance.”

  
  
  
  


“ “ _No it’s fine, I’ll be here_.” If you had other plans you could have just said so, Keith.” Pidge was being grumbly as they ate dinner. Pidge said Hunk had cooked it.

“I didn’t. I went for a walk and lost track of time. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever. Meet any cute girls?” She smirked.

Keith grimaced.

“Not for you, idiot. For _me_.” She chided.

“No.”

“You’re a terrible wingman, ya know.”

“Thanks Pidge, love ya too.”

“That line is getting old real quick.” She pointed her fork at him. He simply continued to stuff his face.

“So, meet any cute _boys_ ,then?”

His silence answered her question.

“Ahaha! Spill the beans.” She gestured at him with her fork once again, not taking no for an answer.

“I didn’t even say anything.”

“Exactly! Now, tell me, who was it? A macho man? A cute freshman? Who?”

“Umm.” Keith raised an eyebrow slightly,”A regular college dude?” He offered.

Pidge huffed,” _Bor-ing_.” Keith shrugged slightly.

“So, what’s he like? What’s his name? Want me to do a detailed background check because I can-”

“Pidge.” Keith gave her a look,”You’re getting ahead of yourself here.”

“Well, it’s not everyday Keith meets a _cute boy_.”

“I never said he was cute.”

“Oh, but you were thinking it.”

“He’s not cute.” Keith finally groaned, running his hand over his face with exasperation,”He’s...He’s ethereal.”

Pidge’s grin widened,”Oh, is he now?”

Keith caught himself all too late and winced,”No, I mean...ugh, yeah okay. He’s fucking majestic, Pidge. “ Keith looked down and poked at his food with the fork,”He’s...He’s strange. But somehow...alluring?”

“Did he catch you with one of those Pokemon Go pick-up lines?”

“What? No, Pidge, I’m being serious.” Keith’s brows furrowed slightly.

Pidge took the hint and set down her fork, scooting closer to him. She folded her hands together,”So, then. What’s he like?”

“He’s an idiot.” Keith mumbled, shoveling more food down his throat.

“I’m gonna need more than that. C’mon, gimme something to work with.”

“Well, he’s majoring in Marine Biology.”

“Oooo, A science boy. Just your type. No wonder he caught your eye.”

“Ugh, it’s not even like that, Pidge.”

“Sure. Go on.”

“Um…” Keith thought for a moment,”He didn’t know what a CD was?”

“Really?”

“Yeah. It was weird.”

“Hmm.” Pidge seemed to think for a moment,”Maybe he’s from out of the country, who knows.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s true.” Keith bit the inside of his cheek, staring at his now empty plate a little longer.

“Just talk to him.”

 


	2. Cloudy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for such a good response on this fic! I'll try to update regularly.

“Just talk to him…” Keith recited to himself the next day on his way to Geography,”Yeah okay, Pidge.” He pulled his scarf up against his chin. Autumn was really upon them now. The air was crisp, chilly and clear. The ground was littered with color. Leaves of all shapes and sizes covered the sidewalk; it was impossible to avoid stepping on them. He walked past the campus library and into the Science Hall, heading for his class. 

 

When his class was over, he walked out, stuffing the textbook and laptop into his waist bag. He failed to notice the approaching footsteps. 

“Hey, Keef!” 

Keith blinked, his eyebrows pinched tightly together as he turned,”Wh-Oh hey.” He relaxed slightly as he realized who it was. 

Lance gave a soft laugh and stuffed his hands into his pockets. He blew out air gently through his nose and watched how it steamed in front of him,”It’s getting cold.” He mused, his eyes showing a hint of worry. Keith didn’t seem to notice it and straightened out his bag mindlessly,”Yeah. It’s been getting colder each year. We’re just about ready for  La Niña season.” 

Lance stiffened at the name,”Is it really getting that bad?” His voice held a subtle hint of fear to it. 

“Yeah but it’s just weather, ya know. It’s not that bad.” Keith blinked, trying to understand what Lance was so worried about. 

“Yeah haha...It’s just the weather.” Lance looked to the side for a moment before his happy-go-lucky expression returned,”Hey, mind if we walk for a bit?” 

 

They took their time going down the street adjacent to the Dorms Building, heading towards a caf é. It was famous for it’s freshly brewed coffee and exotic teas and it served an amazing assortment of exotic pastries. Keith was a big fan, to say the least. 

The bell jingled as they walked in, greeted by the jolly owner of the coffee house. 

“‘Ello, Boys! Welcome to Altea’s Teas and Brews!” Upon noticing Keith, he smiled broadly,”Ah, Keith! Glad to see you again!” His voice was loud and filled the entire shop, but it was warm and vibrant. Keith smiled at the man,”Hi again, Coran.” Lance smiled in acknowledgement, but didn’t say anything. 

“So what’ll it be, Boys? A cranberry muffin with walnut drizzle? Perhaps one of the teas, a peach or a raspberry? Oh! Or maybe a mint chai latté-” 

“Coran.” Keith said with an amused look,”We’ll decide in a few minutes.” 

Coran nodded enthusiastically,”Of course, of course. Please help the young man accompanying you to figure out the menu, he seems to be a new face here.” 

“Yes he is. I decided to bring him here. Your café is top quality, after all.” Keith praised the man. Coran pinched the edge of his ginger mustache,”You flatter me.” 

 

“So, anything look interesting to you?” Keith rested his cheek against an open palm, feigning boredom. 

Lance was skimming over a laminated menu, making a variety of animated expressions,”Does everything here have such a weird name? Like,  _ Double Berry  _ _ Crème Fraîche _ ? What does that even mean?!” 

Keith raised his eyebrows lazily,”It’s French.” 

“Do I look like I speak French.” 

“Not exactly.” 

“See what I mean?” Lance gestured vaguely,”Just...you pick something for me.” He slid the menu over to Keith’s side of the table. Keith looked down at it before setting his gaze on Lance once again,”I don’t even know what you like.” 

“Um, probably not a  _ Crème Fraîche _ .” He mused,”Just don’t get me anything with a weird name.” 

Keith nodded and picked up the menu,”How about a Hot Chocolate? Or is that too fancy for you?” 

“No, it’s fine.” Lance huffed, then smirked slightly. Keith returned the look. 

 

“So.” Lance broke the silence once they both had their drinks in hand. Keith had ended up ordering a chai latt é, saying it was his usual. “What’s new in the world of Keef?” Lance rested his chin atop the back of his folded hands. Keith grumbled slightly, stirring his drink absently,”Not much. Nothing’s ever new.” He turned to look out the window,”Nothing ever changes.” Keith let his eyes wander to the skyline beyond the shop’s window. It was a calm sky, contrasting with the storm of a few nights ago. Despite the normality of how it appeared, Keith still found himself eerily drawn to what lay beyond the porcelain clouds and baby blue reflection. 

“What are you looking at?” 

Keith started, turning back towards Lance,”Huh...What?” 

“You were looking at something.” Lance seemed to study his face with a serious gaze,”What were you looking for?” 

Keith narrowed his eyes before relaxing,”I was watching the sky.” 

Lance seemed interested, raising his cup and letting the steam hit his face. The precipitation formed droplets on his cheeks, adding to the shimmer effect his eyes seemed to give off. A single drop made its way down the bridge of his nose before pooling and dropping off. Lance raised a sleeve to wipe at the spot. After a few moments of silence, Lance returned to his playful demeanor,”So, who’s your roommate? Or do you live at home? Or maybe you have your own apartment somewhere else?” 

Keith raised an eyebrow. ”Well, actually,” He started,”I do live at the Dormitory. My roommate is Katie Holt, but she prefers to go by Pidge.” 

“Special reason?” 

“It’s an old nickname.” Keith refrained from saying any more on the matter. 

“Yeah, I get it.” Lance smiled,”How ‘bout you? You got any cool nicknames?” He smirked, feigning interest. 

Keith scoffed and rolled his eyes, leaning back against his chair,”Um, no.” 

“I mean, I think Keef is top-notch but, that’s just me.” Lance offered, pointing his index finger. 

_ “Yeah, I guess it’s just you.” _

“Harsh.” Lance grasped at his heart, pretending to be hurt. 

“How extra.” Keith dead-panned. 

“Um, I’ll have you know? I’m a magnificent actor? Oscar-worthy, actually.” 

“Yeah, I can see that.” Keith smirked.

“I am  _ very  _ talented.” 

“Extremely.” 

Lance perked up,”Thanks.” Keith rolled his eyes, slightly amused. “I take it you never were one to understand sarcasm.” 

“Sounds like Keef is just jealous of,” Lance placed his hand upon his chest dramatically,” _ Mwah _ .” 

“Yeah, okay.” Keith sipped his latté disdainfully. Lance offered him a grin. 

“Final exams are this week.” Keith started up the conversation once again,”I’ve been studying non-stop.” 

“Are you worried you’re gonna fail or something?” 

“No.” Keith looked thoughtful for a moment,”Not really.” His voice was even and a bit tired. 

Lance nodded, tapping the table with his left hand,”The new semester starts next week. We’ll have General Bio together.” 

Keith perked up at that,”Oh yeah-” He was unable to finish the thought, as his phone rang. He apologized quickly before pulling it out and pressing “ _ accept call” _ , not bothering to check the Contact name first. 

“Hello?” 

“Hey Keith!” 

His expression turned to one of confusion as he lowered the phone to look at the screen. He then placed it near his ear again,”Matt?” 

“Yep! How’s it going?” 

“Um...Okay. Why are you calling me?”

“I can’t ask how my favorite little bro is doing?” Keith sighed exasperatedly. Matt was family-oriented and often referred to Keith in a brotherly manner. “I’m doing fine, Matt. But there must be a reason you’re calling me.” 

“Okay, you got me. “ Matt finally caved,”Your brother said he’s coming up to visit.” 

Keith blinked, startled,”What? He hasn’t visited in so long. Why is he doing this  _ now _ ?” 

“Beats me. But c’mon, I thought you’d be a little happier. It’s your  _ brother _ , Keith.” 

“Yeah, I know.” Keith snapped aggressively. The topic was still a little unsettling after all these years,”When did he say he’s arriving?” 

“In a few days. He’s coming via train. I woulda come with him, but he declined my offer. You know how he gets.” 

“Yeah...Pidge would have liked you to come, though.” 

There was silence for a few moments,”Yeah, I know...But...It’s still hard on her, ya know? It’s hard on everyone, Dad being gone…” 

“Yeah, don’t sweat it. I won’t even mention it.” 

“Thanks.” 

“I’ll talk to you later.” 

The call ended and Keith stared at his phone absently, thoughts reeling through his head. 

“So, important call or…?” 

Keith looked up, remembering Lance,”Ah, um. Yeah, somewhat.” 

“You need to do something, because I can go, it’s no problem.”

“No!” Keith found himself half-shouting,”I mean, uh, no. No, it’s fine.” He didn’t want Lance to leave. 

“Okay, cool.” 

  
  
  


Keith came home early that night, having made promises to hang out again. They had exchanged numbers ( _ “Lance, I swear if you put my Contact name as Keef I’ll strangle you.”)  _ for easy communication. It totally wasn’t because Keith had suggested it or that he hoped Lance would text him _.  _ He didn’t exactly know why, but Lance was great company and he enjoyed his presence. He always felt that awkward adrenaline rush when he looked into his eyes or when he laughed or when the light fell on his face just right. He didn’t know what it was, what was causing it, but it didn’t bother him too much. Well, actually it did bother him. It bothered him greatly, but it wasn’t in a bad way. It was almost, nice. 

Keith closed the door silently, making sure he had his keys (It had become a habit) and locking it. He removed his waist bag, tossing it onto the couch and stripped off the layered sweatshirts he had worn due to the cold weather. Lance had seemed awfully concerned with the weather? Maybe it was just Keith’s imagination. 

“Hey, you’re early.” Pidge had probably heard him from her room and came to investigate,”How’d your little  _ date _ go?” 

“How do you even know what I was doing?” Keith interjected,”And also, it wasn’t a date.” 

“You just gave yourself away, that’s how I know. So, Mr. It wasn’t a date, how was it?” 

“Um, we went to Altea and talked? Like normal people?” He questioned, raising an eyebrow skeptically. His hands were out in a “Duh” sort of gesture. Pidge wiggled her eyebrows slightly, pushing her glasses up,”Yeah, sure. Not like you’d tell me your dirty little adult secrets anyways.” 

“Pidge, you’re more disgusting than a 21 year old dude in a Sorority House.” 

“Yeah, but see, I’m cute. So I can get away with it.” 

“Unfortunately for me.” 

“Aw, don’t be like that.” She moved from the doorway towards the couch, folding her legs under her as she sat. She patted the cushion next to her,”Come. Sit. Talk to your sister.” 

Keith rolled his eyes, but decided to humor her. He sat beside her and folded his hands, resting his elbows on his knees in a somewhat relaxed position. 

“How are you doing,  _ really _ ? You’ve been acting weird all week.” 

Keith shrugged,”I guess I’m just stressed out over Final exams.” 

Pidge didn’t seem convinced but let it slide for the time being. 

“Shiro’s coming up to visit in a few days.” 

“Oh? It’s been a while.” 

“I know.” Keith grimaced. 

“How are you handling it?”

“I’ll be okay...It’s just...sudden.” He tensed, thinking about the situation at hand,”I don’t...I don’t know how to act?” 

“Well, he’s your brother. You don’t have to  _ act _ . Just be yourself and it’ll be okay.” 

“But Pidge, it’s been so  _ long.” _  Keith gave her a worried look,”And we didn’t exactly leave off on good terms.” He remembered the argument and how tense it had been. They hadn’t really talked much since then. 

“Keith, it’s Shiro. He’s probably the most understanding person you’ll meet. He’s not gonna hold a grudge against you, if he was, do you think he’d be coming down to visit?” 

“Well...no, but-” 

“Exactly. You’re worried and I understand, but you can’t avoid him forever. You’re his brother, and he needs you.” Pidge paused a moment before adding,”And you need him.” 

“I know...I  _ know _ .” Keith sighed, cursing to himself and running a hand through his bangs. He took out his phone and checked his messages. Shiro didn’t usually like to text so he would have Matt call Keith when he needed to tell him something. Keith checked for a text anyways. 

“You’ll be fine.” Pidge got up from her spot, heading back to her bedroom. She stopped to ruffle his hair and disappeared into the doorway,”By the way, you have work tomorrow morning.” 

  
“Oh yeah.” Keith pursed his lips.

 

The next morning, Keith found himself droning through his shift. Not many customers came in during the morning hours anyways, so he let himself relax. The weather on his way to work had been breezy and calm. It was pleasant and a hint of sunshine had left it’s warm touch on Keith’s shoulders. He found himself reminiscing on the weather more and more each day, but finding to reason as to why. 

“Keith!” Allura came out from the storage room. She was wearing a dark camisole, barely covered by a loose cardigan. Her ears were adorned with hoops and her hair was up in a messy bun. Somehow, no matter what she wore, she always looked stunning. 

“Yeah, Allura?” 

“Can you please tune the guitars on the display for me.” 

Keith’s heart plummeted,”Can’t you get someone else to do it.” 

“You’re the only one who works this shift, Keith.” She quirked a perfect eyebrow. 

“Well, you can get someone to do it later.” He tried to reason. 

“Keith, I realize you don’t particularly like to touch guitars,” She paused to brush a strand of hair away from her face,”but it’s part of your job.” 

“I work the front desk. I don’t work in that department anymore. All I do is ring up the customers and maybe point them in the right direction. I don’t touch the instruments.” He wrung his hands slightly,”I don’t touch the guitars.” 

“Keith,  _ please _ .” She placed her hands on the desk,”I think this will help you.” 

Keith bit his lip to keep back a sharp ‘ _ No it won’t _ ’ or ‘ _ Stop trying to help _ ’. He knew Allura had good intentions and he wondered how he hadn’t been fired yet but that didn’t change his meager disposition. 

“Yeah okay, sure, whatever.” He snapped, getting out from behind the service desk. 

Allura didn’t say anything else, but watched him with slightly disappointed eyes. 

Keith let out a shaky breath and reached for the first guitar. It was the one Lance had asked him to play. He tensed and lifted it off the wall, looping the strap over his head. His eyes stung. Simply touching the instrument was difficult for him. “Let’s get this over with.” 

He started out by strumming the strings softly, letting the sound reach his ears. It sent a shiver down his spine. His fingers still held the old callus from countless strokes on a guitar. How long had it been since he last touched one? Since he last heard his own sound? Perhaps it had been too long, for he could no longer recall exactly where to place his fingers and his strumming was sloppy. That wouldn’t last long though, he hadn’t forgotten anything. 

He skimmed his hand up the neck, stopping to linger at the frets. Finally he let his fingers grip one of the tuning keys and started to strum the guitar lightly again. He did this for every one of the strings, his thoughts barely on the task, but somehow still perfecting the sound. Once the last string was in perfect unison with the others, he strummed the guitar once again. The sound was so  _ beautiful _ , it make his heart  _ ache _ . He desperately wanted to play. He wanted to play songs, practice solos, harmonize with others. He wanted to play the guitar again. He let his fingers strum the strings again, this time with more force. The sound reverberated throughout the Section, echoing long past he had let his fingers rest. He could play it, if he wanted to. He could take up the guitar again. All he had to do was let his fingers find the chords…

His favorite song floated back to him. He set his fingers into line to play a G chord and let his hands do the rest. He closed his eyes and played a D chord...An E chord…

And with that, he was playing again. He was playing as if he had never stopped, and it felt  _ great _ . It felt like he was uncovering an old passion. An old flame was being lit and he didn’t know if he had the power to snuff it out. 

“Keith?”

His excitement ended abruptly and he missed a chord, putting the guitar slightly out of tune again as he whirled at the voice. 

Lance was standing behind him, leaning against a wall. Keith panicked slightly. He hadn’t meant for anyone to see him. He quickly stripped the guitar from his shoulders. 

“Wait Keith, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.” 

“You didn’t.” Keith grumbled, his heart pounding. What was he  _ thinking _ ? He was such an idiot. 

“Keith.” 

“It’s fine, just...it’s fine.” Keith returned the guitar to the wall display, not bothering to straighten it out. His breath was coming out in rapid puffs. 

“ _ Keith _ .” He turned towards Lance this time, narrowing his eyes slightly. 

Lance was studying him with a worried expression,”Why don’t you play anymore?” 

Keith was taken aback slightly,”What are you talking about.” 

“Keith, I’m not stupid, don’t treat me like I am.” Lance bit back. 

When Keith was silent, He continued,”Why don’t you play anymore? You didn’t want to show me how it sounded at first, and now...you stopped when you noticed I was here.” 

“I just...It’s personal. I don’t like to talk about it.” Keith looked aimlessly at the wall, his voice cracking slightly. Lance stared at him for a long time before nodding and stuffing his hands into his pockets,”Okay.” He looked around the room for a moment before turning back towards Keith,”I came here to see if I could look at more of those ceedees. Could you help me out?” 

Keith was never more relieved to hear those words,”Yeah.” 


	3. Drizzle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone again for reading, also commenting/kudos!

The next day was the beginning of the Final exams and Keith was more than ready. He had gone to bed early that night, as he had been for most of the week, and he had more than studied his ass off. Everything was fine, he told himself.

On his way to his Bio class, Keith couldn’t help but feel an onset of anxiety. Not at his exams, but at the arrival of his brother in a few short days. He didn’t know exactly what to feel, he didn’t know exactly how to react. The information had been forced into his face, leaving him no room but to accept it. He bit the inside of his cheek, trying to shove the thoughts away. _Later,_ He told himself, _I’ll worry about this later._

Five minutes into his Final exam for Bio and he realized it was going to be an easy score. It was General Bio, after all, and he was fortunate enough to have read his textbook cover to cover. It was an interesting read and an expansive source of information so of course he had delved into the text repeatedly. He was more than prepared for the questions presented before him.

As he started to relax, blowing through the test with ease, his thoughts began to wander once again. This time however, they did not float towards the pressing issue of his brother, but in a new direction. Lance. He had been snippy with him on more than one occasion and he was beginning to feel as though his rude approach was, at the least, uncalled for. Greatly. Keith didn’t really know why Lance was able to deal with him, even if they hadn’t known each other very long. He had changed the subject fluidly during Keith’s outburst yesterday morning and hadn’t brought it up after that. His smile hadn’t been forced and it was almost as if Keith’s voice hadn’t quavered when he spoke, or cracked when he hissed through his teeth.

 

_“I just...It’s personal. I don’t like to talk about it.”_

 

Keith cringed slightly. He hadn’t meant to sound so worse for wear, so defeated. His emotions had slipped through the cracks in his finely placed wall however, and he had not the means to take them back now. Bubbling another answer on the scantron sheet, he folded his arms momentarily. Lance was strange, Keith thought, and he knew this. He knew, maybe at the back of his mind or maybe somewhere further from his immediate thoughts, but he knew it. And it didn’t bother him, because, hey, Keith was strange too.

But Lance, he wasn’t just strange. There was something about him that was off putting, it wasn’t bad, but it was unbalancing. He hadn’t been able to pinpoint it quite yet, but he felt as if the answer lie on the tip of his tongue. He had only to utter the words.

Keith felt his phone buzz in his pocket and it startled him somewhat. Only one person texted him, Pidge, and she would be in her own class at this time, taking her own exam. He couldn’t fathom who would be messaging him. As curious as he was, he was not willing to put his grade on the line and instead decided to worry about his phone after the test. His grades would come first.

 

It seemed the test was a bit more difficult than he had originally anticipated, but perhaps it was his wandering thoughts that had him reading the questions three times over. At this point, as he handed in the sheets, it didn’t really matter.

He hooked his waist bag over one shoulder as he left the class, much earlier than most of the students. He pulled his phone from his pocket and slid his thumb over the lockscreen.

 

**_Lance-a-lot:_ **

_[8:12 AM] Heeeeyyyyy, text me when ur done with ur test or whatever._

 

Keith mentally cringed at Lance’s poor typing but realized quickly that he should have expected nothing less. His fingers ghosted over his keyboard as he typed a reply.

 

 _[8:58 AM]_ **_What did you need._ **

_[8:59 AM]_ **_*?_ **

 

Keith stuffed the phone back in his pocket as he made his way off campus. He wasn’t going to bother sticking around. It was a Thursday, and he had two more days of exams before he could relax, only to have the next semester shoved in his face only a few days later. He rubbed his temples slightly. His phone buzzed.

 

_[9:04 AM] Keef, Buddy. You done with ur test already?_

 

 _[9:05 AM]_ **_Yeah, it was pretty easy._ **

_[9:05 AM]_ **_Uh, what’s up?_ **

 

_[9:06 AM] Well im at this store and they said they sell seafood so naturally im like oh cool._

_[9:06 AM] Keef, it was NOT seafood, it was food??? Made?? from sea animals?? I think i puked a little._

_[9:07 AM] WHy woULD THEY DO THAT???_

 

_[9:09 AM] KEiTH IM HAVING A CRISIS, PLEASE TEXT BACK._

 

 _[9:10 AM]_ **_Lance, what did you think seafood was._ **

 

_[9:12 AM] food for the sea??? I was greatly disappointed, and my attempts to save the lobsters are not boding well for me_

_[9:13 AM] hE TOLD ME I CANT TOUCH THE FOOD??? EXCUSE ME, THEY ARE NoT FOOD_

 

 _[9:13 AM]_ **_Omfg. I’m dying._ **

_[9:13 AM]_ **_Lance, are you at a seafood restaurant._ **

_[9:14 AM]_ **_Lance, seafood is food from the sea. It’s like, lobsters and crab and fish and stuff?_ **

 

 _[9:20 AM]_ **_Lance please tell me you didn’t try to fight the waiter or something._ **

 

_[9:25 AM] your accusations are cold, keef._

_[9:25 AM] but_

_[9:26 AM] I may or may not have tried to fight the waiter._

 

 _[9:27 AM]_ **_LANCE_ **

 

_[9:27 AM] I alSO MAY OR MAY NOT_

_[9:28 AM] have gotten banned from ever coming bac_

_[9:28 AM] *back_

_[9:28 AM] WhiCH IS COMPLETELY UNRELAATED_

_[9:29 AM] TO THE WAITER THING_

 

 _[9:30 AM]_ **_LANCE WTF_ **

_[9:31 AM]_ **_LANCE WHY WOULD YOU FIGHT THE WAITER._ **

 

_[9:32 AM] HE WaS SERVING LOBSTER ON A PLATTER_

_[9:33 AM] SOME OF THE FISH WERE STILL ALIVE???_

_[9:33 AM] he wAS DISRESPECTFUL AND nEEDED TO BE DEALT WITH_

 

 _[9:33 AM]_ **_LANCE HE WAS DOING HIS JOB._ **

 

_[9:34 AM] I was just doing MY job keef_

_[9:34 AM] I have a duty_

_[9:34 AM] to protect the animals_

 

_[9:36 AM] also i may or may not have punched the waiter_

_[9:36 AM] of course nothing is set in stone here_

 

 _[9:38 AM]_ **_Yeah okay, Lance. I’m dying here. Just_ **

_[9:39 AM]_ **_wait where you are or whatever_ **

_[9:39 AM]_ **_I’m coming to get you._ **

 

_[9:39 AM] um why i can handle myself???_

 

 _[9:40 AM]_ **_nope I dont trust you_ **

_[9:40 AM]_ **_I dont trust sOMEONE WHO PUNCHES WAITERS_ **

_[9:40 AM]_ **_FOR DOING THEIR JOB_ **

 

_[9:41 AM] see that’s your problem keef you dont listen_

_[9:41 AM] “i may or may not have”_

_[9:42 AM] i SAID NOTHING WAS SET IN STONE_

 

 _[9:43 AM]_ **_yeah okay whatever. Just text me where you are._**

 

Keith arrived at the seafood place within 15 minutes and found Lance leaning against a pole on the outside, his hands stuffed into his pants pockets and a clear frazzled look on his face. He coughed slightly. Keith approached him cautiously,”Hey.”

Lance perked up slightly, but his eyes hinted at reserved sadness,”Hey.”

“Let’s get out of here, there’s no use sticking around. I mean, since you punched a waiter and all.”

“Okay, once again, I may _or may not_ have.” Lance’s face lit up slightly with humor.

“ _Who does that?!_ ” Keith raised his hands in mock confusion,”I’m surprised they didn’t call the police.”

“If they had I would have made them realize the _real_ crime being committed here today.”

“Okay, Lance.”

 

They walked along the sidewalk, not really heading in a particular direction.

“Keith, do you eat fish?”

“Huh? Well, um, yeah, occasionally.”

Lance’s face looked slightly disgruntled and his nose scrunched up,”Oh.”

Keith realized that was probably the wrong answer to give and thought a moment,”Lance, I know you care about sea animals very much, but fishing isn’t inhumane, as long as it’s done in moderation. The only real crime is overfishing, and there are a lot of activists fighting to stop that.”

Lance’s eyes narrowed and his eyebrows furrowed slightly. His expression was pained.

The sky started to darken somewhat, not in a very noticeable way.

“Keith,”Lance broke off to cough into his sleeve,”Keith I don’t think you quite understand…”

“Well, then, help me to understand. What exactly has you so worried?” Keith started to feel raindrops and he glanced up at the sky. It had been clear only moments ago? What exactly was going on with the weather lately?

Lance coughed again, harder this time. He sniffed slightly and shoved his hands into his pants pockets,”It’s difficult to explain. It’s just…” He bit his lip slightly before raising his head and looking Keith directly in the eyes,”The Ocean is very important to me.”

 

Keith couldn’t look away from Lance’s gaze and he wasn’t sure he even wanted to.  The cobalt of his iris was laced with different tones of cyan and teal. The storm clouds were heavy in his eyes. It was like an entire ecosystem thrived inside the mixture of colors.

A coughing fit interrupted Keith’s thoughts and startled him somewhat.

“You’ve been coughing a lot, are you okay? Do you need to go back to the Dorms?”

Lance shook his head, eyes closed and face still shoved against the inside of his elbow,”No, I’m fine.” He muttered slightly. He rubbed at his eyes and took a deep breath before going back to his relaxed posture,”I’m just tired.” His words were plainly untrue, but if Keith noticed, he said nothing.

 

“Come on, let’s go back to my place.” Thunder rolled in the distance.

 

 

When they arrived at Keith’s dorm, it had began to rain profusely. They shook off their wet jackets and laid them on the armrest of the couch. Keith told Lance to make himself comfortable ( _“Keith, is that a blanket fort. Sweet!”_ ) while he went to the kitchen only a few feet away to grab them some sodas.

“Just water please, I don’t feel so good…” Lance had told him when he asked what kind he wanted.

Keith brought him back a cold water bottle from the fridge. He handed it to him and sat beside him on the mess of blankets,”Are you catching a fever or something? The weather’s been terrible…” Keith rested one hand on Lance’s forehead. He was burning up. Not just by a few degrees either, it was _scarily_ hot. “Lance, maybe you need to see a doctor.”

Lance shook his head wearily and cracked the seal on the water bottle. He downed it within minutes and instantly looked like his skin had retained the color it was losing. Keith felt his forehead again and it was much cooler. He blinked.

Lance let his gaze wander around the living area, his eyes falling on every inch of the room. He saw a television set with multiple consoles set up and tossed in disarray near the base of the shelf it rested on. He saw curtains and walls that were an unattractive beige, resembling that of an empty canvas, color absent from every inch of it. He saw the slightly open window and the few picture frames on the walls and he saw the coffee table with coasters that no one ever used and board games tucked underneath that no one ever played. It was enough to make anyone feel a sense of loneliness if not for the dirty dishes lying in the kitchen sink and the slightly ajar doors that lead to bedrooms, sparking his imagination of what they might look like. If not for the trinkets and stupid accessories that littered the side table and were scattered across the far wall shelves. If not for the warmth of the heater and the buzzing of the kitchen appliances. If not for the cozy den of blankets left unattended on the couch.

The messy atmosphere gave the most beautiful sense of home, it outweighed the lonely color of beige and the suspicious lack of picture frames. It was an okay sort of thing.

“You and Pidge have fun together?” Lance asked.

Keith was slightly confused by the question but answered anyway,”Yeah, she’s basically my sister. We sort of grew up together, both from military families and all.”

“Wait, you’re from a military family?”

“Yeah. Our parents were in the Navy together. Our brothers are best friends.” Keith’s eyes looked distant, thinking about something that seemed to worry him.

“Woah, that’s pretty cool. Are you close with your parents?”

Keith tensed, his eyes glassing over slightly before he blinked and shrugged,”No.”

“Oh...why is that?”

“Dead.”

Lance gritted his teeth. _Fuck._

“Sorry…”

“It’s fine. Not like you could have known.” Keith shrugged again, seeming to revel in a nonchalant appearance. He leaned back and turned his head to get a better view of Lance,”What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Yeah. Your family?”

“Oh.” Lance seemed suddenly uncomfortable,”Well, I uh. My family is a bit complex.” He chuckled slightly, unease present in his voice. He coughed.

Keith scrunched his eyebrows up, confused, but he didn’t press the matter,”Alright.”

“What’s your brother like?” Lance seemed all too content to change the subject back to Keith.

Keith grimaced, showing slight distaste at the question,”He’s great. He’s actually really, _really_ great.”

It was Lance’s turn to be confused,”Then why do you look like you don’t like talking about him?”

“Do I?” Keith asked, almost as if he really didn’t know he was cringing.

“A bit, yeah.” Lance offered him a smile,”Did something happen?”

 

Keith’s jaw was tight, all his muscles tense. _Did something happen?_ That question stung him more than he’d ever know. It stung him to his core and even further. It stung for reasons he didn’t comprehend.

“Yeah, something happened.” He found himself saying. He would have attempted to brush it off, maybe say that they just weren’t very close, but it was all lies. Lazily crafted lies that he had been springing on everyone who asked for so many years. The truth was just too much for him to speak. His feelings were harsh and he knew deep down, he was selfish for feeling them.

“What exactly happened?”

That, Keith decided, was information he was not yet willing to disclose. He stood from his spot on the couch and went back into the kitchen,”It’s just really...complicated. Too much to explain?” Keith offered, holding a cup he had set his sights on washing.

Lance nodded, stiffening in his seat somewhat at the loss of Keith at his side,”Yeah, no it’s fine. I don’t wanna push.”

Keith was glad Lance was so willing to give him space, but part of him wanted Lance to push. Part of Keith just wanted to tell him all about his _selfish_ feelings and his resentment towards his brother and his hatred towards the Navy.

Keith finally resolved however, that now was not the time.

 

 

Pidge arrived back about 30 minutes later, walking in on the boys having an extensive conversation about different kinds of plants.

“Lance, it’s _Quercus_.”

Lance was laying on his back, engulfed by the pile of blankets,”No, see I specifically remember reading somewhere that the correct name is _Fagus._ ”

“Lance.”

The boy in question turned his head slightly.

“Lance, _Fagus_ is a Beech tree. _Quercus_ is an _Oak_ tree.”

“What? No?” Lance fell off the couch with an _umph_ and shuffled over to him, where Keith had his laptop set out on the coffee table. A quick google search proved that Keith was right.

“No, this can’t be right!” Lance pouted, apparently not liking that he was wrong.

Keith shrugged,”They’re both in the same family, so it’s pretty easy to confuse the latin names.” Keith offered him a mischievous smile,”Maybe wait ‘til you actually start taking classes before trying to act so smart.”

This didn’t make Lance feel better and he continued to pout.

 

“Studying?”

 

The voice made the boys jump back. Lance had been bent over Keith’s lap when reaching for the laptop and only now returned to his spot on the couch. Keith hadn’t seemed to notice, apparently.

“Uh, yeah.” Keith started to set aside the various textbooks they had pulled out in their extensive “research” about plants. During their ventures, Lance had proved to be quite the expert on aquatic life.

“Subject?” She asked like she hadn’t heard the argument when she walked in.

“Bio.” Lance mumbled, his face buried in the blankets still scattered across the couch.

“Cool.” She set her bag down and walked over to where Lance’s head rested,”I don’t believe we’ve met, you must be Lance.”

Lance’s face retreated from the blankets as he raised himself to formally greet Keith’s roommate. His face lit up in a cocky grin,”You must be Pidge.”

“That I am. I’m assuming you’ve heard nothing but good things, me being the best sister alive and all.” She rested one hand on her hip, the other being held out.

“From what I hear, you certainly are.” He gripped her small hand in his.

Keith was pouting at them from his corner on the floor. Pidge flashed a sadistic grin,”Aww, you really do care.”

“Shaddup.”

“His face lights up when he talks about you.” Lance pressed, roistering in Keith’s obvious discomfort.

“Likewise.”

Keith sputtered and whirled on Pidge,” _Katie!_ ”

She shrugged at him, giving her well-known “ _oops_ ” look, although Keith knew very well she was far from being remorseful.

Lance snorted,”Oh, you talk about me?” He turned towards Keith, placing his chin on the back of his hands daintily,a wry grin creeping onto his features,”Of course you must have mentioned my raving good looks and my elevated intelligence.”

Keith deadpanned,”You thought an Oak tree was _Fagus_.”

Lance looked mockingly wounded,”Sorry that my land knowledge isn’t so great!” He gesticulated, flailing dramatically, before falling into a defeated heep on the couch.

Keith seemed to ponder on Lance’s strange wording. The way he said “ _land knowledge_ ”. However, the thought, as most of them were, was swept away by an interruption.

“Oh he’s mentioned your looks in detail, but not much about your smarts.” Pidge mused,”Makes you wonder what he’s _really_ after in a guy.”

Keith’s head snapped towards Pidge once again (He swore his neck was gonna be sore the next day) and he gaped,”Um, _Pidge_?”

“Wait, wait, what does he say about my looks?” Lance seemed genuinely curious but that look of mischief (maybe even pleasure?) still hid behind his stormy eyes.

“Oh you know, the usual.” Pidge curled her fingers beneath her chin and swayed her hips,” _Oh Katie, he’s ethereal!_ ”  

Keith’s jaw was tight and he was beginning to think that bringing Lance here was a terrible, _terrible_ mistake. He was crushing the binding of his textbooks in his hands, staring at Pidge with a mixture of horror and slight surmise. He really should have seen this coming.

 

Lance, however, wasn’t even bearing a look that slightly resembled distaste or uncomfortability. He simply laughed at Pidge’s “recreation” of Keith and covered his mouth with one hand. It was a gesture that indicated shyness, but not in a bad way, as Keith had most certainly been expecting. Lance didn’t seem phased.

“Keith, man, you really think that?” Lance shot him a warm grin, it wasn’t a full smile, but it didn’t lack any of the depth.

It was then that Keith noticed Lance’s eyes. He wondered how he had missed them earlier. They were eccentric, but confoundingly familiar. Familiar in a way Keith hadn’t yet known. The rolling grey waves were violet _sunsets._ The sea of blue held a lavender tint that made his iris scintillate.

Keith’s breath was taken away yet again by Lance’s poor excuse for eyes. They weren’t eyes, they were masterpieces, fine works of art that Keith felt the urge to preserve. Keith found himself staring _shamelessly_.

 

Apparently he hadn’t answered Lance, not that he really cared at this point. He was lost, lost in his thoughts and lost in Lance’s eyes. His surroundings held no meaning and he found himself reaching out. He wasn’t thinking, wasn’t really making decisions. He was just _reacting_ . Lance held that same pull that the sky held. Lance gave him that same _feeling_ . Lance’s eyes had that same _appearance._

As Keith reached out, he found himself in a position he hadn’t previously known he was in. Lance had moved closer to him. Keith had unbeknownst to his own mind, moved forward as well. His hand was raised motionless in the air beside Lance’s face, as if to touch him. The carnelian-skinned boy in front of him smirked, his eyebrows resting lazily on his forehead, his eyes still maintaining that look of _pleasure._ Keith was sure that was what he was seeing now. He scrunched his eyebrows up, glaring loftily back at Lance.

 

“ _You’ve got stupid, pretty eyes.”_

 

Keith knew he had fucked up even before the sentence was finished. As soon as the words had started to leave his mouth, he had realized his mistake and attempted to back-track. But it was far too late for that. He had said it. He had said Lance had _stupid, pretty eyes._ Keith should have started digging his grave _hours_ ago.

Much to his chagrin, Lance melted into a puddle of snorts and spacious chuckles. He fell away, taking his heat with him, and landed on his back next to where Pidge was still standing with an equally amused expression.

 

“ _Holy shit, Dude._ ” Pidge cackled, holding her stomach and reeling back. She braced herself against the television.

Tears were springing to Lance’s eyes (Keith growled, as they were the subject of his torment) and he was rolling around in the small space between the coffee table and the couch.

“Oh man, h-how could I not _swoon._ ” Lance snorted again, loud and airily, chuffing with bemusement and jovialness,”That was _the_ most romantic thing I’ve ever heard.”

Keith blushed from both embarrassment and the fact that Lance had referred to what he said as “romantic”. The poor boy crossed his arms disdainfully,”W-whatever. Forget I said anything, _assholes_.” He directed the comment at both of them, but sent a withering glare in Pidge’s direction. The prodigy was paying no attention to Keith’s searing gaze, still concerned with her constricting stomach.

Keith knew somehow, that there was no way he was _ever_ going to live this down. His reputation was shot, and he was just gonna have to build it up again. If that was even a choice.

Lance collected himself, finally, and attempted to bring himself to a sitting position. He swiped at his eyes (those damned eyes) and quieted his laughter to a soft chortle. His breath came out in short puffs and his chest rose and fell in succession. After what seemed like an eternity, Lance lifted his gaze. He held an expression of triumph.

 

“ _You’ve got some pretty stupid eyes too.”_

 

Without context, Keith would have taken that comment as an insult. But instead, his heart leapt in his throat. _Fuck, if this guy doesn’t say the most unexpected shit._ Keith leered at him, his lips in a straight line, but his eyes narrowed in what could almost be seen as a pout.

“Yeah, haha.” Keith mocked, leaning back against the firm upholstery of the couch. He turned his head and frowned, leaving dark lines at the corners of his mouth.

Lance was still staring at him with that damned smirk, seeming not to take notice of how upset Keith actually was. As he opened his mouth, maybe to apologize, he broke into a fit of coughs. Keith’s gaze shot back towards Lance in a stroke of worry and he offered him the same frown, deeper set on his face this time.

“Lance, are you really okay, because you keep coughing?”

Lance grunted, wiping at his cheek in what seemed to be an irritated manner,”Yeah, ‘s all good.”

“Mm. Okay.” Keith kept his eyes on the boy, however, not completely convinced.

After a moment, Lance seemed to recover and clasped his hands together, the playful grin returning within a split second. Keith arched a disbelieving eyebrow.

 

“So, I guess I can just leave you two to...ya know.” Pidge was now resting her back against the television screen, her legs crossed in front of her and her arms angled at her sides. Her posture was elevated in cockiness by the more than smug smile she openly displayed.

“Pidge, what the literal hell do you even mean by that.” Keith asked in a monotone voice, seeming to have recovered from his previous dilemma.

“ _Ya knoooow_.” She wiggled her eyebrows and laughed at Keith’s sudden look of absolute repulsion. Lance snorted.

“That’s it, no more R-rated movies for you.” Keith said defiantly, pushing himself up to stand.

“You know I can just hack your Netflix account, changing the password won’t keep me out~” She said in a somewhat sing-song voice. Keith scowled.

“Gremlin.”

 

“Ugh, ya know what.” Keith started for the door, scooping up  his keys as he passed the side table,”We’re just gonna go somewhere else.”

“ _Okaay, have fun._ ” Pidge cooed after them as Lance stood up, still laughing a bit. Keith sent her a shriveled look before closing the door behind them.

 

 

“My roommate is kinda...out there.” Keith muttered apologetically once they were away from the dorm complex and walking down the side street. It was raining lightly and they both had their hoods pulled up. 

“Aw, be nicer to her. She’s your _sister_.”

“Gross.” Keith made a disgusted sound, but Lance could see that it was far from genuine.

“I think she’s great. You guys look like you’re really close.” Lance complimented,”It must be nice to have so much love for someone.” His voice drew out wearily, almost _jealously._ It made Keith glance up from the sidewalk,”Well, yeah, it is.” His gaze rested unevenly on Lance before looking past him,”But it’s difficult.”

“What do you mean?” Lance’s eyes showed incertitude.

“Like…” Keith bit his lip, trying to pick the right words,”It’s just...messy. When you care about someone, sometimes things can get extremely arduous. Situations...Feelings. Everything becomes stress.” Keith clenched his fist, digging his nails into the palm of his hands,”Sometimes your feelings can make you do things you _regret_...and there is no way you can take any of it back.” His voice was strained, as if he was pulling these words not from his head, but from a place he always tried not to expose. “Those things can cause rifts, breaches in relationships. They can create a tear that can never be mended...and suddenly you find yourself alone.” Keith had been staring at the sidewalk again, his face scrunched up in a pained expression.

Lance watched him, his eyebrows settled, his expression relaxed. His mouth was set in a line, unfazed by either smile or frown. He let his hand find Keith’s shoulder.

The boy flinched, not prepared for the sudden contact, but said nothing. His cheeks were now burning with shame. He hadn’t meant to burden Lance with such an awful description of what he considered _Love._

“Keith.”

Keith shuddered, but didn’t respond besides that. When the silence seemed to carry on, he finally lifted his head to meet Lance’s steady gaze.

“Keith, why did you stop playing guitar?”

The boy in question almost laughed. Lance must have been doing research, for that was the first time he had said the object’s name with certainty, as if he knew in confidence how it was pronounced. Keith cleared his throat and took in a shaky breath, but his voice came out firm, laced with heat.

 

“I stopped playing because of my _brother._ ”


	4. Storm Winds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is extra Keith angst, brace yourselves I guess. (Don't worry, there will be angsty Lance a-plenty).

The professor droned on and on about the test requirements and the responsibility of the students not to cheat. Not that Keith was one to cheat in the first place, but he knew some of the students weren’t as trustworthy. He slumped in his chair, fidgeting with his mechanical pencil and biting the end of his thumb. He was distracted, to put it lightly.

 

Today was the day. Matt had called earlier, telling Keith about how Shiro was supposed to arrive later that evening. To the common ear, it would seem as if the reminder was one of a friend being a good friend, but to Keith it was a much needed warning. He was not in any way prepared.

Once again, pushing thoughts of his brother further to the back of his mind, he focused on the last exam of the week. The last exam of the Semester. He was going to make it.

  


His shift at _Voltron_ started immediately after his class and he had begrudgingly complied to show up, per Allura’s scolding. He now sat at the service desk with the familiar g clef pins and the old CD Player tucked neatly on a shelf and the cash register and the desktop computer. It was a constant in his life, and although he didn’t necessarily _enjoy_ his job, he knew he was lucky to have it.

When Keith had first visited the store, it was many many years ago. It felt like an eternity since he walked in with his brother and _oo_ ed and _ahh_ ed at the various shiny instruments and musical accessories. It felt like centuries since he had first set his eyes on the most extravagant display of guitars he’d ever seen. It was such a distant memory, it was a struggle to recall the way his heart had skipped a beat when Allura offered to show him around, to play for him. The way Shiro had smiled at them, falling behind somewhat, as not to disturb Keith’s moment. The way he had thoughtlessly _encouraged_ him.

Keith gulped, his throat tightening. Shiro was good to him. He was a good brother, a good son, and an overall good _man._ Keith, on the other hand, was selfish to the core.

When Allura, much the same vibrant woman she was today, had offered to save him a guitar until he was grown enough to hold it without trouble, he had been ecstatic. His eyes had wandered to the full display of different acoustics and electrics. He had let his eyes rest on a semi-acoustic, lingering for a moment before turning to the more brightly painted and lacquered set on the opposite wall. One guitar had popped out to him, however. It was one that had been sitting isolated on a far corner of the Section, beautifully posed on a stand. It _called_ to him. _That one._ Keith had thought, heart beating fast. _I want that one._ It was luxuriously painted a satin red and glossed over. The pick guard was midnight black and the neck was tinted with a deep rose scarlet. He was in love from the moment he set eyes on the instrument.

Allura had been more than happy to save it for him, and once he had gotten a few years older, she gave it to him for a birthday present. He had insisted on buying it himself, once he had the means, but she had simply shrugged. _“It’s a gift, Keith. Just promise me you’ll enjoy it.”_ And enjoy it, he had. He hadn’t let the guitar out of his sight ever since that day. He practiced it day and night, his hands cramping constantly and his fingers callusing over. He had _perfected_ the craft. He had memorized every chord, become familiar with every string. He had even begun to write songs of his own.

 

And he knew he wasn’t bad. No, he _knew_ he was good. Shiro knew he was good. Allura knew he was good. Pidge knew he was good. He was simply _good._ And it was the best feeling, because for once, he was good at something and he _enjoyed_ it. It wasn’t like how he was good at math, with the boring equations and statistics that he could care less about. It wasn’t like science, where his curiosity sparked, but it wasn’t something he wanted to commit to. It was something that held no limits, something where there were no wrong answers. Only _feelings._ Keith was a mess of feelings. To the blind eye, he often seemed stoic, but underneath his beautifully constructed wall, there was a universe of _feelings._ And when his fingers struck the chords, it was only then that he felt they could rest.

He had started to dream, after that realization. He dreamed about a career. He wanted to be a musician.

At first, Keith had expected a poor reaction, someone to tell him that his efforts were best served elsewhere. But to his surprise, he was met with a flurry of _praise_ . Shiro was happy for him. _“Pursue your dreams, Keith. That’s all I care about.”_ Allura was knowing. _“I knew there was a little guitarist inside of you.”_ Pidge was supportive. _“You’re good, Keith. A lot better than most.”_ And Keith was in a state of pure ambition from then on out. He wrote songs, he recorded them, he critiqued them. He worked day and night, spending all of his free time on his dream. It was at this time, that Allura had offered him the job at _Voltron._ Excited to be able to work with objects of his affection, he had accepted the job with vigor. He started out in the Guitars and Basses Section, a knowledgeable employee and immune to the demands of the everyday customer. He was an amazing asset.

 

But that changed. It had changed suddenly and drastically, all at once. Shiro, had joined the Navy. Against Keith’s wishes, against his _pleas_ , Shiro had told him that it was his _duty_ . Keith could not comprehend how that could be so. _“Shiro, they’ve tore our family apart! They took our parents!”_ But his words meant nothing, apparently, because Shiro had simply smiled. It was a sad kind of smile, one that held slight regret, but it was a smile all the same, and it was then that Keith had began to drift away.

Shiro came home whenever he could, but Keith found that he didn’t quite enjoy his brother’s company as he used to. His smiles became forced and the conversations became tense. They had created a cavity between them, that nothing would ever fill. They had began to grow apart. And Keith knew that was something that happened, but it didn’t stop the pain from coming. And it was at this time that he began to write his _sad_ songs. The ones he never showed anyone, keeping them in a shoebox under the bed. These songs would not be enjoyed, but rather smothered in the sound of silence.

 

After about a year, Shiro stopped coming home at all. Keith was a freshman in college around this time, and had all but left music at the back of his mind. He still played every night, inclined to keep his skills in check. But his vigor was fading and his dream seemed like a distant proclamation. He did not feel the same.

When he went to work, it was forced. He became the embodiment of the stereotypical retail worker. His once bright demeanor began to waver and he turned to snapping and cross frowns. Keith felt empty. He turned to constant studying, hoping that would put his thoughts at ease. When he made arrangements to room with Pidge, he thought the company might make the pain less noticeable, and the hurt drive less deep. But it only thickened his grievance, a constant reminder of the cruel hand fate had dealt him. His guitar started to become his only means of stability, and he found that in some way, the music grounded him.

 

But then after what seemed like eons, Shiro came home.

 

Keith had never felt so torn. His brother had returned, but he had not returned the same. Shiro had changed as well, much as Keith had, but somehow Keith knew the damage was much worse. To his disappointment, there was no happy reunion. Once Shiro had been cleared for visitation, Keith did not go to see him. He was scared of what he would find. Scared of what he _wouldn’t_ find. And Keith had always known that it was selfish.

A few weeks before Shiro would be released, Pidge finally convinced him to go. He had sat by his bedside in utter silence while the doctor had explained in detail to him everything that had happened. It wasn’t the descriptions of his injuries that made Keith’s stomach curdle, however, it was the look on Shiro’s face. He had been through hell and back, and yet, he still had that sickeningly _familiar_ smile. Shiro was the one in the hospital bed, but it was as if he was trying his best to comfort _Keith._ It was at this moment, that Keith’s guilt about selfishness began to morph into resentment.

 

That resentment only grew once Keith found out about the worst part of Shiro’s injuries. The words had hit him like a ton of bricks, and he felt like he was being crushed, smothered. He hadn’t responded to the doctor’s words. He had simply got up.

 

And left.

 

He spent the next few weeks cooped up in his room, refusing to come out. When Shiro was released, he did not go to see him, just as he had in the hospital. Shiro stayed with Allura, so he had avoided work as well. He did not go to classes. Finally, deja vu struck and Pidge once again coaxed him from isolation. Keith went back to work.

The time following Shiro’s arrival was nothing but pure stress. Shiro tried hard to cope and adjust and Keith realized he wasn’t helping. He was taking out all of his pent up anger and frustration out on his brother, and Keith had screamed into his pillow that night because it was **_selfish._ **

 

After that, he tried his best to accommodate Shiro. He studied up on the subject of his injury and started spending more and more of his free time making adjustments, learning about ways he could help. He would not play guitar.

And as it rained one night, Shiro told Keith that he was going back. He was going back to the _Navy_ . _“They offered me a job on the mainland. I won’t be working on ships anymore.”_ Keith had snarled, not hearing any of it, but not because he wasn’t listening. No, Keith was always listening now, but he never heard a thing. What he would give to hear Shiro say _something._ But the sound never came and Keith was at the edge of his rope, the tension starting to rip and fray the threads. “ _What the fuck is wrong with you, honestly?! Fuck your job, fuck the Navy, and fuck_ **_you_ ** _.”_

 

That same night, Keith had rampaged through his room, ripped up the scribbled, unorganized pages of lyrics in his shoebox. He had took one look at his guitar and grabbed it by the neck, smashing it _hard_ against an opposing wall.

 

In the morning, Shiro had left.

Keith told himself he would never touch a guitar again.

  
  


The images flashed in Keith’s head like an HD movie and he had to blink several times to keep the emotions from rising up. Shiro hadn’t really visited much since then. He had come up maybe once or twice, staying only a few short days. He would offer Keith sparse smiles, but they were never full. They were experimental, as if he expected Keith to bare his teeth and turn the other cheek. Keith didn’t like the feeling it gave him.

When Matt accompanied him, it would be easier to smooth everything over. But Matt no longer came. It wasn’t long after Shiro had returned to the Navy that the Holt sibling’s father had passed in a terrible accident. Or so called “accident”, as Keith would often refer to it. He did not like the Navy. They had given false reports, and he was sure of it. Pidge was sure of it. But throughout their extensive research, they had never been able to grasp any firm evidence. After a while, they let the suspicion slowly turn into side-lined hate.

 

Keith slumped in his chair, fiddling with the pins. They were often the object of choice when he was lost in deep thought. He was so distracted, he didn’t notice when Allura approached him. She had her hair set in a fishtail braid, strands falling out gracefully from where her hair overlapped. She bent over and splayed her hands out onto the desk. Lowering her face to his level, she tried to catch his eye. He slowly flicked his gaze up to meet hers.

 

“Pidge told me Shiro is arriving today.” She said softly, as if the very mention of his brother would set him off,”I’m wondering why you haven’t told me yourself.”

Keith furrowed his eyebrows and bit the inside of his cheek. Pidge didn’t often come into the store, so he figured she had come simply to tell Allura. She must have known he didn’t plan on mentioning it. Not yet, at least.

“Doesn’t matter. He usually stays with you, you woulda found out anyways.” Keith muttered, straightening out, stretching his suddenly sore limbs. He turned his head, blocking his view of Allura’s pout.

“I would still have been happier to have been informed, Keith.” She set her lips in a line, a trait that showed just how tired she was.

“I’m sorry. I’ve been busy.” Keith attempted to apologize, but it came out snappy.

“Keith…” She sighed, giving him that look she always did. He hated it. The image of pity in her eyes, the sadness. It was directed at _him_ and it was uncomfortable.

“Allura, I’m sorry okay. I’m trying.” His voice raised a pitch, making him clear his throat quickly,”I really am.”

She nodded, her eyes turning to a more supportive light,”I know you are. Just remember, your brother loves you.”

 

_Your brother loves you, Keith._

 

_Your brother is a good man, Keith._

 

_Your brother cares about you, Keith._

 

_Your brother-_

 

He bit back a response and settled for a curt nod instead.

  


The rest of Keith’s shift, he decided, wasn’t too bad.

He heard the ding of the front door chimes and turned his head lazily to see who was walking in. He was pleasantly met with the warm ocean of Lance’s eyes. Keith’s mood instantly lifted. However, when Lance leaned over to cough, Keith’s frown returned.

“I really think you need a doctor.” Keith said gruffly, crossing his arms.

Lance instantly raised his head and held his hands up defensively,”It’s just a little cough, relax Keef.”

“Mhm, I’ll believe it when you’re better.” He reached out to rub Lance’s back and the boy hummed in appreciation. Keith let himself smile.

“So, as usual, you don’t seem to be doing much work.”

“Yeah, that’s me.” Keith picked up the magazine and pretended to read it. He did this often when he wanted to act busy.

“Well, while you’re not doing anything _important_ ,” Lance gestured towards the magazine,”how about you take out that…” He made a loop with his finger, searching for the name,” _CD Player._ ”

Keith snorted, setting the magazine aside. He placed one hand on his hip, smirking,”You’ve been doing research.”

Lance stuck out his bottom lip in a pout,”What of it.”

“Nothing, nothing.” Keith held his hands out, much as Lance had done earlier,”I’m impressed. You learn quickly.”

Lance raised an eyebrow,”You know this how?”

“When you first came in here, you didn’t know what a _CD_ was.”

“Point taken.” He raised his hand to silence him.

Keith laughed, a smile lighting up his features. Lance noticed he had dark shadows under his eyes and his previous smiles had seemed somewhat forced. He frowned.

“Keith, what’s up, Man?”

Keith’s laughter stopped abruptly and his eyes darted up.

Lance was looking at him with drawn up eyebrows and concern,”You doin’ okay?”

Keith let his eyes droop, features relaxing,”Yeah, Lance. I’m fine.”

“Keith, once again, I’m not stupid.” Lance’s eyes were stern, irritation present,”I want you to stop lying to me _right now._ ”

Keith’s eyes widened at the bite in Lance’s tone and he stared for a long time, trying to comprehend the harshness. But he had felt, that beneath the angry tone, lay worry.

“Lance, I’m…” He couldn’t say he _wasn’t_ lying. That would be _another_ lie. So he settled for the least desirable option,”I’m sorry.”

Lance narrowed his eyes before smirking in victory,”Good. Now tell me what’s bothering you.”

Keith thought a moment before raising an eyebrow in suggestion,”Umm, Exams?”

“The Semester ended today. Wrong.” Lance made a buzzer sound.

“Work?”

“Nope.”

“Pidge’s collection of smutty fanfiction?”

“Um, slightly disturbing, but nope. Wrong again.” Lance leaned closer, bracing his hands on the service desk,”Keith, Stop. Tell me.”

Keith leaned back a bit,” It’s nothing important.”

Lance seemed to go over something in his head before coming to a decision. He let a warm grin grace his features and leaned forward yet again, getting unbearably close. Keith tried to avoid his gaze, leaning back as far as he could, but Lance didn’t let him go far. He left his eyes trained on the desk, his cheeks growing redder by the second. Lance was _close. Too close_ , Keith shuddered. The messy haired boy was searching for his eyes, trying to capture them, and Keith could _feel_ it. He knew that sooner or later, he would have to give in. The warm gust of air that fell on his neck, the heat of Lance’s body, the fire that burned on his own skin- it was too much. He held back a sound of discontent and gulped.

“ _Keith_ ,” The name slipped out fluidly,” _Tell me._ ”

 

Keith steadily lifted his head, letting his eyes wander over Lance’s visage- his mouth, his nose, his cheekbones- before he finally allowed them the gratification of Lance’s gaze. It was at this time, that Keith felt just how close they were. Keith could see every individual spoke, every section of color in Lance’s iris. He could see the darkness of his pupil, the curl of his eyelashes. He swallowed, forcing down any sound he might make. Lance was suffocatingly close. Keith must have gravitated towards him, for they were but a hair’s breadth away now. Keith found himself no longer entranced by Lance’s soft oceans but was now staring at something he found much more compelling.

His _lips._

Keith hadn’t noticed them before, always drawn to Lance’s more noticeable features. But now he couldn’t look away. He could make out how they were outlined, smooth. A mildly lighter shade of mocha, adding a pastel appearance. He had laugh lines, pronounced now as he held a smirk in place. Keith bit his own lip.

“U-uh…” Keith breathed out, still unfocused. He had lost his train of thought, trying to maintain his self control.

Lance raised an eyebrow, starting to lean closer,”Yeah?”

Keith ran his tongue over his bottom lip, opening his mouth to speak,”I-”

 

The door’s bells chimed and Keith instantly pulled away, realizing how cold the store really was. He turned his head towards the entrance, expecting a customer.

His heart plummeted. His breath hitched.

 

His brother-complete with the long angled scar on his nose- smiled back at him, somewhat cautious.

 

Keith could feel his heart pounding in his ears. He started to shake slightly and made a fool of himself, setting the magazine aside and clearing his desk quickly. Lance had caught on and turned his head towards the object of attention.

“Who is this?” He asked, curious.

 

“Shiro!” A sweet, serene voice called from a different room. The owner of said voice came into view, running out to meet the man. She threw her arms around him and he stumbled back, a genuine grin spreading across his face.

 

Lance recognized the woman as Allura, she had assisted him on more than one occasion. However, he did not know who the mysterious man was. He had a striking scar that stretched across the length of his face, although it did nothing to diminish his looks. He was wearing a black bomber jacket, seeming to favor one arm. Lance, being intuitive, could guess he must have injured it some time ago.

The only thing that he could not make an inference about was the way he did not say anything. Allura was cupping his face, rambling on about how much she missed him. He simply smiled back, opening his mouth periodically in what could be seen as a laugh, but...he uttered nothing. His chest rose and fell as if he was laughing, but there was no sound to back it up. Lance was stumped.

He turned back to Keith, hoping he would offer an explanation. His previous subtle observation was lost when he realized the state Keith was in. Eyes wide, hands shaking, breath uneven. He would have said something, but Keith pushed his way out from behind the desk and whipped past him. Lance followed him with his gaze.

Keith stopped a ways back from the embracing pair, his face contorted in distress. He seemed to be searching for words, unable to speak them. Lance wished he could simply do it in his place.

 

But instead of words, Lance was surprised when Keith lifted his hands instead. _What’s he doing?_

The man, (Shiro, he confirmed) seemed to catch Keith’s movement and lifted his head. He smiled. Keith did not.

In one quick motion, Keith made what looked like a sign. And then another, his hands forming shapes. He was gesticulating fervently, concentration showing in Keith’s face.

Shiro wasn’t fazed, showing a look of understanding. He moved away from Allura and started making gestures of his own, one of his hands showing vibrant metal. _So I was right._

The two were making what looked like carefully thought out hand gestures at each other when it hit him. He had studied about this, when learning about different languages.

 

_They were signing._ His eyes widened and everything suddenly made sense. He pieced it all together.

 

_“I stopped playing because of my brother.”_

 

_Shit._ Lance bit his cheek, clenching his fists slightly.

 

Shiro was _deaf._

 

He didn’t know why the ache in his heart was so large, why it was so _constricting._ He suddenly let his eyes flicker back to Keith and it sunk in. _No wonder._

 

Keith on the other hand, was dealing with much more. He tried to keep his face straight as he breathed out and signed back, evenly and slow. _Why did you come to visit?_

 

_I can’t visit my brother?_ Shiro had an amused look in his eye that instantly made Keith relax, easing his nerves somewhat.

_Yes, you can. You know that._ Keith let his hands linger before forcing them down. Shiro smiled.

_Good._ His gaze focused on something past Keith and he smirked. _Are you going to introduce me?_

Keith quirked an eyebrow and Allura chuckled from her place beside Shiro. He realized moments after, he was speaking of Lance. Keith frowned in minor embarrassment,”Um…” He shrugged, turning to Lance. The boy blinked, noticing the attention had turned to him.

Keith gestured towards Shiro, pointing and then bringing his hand up to his face,”Lance, this is my brother.” He was signing and speaking at the same time, making sure to include everyone in the conversation.

Lance nodded politely towards Shiro, not exactly sure what to say.

“You can speak, ya know. He reads lips.” Keith said blandly.

Lance winced. _Right._

“Hi, I’m Lance.” He moved forward and extended his hand. Shiro gripped it firmly with his prosthetic, making Lance shiver at the contact.

Keith crossed his arms and gave Shiro a bored look,”Happy?”

Shiro shrugged and made several other signs, bringing his hand up to his face and rolling his fingers.

Keith became suddenly flustered,” _Shiro_.”

Lance seemed confused,”Uh...What’d he say?”

Keith looked away, pouting slightly,”Nothing.”

Lance could hear the slight airy sound of Shiro laughing, and assumed that was the loudest he would get. He smiled, “It’s nice to meet you, Shiro.”

The man in question brightened up and started to make fast signs, all of which held no meaning to Lance. Keith held up his hand, gesturing for him to stop. Shiro gave an apologetic smile.

Keith turned to Lance,”He wants to know how we met.”

“That’s a funny story.” Lance remembered clearly how off Keith had been that day.

Shiro raised an eyebrow in question.

“Keith yelled at me.” Lance faked a pout. Keith scoffed,” _Umm, no?_ ”

Lance _tsked_ , folding his arms,”Yeah, I remember it clearly.”

“You’re exaggerating, I did not _yell_ at you.”

“Mhm, kay.”

 

They were interrupted by Allura’s soft chuckles. Shiro was staring at them with an interested smile. _You should have told me you had a boyfriend._

 

“He’s not my boyfriend!” Keith shouted before he could remember not to. He shut his mouth and looked away.

Lance let out a jovial _ppfftt_ before snorting into his hand, coughing at the end.

Keith found himself smiling.

  


It was nighttime. The stars were out and they shone. The weather was neither calm nor drastic. A soft wind blew in from the east and settled the leaves that covered every inch of the ground.

Shiro and Allura had retired for the night, going off to do _whatever_ “just friends” did. Keith was skeptical.

 

“Um,” Lance started, turning to Keith,”So you learned sign language just for your brother?” He asked innocently. The wind rustled his hair, making it stick out more than usual.

“I didn’t _learn_ sign language,”Keith snapped,”I _mastered_ it.”

Lance could see the underlying hint of past hurt in the ebony-haired boy’s eyes, and decided not to pay much mind to the fire in his voice. He turned back to facing forward. They were sitting on the curb outside of _Voltron_. They had remained silent until now.

 

“It’s just…” Keith ran a hand through his messy locks of midnight black, letting the strands fall unevenly,”It’s so _hard_.” His voice started to crack now. He was melting, unable to keep his slowly cracking wall up against the flood water begging to be let in.

“What’s hard, Keith?” Lance prompted, voice gentle,”Tell me.”

_Tell me._

Keith turned to him, features tight. His eyebrows were close together, pained. His eyes were glossy.

And then suddenly the dam broke and the flood was seeping into the cracks, bursting through and engulfing him. His voice quavered, tears threatening,” _It’s hard, Lance. It’s so, so hard._ ” His hands scrunched up the fabric of his jeans,”I try my best to be a good brother, but it’s never _enough_ .” He turned back to stare at the ground, bangs shadowing his face,” _I’m not good enough._ ” His breath hitched and he was clawing at his jeans now,” _Why am I never good enough?!”_ His face showed grief, confusion, resentment,” _Why can’t I ever be good enough?!”_

 

Keith felt a jolt and suddenly Lance was hugging him. His face was pressed against his shoulder, breathing in the scent of freshly washed laundry. The faint aroma of sea salt. He felt Lance’s hold on him tighten and it sent a thrill through him as he realized it had been so long since he had been _touched._ And slowly, Keith wrapped his arms around Lance too and buried his head further into his shoulder. He realized now, that he had been crying. He gripped Lance’s jacket, digging his nails into the soft cotton. He let out a muffled cry, hoping that he didn’t sound too pitiful. Lance said nothing, only moving one hand to run through his hair. Keith closed his eyes, scrunching up his face, wanting to let loose. Instead, the steady pressure of Lance’s hand through his hair left him with relaxation. He slumped against the boy holding him, letting his firm grip lighten. He let out the breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding.

 

“You’re fine, Keith.” Came his voice, light and filled with affection, though he was holding back a cough. Keith could hear the smile in his words,” _You’re just fine_.”

  
And for some reason, Keith believed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: "Shiro shrugged and made several other signs, bringing his hand up to his face and rolling his fingers." - This sign means "beautiful" but can also be used as "pretty", Shiro was saying "Keith, he's very beautiful/pretty."


	5. High Tide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Hahaha did I say I had a plot? Oops...) Writing this made me realize turtles only have one emotion...disappointment. /:

“Keith!” The light sing-song voice resonated throughout the store. There was silence for a moment before the call started up again,”Keith, where  _ are _ you?!” 

Allura was storming her way through every Section in the store, searching for her troublesome employee.  _ Why do I still give that boy a paycheck.  _ She had checked the front desk and he wasn’t there, so she decided to check the rest area. Not there. She wound her way to the Guitars and Basses Section, but was not surprised when it was empty. She was now heading towards every other Section in the store in search of her missing worker. 

Allura walked through the entrance of the Pianos and Keyboards Section, only to sigh at the sight before her. Keith and Lance were splayed out on the floor, looking through albums. 

 

“ _ Boys. _ ” She muttered, flipping her hair over one shoulder. The two looked up guiltily. 

“ _ What have I told you about distracting Keith during his shift.”  _ She fumed out, setting her eyebrows at a cross angle. Lance shrank back slightly and offered an apologetic smile. 

She snapped her head towards the main offender. ”And  _ Keith, _ ” She hissed,” What have I told you  _ repeatedly  _ about not letting yourself get distracted?” Keith shrugged, not quite as sorry and not exactly pretending to be either. 

“Oops, sorry, Allura.” He offered, blinking. Allura huffed and rolled her eyes, her hands set low on her hips. 

“Get back to work right this instant.” She started to walk away before stalling and pivoting back towards Lance,”While you’re here, why don’t you make yourself useful.” She tugged at his ear, prompting him to get up and he solemnly followed her. 

This left Keith to himself and he leaned back, letting his head rest against the cool linoleum of the floor. He used one finger to gently rub the corners of an album, one he had been talking about previously, explaining the history of the band to Lance. He now lifted himself into a sitting position. As he was about to psych himself up to continue his shift, Shiro came into view. 

Keith grimaced, not enjoying that they were alone, and stood up. 

Shiro offered him one of his soft smiles,  _ Can we talk?  _

  
  
  


Lance groaned internally. He had been sucked into doing  _ work.  _ Not that he was lazy (Okay, he was lazy) but it wasn’t his responsibility. He continued to follow Allura, shoulders slouching and a defeated look on his face. He knew he wasn’t going to enjoy this. 

Allura set him to work, restocking shelves with stupid sound-makers and other ridiculous toys  _ Voltron _ sold for the younger customers. He had attempted to play with one at first, but Allura had scolded him and now he was blandly hanging them on the shelf. 

He didn’t know how Keith did it. His job seemed so sullen and depressing, but Keith never let it show on his face. He would blink,  _ “It’s really just kinda boring.”  _ Lance would scoff and say something about him being an old man. 

It was nice to be able to bicker with someone, He hadn’t known that feeling for a long time. How old was he?, Lance found himself thinking.  _ It’s been a few years now... _ But Lance simply didn’t count time in years, they were so short. He prefered to measure himself in millenia. It was a much more sound system, He realized. It made him sound young. 

He set the last kazoo on the shelf and started to hang up some maracas. This store seemed to have everything. As he was hanging the packages, his thoughts began to wonder to the weather. It was getting worse.  _ Things are getting worse _ , He winced as he thought, _ I can’t hold out forever.  _ He had known this for a while, however, but still he pushed his limitations. It wasn’t like he didn’t  _ know _ it was hurting him, it wasn’t like he was unaware. No, he knew perfectly what this was doing to him, being the way he was for so long. Right now, it was just a cough, soon it might be so much worse. He swallowed dryly, trying not to think in such a way. He had a job to do, after all. Lance stepped back from his work, scanning over it before shrugging. Good enough. 

He jolted forward, coughing into his hand. When he was able to catch his breath again, he let out a low groan and ran a hand through his hair.  _ I’m an idiot. _

“Allura, I’m going.” He said to no one in particular and headed towards the door, hands shoved into his pockets. 

 

_ Refreshing.  _ Lance felt the waves lap at his feet, the spray causing cool droplets to freckle his face. He leaned back on his palms, taking in the cool autumn breeze. He felt much better. 

The beach was only about a 30 minute drive from the downtown area, and he found himself spending much of his free time there. Well, when he wasn’t with Keith. The black-haired mullet had been distracting him, forcing him to spend less time near the ocean- much needed time. It didn’t bother him quite as much as it should though. He liked Keith’s company. He found that Keith was a certain kind of eccentric that matched Lance perfectly. He was familiar. The way he set his mouth when he was irritated, the way he scrunched up his nose, the way he  _ laughed _ . Lance sucked in a breath, bringing his knees up and wrapping his arms around them loosely. Keith’s best feature, he decided, was most definitely his laugh. He would cover his mouth slightly, eyes closed and eyebrows furrowed. His smile was soft and it was as if the years of shadows imprinted on his face would disappear. Lance decided he liked it when Keith laughed. He just wished he would do it more often. 

An especially cold breeze blew against Lance’s face, causing him to shiver. He inched forward on the sand, getting closer to the water. It now lapped at his bare feet, making him sigh in content. The sickening feeling he often got from being on land started melting away.  _ It must be all the pollution _ , Lance grimaced, but knew that it was more than that. He sat there for several more minutes, zoning out as the water revitalized him. 

A splashing startled him slightly and he opened his eyes, narrowing them in suspicion. His eyes were met with small beady ones. He smiled,”Hey there.” 

A small turtle looked up at him, expression stoic. 

_ Must be freshly hatched.  _ Lance moved so he was sitting cross legged, leaning over to study the small animal. “What are you doing so far from your brothers and sisters?” The turtle blinked. 

Lance smirked,”Ah, you’re the rebel of the family, I gotchya. Must’ve hatched early.” The turtle was silent. Lance sat there and twiddled his thumbs, waiting for it to leave. When it didn’t move, he scoffed. 

“Well, what’re doing here? You should get going! It’s dangerous to stay on land for too long.” Lance’s smile withered,”Really dangerous, trust me, I should know.” The turtle angled it’s head towards the water. 

“Don’t be nervous, you’ll be just fine.” He reassured the small creature. The turtle reared it’s head back slightly, backing away from the water threatening to whisk it away. 

“I know it can be scary.” Lance offered, voice soft. He reached out and stroked a thumb over it’s new shell,”But I won’t let anything happen to you. I promise.” 

  
  
  


“So, what’s up?” Keith asked, voice slightly agitated. He didn’t mean to sound so harsh, but his patience was wearing thin.  _ Be nicer, Idiot.  _ He bit his lip, arms crossed. He would try. 

 

Shiro grinned,  _ I was wondering if you’d want to spend the day together?  _ Keith pursed his lips,”Sure?” 

_ You look uncertain.  _

“No, I do. I really do.” Keith lifted one hand in a vague gesture,”What’d you have in mind?” 

Shiro seemed to think for a moment before clasping his hands together,  _ Movie? _

Keith deadpanned,”In a theatre?” 

_ Yeah, why not.  _

“I mean, if you want. They’re not gonna have captions.” Keith leaned against a wall. 

Shiro shrugged. 

“Let’s try something else.” Keith thought for a moment,”How about we meet up with Pidge?” 

Shiro looked disappointed,  _ I was hoping we could do something just you and me.  _

“Oh.” It finally hit Keith. Shiro was attempting to re-establish a relationship,”In that case, let’s just go to Altea. You remember the tea shop right?” Keith stood from his position against the wall, heading for the door. 

Shiro smiled and nodded. 

 

Keith sipped at his tea absently, the sound of it making their silence that much more awkward.  _ Just talk to your fucking brother, _ He hissed internally.  _ What about this is so hard to do?  _ Having enough of his own berating thoughts, he set the mug down and took in a shallow breath. 

“So, how’s Matt doing? He said you refused his offer to accompany you?” Keith leaned back in his chair, resting his elbow on the back of it. 

Shiro shrugged and nodded,  _ I didn’t want him to come if he was only doing it for me.  _

“I’m sure he would have enjoyed seeing Pidge. She left early on her last visit.” Keith had never really asked  _ why _ she had come home early, knowing she would share when she felt like it. 

Shiro frowned, brows furrowing. 

“Her last  _ visit. _ ” Keith repeated and the confused look melted away. Shiro sighed mutely and brought the mug of coffee up to his lips. 

“Well, anyways, I guess it’s not important.” Keith stirred his tea absently with one finger, bringing his hand up to lick away the liquid.  _ Bittersweet.  _ He wondered if Lance would enjoy the tea at Altea’s, but pushed the thought away. 

He was brought out of his silent brooding by a tap on his hand. He looked up. 

_ How were your exams? Allura told me the Semester just ended.  _

Keith brought one hand up to wave nonchalantly,”Mediocre at best.” 

Shiro gave him a stern look. 

“Don’t worry so much, of course I aced them.” He sighed, rolling his eyes,”And the new Semester already started.”  _ I wish he would stop acting like Dad all the time.  _ That thought alone, sent Keith into a downward spiral. 

Shiro tapped him again. 

_ Keith.  _

Shiro’s fingers curled around the ‘K’, his hand coming to rest by his ear in the affectionate way he did. Keith blinked up at him, at full attention. 

_ You know I want you to always do what makes you happy, right?  _

Keith let his gaze lower to the mug he was now fiddling with. If he didn’t look at Shiro, he didn’t have to see what he was saying.  _ I don’t know,  _ He told himself. But he did know, he really did. He knew that Shiro wanted nothing but the best for Keith, even if it wasn’t the best for  _ Shiro.  _ He  _ knew  _ this. But even with that knowledge, he still found himself getting angry. Getting angry because somehow, no matter what, he still found ways to blame  _ himself _ . And he didn’t know exactly  _ why _ he blamed himself. He only knew that he did. 

 

_ “You’re just fine. “  _  The words echoed in Keith’s head and he felt heat rush to his cheeks. 

 

The tap on his hand again, this time more gentle. Keith gulped, his eyes still downcast,”I know…” 

Shiro retracted his hand and Keith lifted his head. 

“I know.” 

  
  


Lance was once again in a stare-down with the turtle, who refused to leave. 

“You’re more stubborn than I am.” He deadpanned, crossing his arms,”No, no, it’s okay, I’ve got  _ all _ day. Take your time, please.” He raised one eyebrow, sarcasm thick in his voice.  _ And Keith thought I didn’t understand it.  _

The turtle simply looked up at him, unmoving. 

“You are literally the most infuriating creature ever, I am- Oh my God, just please  _ please _ go. Your siblings seemed to get the memo, just, ya know,” He waved his hands towards the water,”swim... _ that way _ .” 

The turtle turned it’s head towards the water, then once again back at Lance. 

Lance groaned, running one hand through his hair,”Sometimes I really hate my job…” He muttered. 

_ Maybe he’s confused,  _ the thought occurred to Lance suddenly.  _ I mean, since I’m here...and I’m also there…  _

He slapped a hand over his face,”Okay, this is stupid.” 

 

His phone vibrated and he suddenly remembered where he was. Begrudgingly, he removed his phone carefully from his pocket, side-eyeing the turtle who made no attempt to move. He slid open the lock screen. 

 

**_Not-Keef:_ **

_ [6:13 PM]  _ **_Hey, Lance._ **

_ [6:15 PM] Keef, whats up. Sorry i totally ditched you.  _

 

_ [6:16 PM]  _ **_What. Didn’t notice._ **

_ [6:16 PM]  _ **_Anyway, I was wondering what you’re up to._ **

 

_ [6:17 PM] i cant belive you didn’t notice i was gone  _

_ [6:17 PM] *believe  _

_ [6:18 PM] but i guess thats irrelevant  _

_ [6:18 PM] as to what i am doing i only have one question for you _

_ [6:18 PM] now dont jump to conclusions but _

_ [6:18 PM] how would allura feel  _

_ [6:19 PM] about a pet sea turtle for work  _

 

_ [6:25 PM] keith see i said dont jump to conclusions  _

 

_ [6:28 PM]  _ **_Lance is this another one of your shenanigans._ **

_ [6:28 PM]  _ **_cuz_ **

_ [6:29 PM]  _ **_I’m still not fully recovered from last time._ **

 

_ [6:31 PM] Keith see it was just a question _

_ [6:32 PM] dont take it so seriously  _

 

_ [6:34 PM] but seriously  _

_ [6:35 PM] sea turtle yes or no?  _

 

_ [6:41 PM]  _ **_after a quick google search i am absolutely sure it would be a no_ **

_ [6:43 PM]  _ **_Lance I’m sure you know how big these things get?_ **

_ [6:43 PM]  _ **_Like_ **

_ [6:44 PM]  _ **_(Image Sent)_ **

_ [6:46 PM]  _ **_Look at these things? Holy shit._ **

 

_ [6:48 PM] yeah i thought size might be an issue _

_ [6:48 PM] this sucks though cuz  _

_ [6:49  PM] like what am i supposed to do with him now.  _

 

_ [6:50 PM]  _ **_Lance wait_ **

_ [6:50 PM]  _ **_Are you implying._ **

_ [6:50 PM]  _ **_That you are in possession of one of these._ **

 

_ [6:51 PM]  _ **_LANCE._ **

 

_ [6:52 PM] CHILL MAN.  _

_ [6:52 PM] im at the beach.  _

 

_ [6:53 PM]  _ **_Oh._ **

_ [6:53 PM]  _ **_Uh, why._ **

 

_ [6:54 PM] helps me think. Being closer to the water calms me down and stuff.  _

_ [6:54 PM] just, like, a. A comfort thing? I guess. Yeah.  _

 

_ [6:54 PM]  _ **_No, yeah. I totally get it. No worries, Man._ **

_ [6:54 PM]  _ **_Am I uh…_ **

_ [6:54 PM]  _ **_Am I bothering you?_ **

 

_ [6:55 PM] NO _

_ [6:55 PM] no no no no no no _

_ [6:55 PM] sorry if i made it sound like that /:  _

 

_ [6:55 PM]  _ **_Naw, you’re good._ **

 

_ [6:55 PM] so um  _

_ [6:55 PM] whatchya doing? Still at work?  _

 

_ [6:56 PM]  _ **_Actually no, that’s the thing._ **

_ [6:56 PM]  _ **_I kinda ditched my shift to hang out with Shiro._ **

_ [6:56 PM]  _ **_Not a big deal, but now Shiro’s back with Allura and_ **

_ [6:57 PM]  _ **_I’m just kinda bored._ **

 

_ [6:57 PM] oh i get it you called up your good ol buddy lance  _

_ [6:57 PM] cuz you love hangin out with me ;3  _

 

_ [6:58 PM]  _ **_I mean I guess but mostly you were just at the top of my messages._ **

 

_ [6:58 PM] -_-  _

 

_ [6:58 PM]  _ **_What._ **

 

_ [6:58 PM] -_- _

 

_ [6:58 PM]  _ **_WHAT._ **

 

_ [6:58 PM] -_-  _

_ [6:59 PM] to think i thought of you as a fRIEND.  _

 

_ [6:59 PM]  _ **_Oh I’m sorry._ **

 

_ [6:59 PM] doNT  _

_ [6:59 PM] your pity is wasted on me  _

 

_ [7:00 PM]  _ **_Maybe one day you will stop being so extra._ **

 

_ [7:00 PM] that hurt, keef.  _

 

_ [7:00 PM]  _ **_Good._ **

 

_ [7:01 PM] ANYWAYS  _

_ [7:02 PM] OTHER THAN THE FEELING OF BETRAYAL  _

_ [7:02PM] I am also starting to get cold.  _

_ [7:02 PM] but this turtle still won’t move.  _

_ [7:03 PM] so i am stuck here.  _

 

_ [7:04 PM]  _ **_Why are you stuck._ **

_ [7:04 PM]  _ **_What are you talking about._ **

 

_ [7:06 PM]  _ **_Lance, is it sitting on you?_ **

 

_ [7:06 PM] what no it’s like  _

_ [7:06 PM] 2 inches long wtf _

_ [7:06 PM] hOW WOULD I EVEN PUT MYSELF IN THAT KIND OF SITUATION??  _

_ [7:06 PM] IM NOT AN IDIOT??  _

 

_ [7:07 PM]  _ **_Mhm._ **

_ [7:07 PM]  _ **_But why are you stuck._ **

 

_ [7:07 PM] -_- _

_ [7:08 PM] im stuck because i cannOT LEAVE until this thing is safe and in the water _

 

_ [7:09 PM]  _ **_Have you tried putting it in the water._ **

 

_ [7:09 PM] have i tried putting it in the water NO I HAVE NOT TRIED PUTTING IT IN THE WATER _

_ [7:09 PM] it has to go to the water by itself keith.  _

_ [7:09 PM] it has to learn things on its own.  _

 

_ [7:10 PM]  _ **_Oh okay._ **

_ [7:10 PM]  _ **_Well, if you’re gonna be doing that, might as well have some company._ **

_ [7:10 PM]  _ **_Mind if I join you?_ **

 

_ [7:11 PM] in what universe does someone openly volunteer _

_ [7:11 PM] for something like this  _

 

_ [7:11 PM]  _ **_Do you want the company or not._ **

 

_ [7:12 PM] desperately  _

  
  


Keith showed up about forty-five minutes later with blankets and tea. 

 

“So now that I’m actually here, I see what you mean.” He sat beside Lance, the blankets thrown over them both sloppily, getting sand everywhere. The turtle was moving around sloppily, not really going in a particular direction. It kept its gaze on Lance. 

 

“Yeah, I wish it would listen.” 

“Listen?” 

“Yeah.” Lance stared at the thermos and chewed on the inside of his cheek. 

“Ah.” Keith didn’t press the issue but instead looked out over at the expanse of water. 

 

Now, Keith was not a big fan of the Ocean. He actually really  _ really  _ disliked the Ocean. The Navy had helped with that. Years of waiting for his parents to come home only to receive notice that they were lost in an accident. An  _ accident.  _ Keith had heard that line a million times. They had been stationed on a ship circling the Atlantic Coast, a perfectly sound ship, might he add. And they had been lost in an  _ accident.  _ He would never buy into it. 

 

But today the Ocean looked calm. Peaceful and shimmering as the sun cascaded down upon its waters and cast a celestial glow. It reminded him of something but he couldn’t quite place it. Something oddly  _ familiar.  _ The way it’s azure stretched up to paint the sky and how in turn, the sky gifted lavender down up the waves. The beautiful brush-strokes of clouds, airbrushed with sunset gold and melted onto the thick canvas of indigo. With a background of carnelian, the sunset was like a mesmerizing display, showing every conceivable shade of what he could only describe as  _ red _ . The weather didn’t help this effect, however, as a chilling breeze blew over the shore, sending gusts of sand flying every which way. The water of freezing, lapping at their bare feet and bubbling up like a freshly popped can of soda. The waves left a subtle darkness in the sand, making it cooler, the touch of sun quickly escaping back into the air. The dry areas still retained their sun-kissed feel, but were also beginning to cool as night set in. The cliffs surrounding the small escape of shore held green grass that swayed in the wind, telling stories of a time when there might not have been an Ocean. Keith could not imagine the sweet sound of splashing not always being present. It was an off-putting notion. 

 

Keith was roused from his thoughts by Lance’s deep exhale of breath. He turned to the boy, eyes flicking over him. His pants were rolled up at the ends, showing off his calves. Keith only now allowed himself to notice how toned they were. His face was relaxed, in a way Keith hadn’t seen previously. He let his head lull to the side, eyes closed and eyebrows resting peacefully. The corners of his mouth were set slightly, arched, the whisper of a smile. Keith smiled too, liking the way Lance looked with the sunset shadowing his already copper skin. He looked  _ amazing.  _

 

“Keith.” 

The sudden break in silence made him jump and he blinked rapidly. Lance hadn’t opened his eyes, still in the same position. 

“Yeah?” He asked, his tone reserved. 

Lance pulled the blanket tighter around himself, shivering a bit. He seemed to be thinking about something and Keith hadn’t a clue what it was. If he was going over something significant in his head, he made no attempt to show it. 

“If the sea were suddenly to disappear…” Lance started, his voice strained,”do you think people would care?” 

He opened his eyes now, his lashes covering the irises. Lines stretched across the bottom of his lids and he suddenly gained a tired complexion. 

But all of that was forgotten when Lance turned to look at Keith. He sucked in a breath, eyes going wide because he knew now what the Ocean was reminding him of. He knew why it was so unmistakingly  _ familiar.  _ It was because of Lance’s eyes. 

Lance gazed at him with twin Oceans, reflecting the color of the water  _ perfectly.  _ Keith glanced between them, trying to make sure.  _ The same,  _ He thought.  _ It’s exactly the same.  _ And they were. Keith’s voice fell away from him and all he could do was stare. It was the same every time Lance dared to look at him, dared to show him those prepossessing eyes. Dared to blink and hide them. 

 

“Keith?” The voice came again, sounding more uncertain this time. He shook his thoughts away, blinking hard and fast. He willed himself to focus on Lance’s words. 

Lance was staring at him in slight fear, as if the question was one of life or death. Keith tried to think of a good answer. 

 

_ Yes,  _ was his answer. He knew it was true. Without the sea, there would be an imbalanced ecosystem, no fish, less rain. Without the sea, there would be no sea  _ life.  _ Without the sea, there would be no endless expanse of water and no place for the sun to rest. Without the sea there would be no fishermen, no ships, no surfing. But without the sea, Keith bit his cheek, there would be no  _ Navy.  _

Keith was not about to say such a cruel and selfish thing, however, and inclined to offer something less scrutinizing. 

“Yes.” Came his final answer. 

“Yes?” 

Keith nodded, turning to capture Lance’s eyes again, only shivering momentarily at the effect they had on him,”Yes. They would care.” 

Lance searched his features a little longer before accepting Keith’s answer and letting his shoulders slump, air rushing out of his lungs,”I sure hope so.” 

 

_ There it is again,  _ Keith frowned. That weird way Lance would say things. He hadn’t had the time to sit back and reflect on it much but now he did and the more he did the more he realized how strange it was. Lance spoke of the Ocean as if it’s fate was in direct correlation with his own. And Keith was on the brink of believing that somehow, it was. 

 

“Stop doing that.” Keith’s brows furrowed, his mouth set in a straight line. 

Lance gave him a confused look, eyebrows high on his forehead,”What?” 

“That-That thing you do.” Keith waved his hand erratically,”Ya know, when you talk about the Ocean.” 

“I really don’t get what you’re talking about.” Lance deadpanned, pursing his lips in mocking way. 

Keith scowled,”That whole ‘ _ I sure hope so _ ’, you sounded so relieved.” Keith wrung his hands,”Why? I don’t get it. I’ve seen some pretty devoted animal rights activists but the way you talk about the Ocean, man, it’s crazy. It’s like...It’s like you  _ are _ the Ocean. You say everything like it’s affecting  _ you. _ ” 

Lance’s expression gained a defensive bearing and his shoulders stiffened,”Why do you think that.” 

Keith scoffed slightly, lips slanting,”What exactly is your deal, Man?” 

Lance turned his head sharply away, hiding what his face might have revealed in that instant,”I dunno what you mean.” He muttered, clearly uncomfortable. His voice was shielded by a level of indignation Keith hadn’t known him to previously possess. 

Finally, after what seemed like ages staring at Lance’s side, Keith relaxed.”Sorry, it’s whatever.”, He mumbled under his breath, moving to lay on his back. He let one arm plop over his eyes; half of his body was still covered by a blanket. He let his heartbeat slow and his breathing even out, not exactly sure where the sudden anger had come from. He had a problem with that, apparently. 

 

A shift beside him brought Keith to full attention. 

“If I were to tell you…” Lance’s voice was careful and steady, as if treading on turbulent waters,”that perhaps I  _ was _ affected by everything…” 

The shifting grew into a loud shuffle before finally settling down, but Keith could feel that Lance had moved closer. He did not lift his arm. 

“That I was scared about the weather…” 

Keith could feel Lance’s skin pressing against his own, brushing ever so slightly as he moved. 

“That I was worried about the animals…” 

Keith could  _ feel _ Lance’s heat on him now. His eyebrows scrunched up, but he still did not move to look. 

“That I was the Ocean…” Lance used one hand to move Keith’s arm from his eyes. He was leaning over him, face too close for comfort. Their noses were gently brushing against each other. A small grin softened his all but serious physiognomy,”What would you say?” 

 

Keith let his lids flutter open and he was staring straight into Lance’s eyes, as he always found himself doing. But unlike every time before, they were not Ocean waves. They were dark trenches, swirling with midnight and holding the hint of something more. Keith grinned despite himself, his eyes low and relaxed. Keith’s words came out resilient and airy,” _ I’d say you’d lost your mind. _ ” 

 

Keith blinked as Lance’s heat was replaced by the icy breeze of the beach. He sat up and groaned, rubbing at the back of his neck where sand was beginning to collect. Lance had retreated away from him, resigning to watch the waves as they crashed against the cliffs and sent tremors through the ground. A powerful force to be reckoned with, Keith affirmed. 

“Look, Lance, I’m sorry…” 

“Look.” 

Keith blinked wearily,”What.” 

Lance made no move to face him but instead pointed at the water, where Keith could see a retreating form. The turtle, he recognized it right away. 

 

Lance turned to him then, bathed in the light of the freshly risen moon. His smile showed no betrayal to the delight on his face,

”He  _ listened.  _ “ 


	6. Air Pressure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (*sweats* I have no clue what I'm doing) Okay so there's a song in this chapter and it's one of my favorite songs and much of the inspiration for this fic if I'm being honest. You can listen to it here: https://youtu.be/59nAovgXpVk

_Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap._

 

The drumming of Lance’s fingers against the table was driving Keith crazy.

“ _Would you stop.”_ He hiss-whispered, side-eyeing the annoying brunette.

The tapping paused momentarily and Keith let out a sigh of relief, rubbing his temple.

 

“... _the importance of maintaining a stable ecosystem…”_

 

Keith hadn’t heard a word the Professor said and it was no thanks to Lance’s drumming. _Why did I agree to sit next to him…_

 

_Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap._

 

Keith groaned, letting his head flop onto the blank note sheet,”Lance, I swear to God…”

Lance folded his arms up and bit the end of his pen,”I’m sorry, I’m _nervous._ ”

“Well then, go be nervous somewhere else, I’m trying to take _notes._ “ Keith growled, lifting his head again. He had dark lines under his eyes that no amount of coffee was going to fix. _I can’t believe I stayed up with that idiot…_ If he hadn’t remembered at the last minute they had a class bright and early the next morning, he might not have slept at all.

The pair had vacated the beach and gone back to Keith’s dorm. Much to his despair, Lance had suggested they watch a movie, leading to the inevitable LotR marathon. _I don’t think we even finished the movies…_ Pidge had woken up at some point and joined them, although Keith had been too focused to notice. _“How have you NOT seen The Lord of the Rings Trilogy?”_ He couldn’t just let Lance get away with such a heinous crime. And it certainly helped to smooth things over.

 

_“...the ice caps melting, causing excessive flooding and danger to arctic animals…”_

 

It was the Global Warming part of the speech, so Keith wasn’t too worried about missing it. But he did however, have some concerns about Lance.

“ _Dude!”_ He pulled at his hair, whipping around to glare at the boy.

Lance stopped mid-balance and the stack of pens toppled down.

“Would you pay attention!”

Lance smiled apologetically and collected the pens, setting them neatly on the edge of the table.

 _This fucking guy,_ Keith scowled internally.

 

It was about thirty minutes into the lecture and Lance had finally started to behave, leaving Keith to take notes in peace. He wrote down what he could word-for-word and what he couldn’t, he simply made bullet points.

He was in the middle of collecting his note sheets (they had piled up) when Lance elbowed him softly. Keith grunted in acknowledgement.

“So, this whole _Global Warming_ business...It’s just a theory, right?”

Keith turned to blink at him,”Uh, no? Well, I guess, but no it’s not a theory…”

Lance nodded absently and turned back to his paper, which Keith could see was all but blank.

“I swear…” Keith muttered to himself before snatching up Lance’s paper and starting to fill it up with his own notes.

“Thanks.”

 

They walked together towards the Dorms once the lecture ended, bumping shoulders as they went.

“You’re not much of a studier are you?”

“You can tell?”

“Who couldn’t tell.” Keith rolled his eyes, stuffing his hands into his pockets. His phone buzzed and he brought it out, sliding the lock screen.

 

“What is it?” Lance blinked at him curiously.

Keith glared at the text and shoved the phone back into his pocket,”Allura wants me to watch the store while her and my brother _go out._ “

“Oh, are they together?”

“Honestly?” Keith raised his hands and looked at him,”I have no fucking clue. They don’t tell me anything.”

“Well, maybe they’re still figuring things out.” Lance offered, eyes on the street.

“Maybe.”

 

Back at _Voltron_ , Keith found himself in another rather boring situation. He was splayed out on the floor, twiddling one of the g clef pins in his fingers.

“Is it always this busy?” Lance asked sarcastically, lying opposite him.

“Oh ha ha.” Keith replied monotonously.

“No, but seriously.” Lance asked, a smirk present in his voice.

“Last time you asked me to be serious, it was about a _turtle.”_

“Hey, turtles are serious business, okay?” Lance defended, his hands flying up.

“Mhm.” Keith mumbled, turning onto his side. From where he was lying he could see the Guitars and Basses Section. He glowered, face scrunching up slightly. Lance seemed to notice, but it didn’t reflect on his mood.

“What’s your favorite song?”

“My favorite song?” Keith repeated mindlessly, eyes still trained on the entrance to the Section.

“Yeah. I was googling stuff yesterday and there was this list of genres and then there were a bunch of bands. I listened to some of the songs. They were nice.”

“What genre?”

“Umm…” Lance seemed to think,”Pop? I liked that one. Sounds exciting, like it’s full of surprises.”

“Well, you’re not wrong.” Keith shrugged with one shoulder, rolling over onto his stomach,”Which songs did you listen to?”

“There was a bunch of artists with really weird names like Katy Perry and like, I think it was Tyler something.”

“Taylor Swift, you meant Taylor Swift.” Keith raised an eyebrow,”She started out more Country but she’s slowly drifted over to the Pop scene.”

“You listen to her songs?”

Keith sputtered,”Oh, God no. I know about her because she’s popular and if you haven’t noticed, _I work in a Music Store._ ”

“Oh, yeah, right.” Lance flopped over onto his stomach as well,”Oops.”

“Do you like her?”

“I mean I guess but you know who I’m _really_ a fan of? This Beyoncé person.”

“ _Pfft.”_

“What?” Lance pouted.

“Nothing, nothing. I’d be lying if I said I _didn’t_ like her.”

“Good, so shut up.”

“Fine, fine.” Keith smiled, resting his chin on his folded arms.

 

“What’s your favorite genre?” Lance proposed, curious.

“Hm, that’s actually a hard one.” Keith chewed on his lower lip, thoughtful,”I’d have to say… _Electropop._ ”

“What’s that?”

“It’s like...uh...synthesized music...with pop influence?”

“Wow, man.” Lance blinked,”I definitely picked you for a death metal kinda guy.”

“ _Why?!”_

“I mean…” Lance gestured to him vaguely,”c’mon.”

“I’m pretty sure I should be offended right now.”

“Keith, you wear _black ripped skinny jeans_ .” Lance said mockingly,”Pidge says they’re the clothing of the _emos_.”

“Okay, first of all, Pidge is filling your head with _lies_ ,” Keith flopped onto his back again,”And also, _I am not emo, it is a style. A style!”_

“An emo style…” Lance muttered.

Keith sat up quickly and pointed an accusing finger at him,”Hey!”

“Not my words, Pidge’s.”

Keith rolled his eyes and plopped back down, his line of vision once again falling on the Section entrance.

 

“Okay, but you never answered my question.” Lance scooted closer to him,” What’s your favorite song?”

“Well…” Keith rested both hands on his stomach, forcing his eyes up to the ceiling. The lights hung low, a dim brightness in the large rooms. There were long iron supports and it looked as if they needed to be dusted,”That’s a hard question. One to answer another day.”

“Oh.” Lance sounded mildly disappointed.

Keith flicked his tongue out over his lips and blinked hard and slow. For the hundredth time that day, he turned to look at the guitars.

“Hey Keith.”

“Hm.”

“Do you think you could, um…” Lance seemed to be choosing his words carefully,”maybe, play for me?”

When Keith didn’t respond, he jumped up and assumed a sitting position, hands flinging out defensively,”Not if you don’t want to, of course! I don’t wanna push your boundaries, it’s just when I walked in on you that one time, it was really good and I didn’t get to hear it all and I’ve kinda been wanting to hear you play again ever since and uh...sorry.” His voice plummeted and he leaned back a bit, as if expecting Keith to get up and attack him.

Keith tried to process Lance’s jumbled speech and finally decided to sit up. Slowly rising and tucking his legs in, he leaned back on splayed out palms.

He _could_ play for Lance. If he wanted to. He was having that same spurt of longing that he had felt back on that day. Longing for the guitar, longing to hear himself play again.

He bit his lower lip roughly, trying to calm his nerves.

“Ye...Yeah…” His voice was shallow and he swallowed. _You swore you would never touch it again..._ The voice came from the back of his mind but he pushed it away, trying to will himself, convince himself he could perform the task at hand,”I uh...yeah I could.”

“Wait, so...you will? You’ll play for me?” Lance’s eyes were wide and he inched forward,”I really don’t wanna be pushy, Keith.”

“No, no it’s okay.” He frowned, looking down at his lap. His thoughts were whirling. The last time he had really played was...for his brother. Right before he’d left, back when he was still a young man with a contagious laugh and a voice of tranquility. Back when they used to listen to old albums together, and Keith would show him the progress he was making with his songs. Shiro would listen, he would _listen_ , and even if Keith missed a chord, he always thought it was amazing. He thought _Keith_ was amazing.

After the accident, Keith hadn’t known how to react. Music was his _life_ . Shiro was the only family he had left, and he couldn’t even share that with him. He couldn’t share his _life_ with him.

He’d delved into a depression, leaving his guitar in the hidden corners of his room. He never brought it up. He never asked Shiro to be his audience. He didn’t want to remind Shiro of what he’d lost, remind Shiro of what Keith still _had_. This was the feeling that had engulfed him at that time- the feeling of selfishness.

“Yeah, um, I can play for you...if you want.” Keith didn’t even feel the words leave his mouth, still conflicted. He let out a gust of air through his nose and shifted to stand, despite his inner turmoil.

When he was on his feet again, he straightened out his shirt and pulled up his _totally not emo_ jeans slightly. He allowed himself to look at the guitars again. _Here goes...nothin…_

 

When his fingers touched the smooth surface of the display guitar, he bit back a hiss of frustration. Lance was standing not too far off behind him, watching him closely. _Just pick it up._ Keith lifted the guitar from its position on the wall and smoothly tossed the strap over his head. _You’ve got this._ He settled the guitar, positioning it comfortably. He wrapped one hand around the neck and brought his hand up to hover near the sound hole. _Now what do I play..._ His thoughts traveled through every song he knew, but one stood out. Sucking in a breath, Keith played the first chord.

 

Lance perked up as Keith started to slowly strum the strings, the awkwardness starting to melt away. He could see the tension slowly leave Keith’s shoulders, could see him starting to relax. _He wanted this...He wanted a reason to play again._

 

Keith remained facing the wall, trying to work up the courage to sing. He would always sing when he played, his voice accompanying the music nicely, creating a comfortable sound. He breathed in deeply and tried it out.

 

_“Come on skinny love just last the year.”_

 

Maybe it wasn’t his favorite song, but it was one he resonated with. And that was good enough.

 

“ _Pour a little salt we were never here_.”

 

He let his fingers take the lead.

 

“ _My my my, my my my, my-my my-my.”_

 

Lance gave Keith’s back a slightly confused look, but it wasn’t lacking in awe.

 

_“Starin’ at the sink of blood and crushed veneer.”_

 

Keith let himself sway.

 

“ _I tell my love to wreck it all.”_

 

His eyes squeezed shut and he let himself feel the music.

 

_“Cut out all the ropes and let me fall.”_

 

He hummed the next part, switching between chords sloppily, not even noticing Lance as he continued to face the wall.

 

_“Right in the moment this order’s tall…”_

 

He paused, his hand in mid-air, before continuing the song.

 

“ _I told you to be patient,_

_I told you to be fine,_

_I told you to be balanced,_

_And I told you to be kind,_

_In the morning I’ll be with you-”_

His voice cracked-

_“-but it will be a different kind,_

_‘Cause I’ll be holding all the tickets,_

_And you’ll be owning all the fines.”_

 

Keith turned to face Lance now, eyes flicking up to capture his. Lance swallowed dryly.

 

_“Come on skinny love what happened here.”_

 

Keith’s eyes showed vulnerability.

 

_“Suckle on the hope in lite brassiere.”_

 

Lance dared to step closer as he played. Keith’s fingers barely ghosted over the strings as if he had everything memorized by heart, which Lance didn’t doubt that he did. He approached Keith still.

 

“ _Sullen load is full, so slow on the split…”_

Keith smiled now, noticing Lance’s entrancement.

 

“ _I told you to be patient,_

_I told you to be fine,_

_I told you to be balanced,_

_I told you to be kind,_

_Now all your love was wasted,_

_Then who the hell was I?,_

_Now I’m breaking at the bridges,_

_And at the end of all your lines…”_

 

Keith’s hands slowed down and he strummed each string individually. His eyes burned into Lance’s own as he gained more confidence.

 

_“Who will love you?,_

_Who will fight?,_

_Who will fall... far behind?...”_

 

Lance didn’t notice that he’d gotten much _much_ closer.

 

 _“Come on skinny love…”_  Keith whispered the lyrics, losing concentration as Lance continued to inch forward. Their faces were mere centimeters away from each other. Lance held his gaze.

 

“... _woah._ ” Was all he said, eyes filled with amazement at the fluidity of Keith’s voice, at the precision of his fingers. Keith smirked almost knowingly.

 

Playing the song had definitely released something in Keith he’d been holding in for a long time. A _very_ long time. For a moment, he let the nostalgia sweep him away and a shiver went up his spine. It felt good. _It felt good._ And the way Lance was staring at him was making the feeling _so much worse._ Lance had this look in his eye, this look that sent waves of euphoria throughout his whole body. _Oh God, he looks so…_ He didn’t have a word for it but then the way Pidge had said _“ethereal”_  that one time popped back up in his head. He decided that word was pretty accurate. _Lance was fucking ethereal._

 

In that split second, he did something he probably wouldn’t have done had he not been in a state of exultation. He leaned down the extra centimeters and brushed his lips _ever so slightly_ against Lances. And Lance didn’t move away.

 

 _“Did you…”_ He didn’t know why he was asking, his lips still moving feather-like against Lance’s as he spoke,” _like the song…”_

 

Okay, rule number one. Never ever ask someone _“yo, did you like the song”_  while you’re practically serenading them in the middle of your workplace. Oh and, let’s not forget, you just basically kissed them...kinda.

 

 _Keith, what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck..._ His mind was screaming agony but his face remained the same. _Holy shit dude, what the fuck. He’s probably straight as hell, too._

 

However, a gentle snort interrupted the chaos ensuing inside Keith’s head. _Oh God, no this is not happening, what the fuck. Why did my gay ass have to go and fuck things up._

 

Lance pulled his lips away and planted them firmly on his cheek instead. He mumbled into Keith’s skin,” _Yeah, I liked the song._ ”

 

So, it was gonna happen sooner or later, but this was where Keith officially had that long over-due aneurysm. His face contorted into what could only be described as discreet horror with an overlay of baffled disbelief. He forgot the guitar for a moment, letting it fall from his hands, staring as Lance took a few steps back, smirking like _all hell_.

 

He attempted to speak, but it came out high-pitched and squeaky like an old door hinge,” _I’m like hella sorry but also like_ **_what._ ** _”_

 

“What’s wrong?” Lance feigned innocence. One perfectly sculpted eyebrow raised in confusion.

 

“ _UM?!”_ Keith was _pouting_ at this point,” **_UM?!_ ** _”_

 

Lance let the smirk fall and started looking self-conscious,eventually frowning,”I THOUGHT YOU WERE FLIRTING AND I WAS JUST DOING IT BACK, I’M REALLY SORRY.”

 

“I _WAS_ FLIRTING.” Keith screamed back.

 

“WHAT.”

 

“I WAS FLIRTING WITH YOU, _FUCKWAD_.”

 

“HOLY SHIT.”

 

“DUMBASS.”

 

“ _AAH_.”

 

They both turned away from each other. Keith crossed his arms, Lance covered his mouth. They were both red as fuck.

 

Keith calmed his nerves and sucked in a breath, turning back around,”LANCE!”

 

“WHAT!” Lance faced him again, looking kind of angry but that may have just been the blush.

 

Keith pursed his lips, stiff as a board. The guitar hung loosely around his neck and he clenched his fists. He looked at Lance like he killed a puppy directly in front of him,”I WANNA GO ON A DATE WITH YOU!”

 

“STOP YELLING AT ME.”

 

Keith let out a breath, still shaken up,”I wanna...go on a _date_ with you.” He tried again, eyes burning into Lance. He was driven on pure spite alone.

 

“Oh, well why didn’t you just say so.” Lance gave him a suggestive look.

 

 _I’m having second thoughts..._ Keith raised an eyebrow, giving Lance a _‘really, we’re really doing this’_ look.

Lance’s facade shattered when Keith remained silent and he looked distressed,”Wait, you’re serious.”

 

“ _Yes, I’m serious.” Shit_ , Keith swallowed, _He’s gonna be so weirded out. I shoulda just played it off._

 

Instead, Lance looked like one of those japanese shoujo girls. His eyes got really big and he frowned in surprised,”You... _like_ me.”

 

“Um...yeah?” Keith raised his voice in question, sort of doubting himself.

 

“Like, you’re not joking, you actually like me.” Lance gestured to himself,” _Me.”_

 

“Uh...yeah, pretty sure, man.” Keith’s embarrassment was slowly being replaced by the emotional equivalent of a deadpan.

 

“Woah.” Lance mumbled, then smiled to himself, blush faint against his cheeks,” _Sweet._ ” He slowly reached up to touch his lips.

 

 _ALSKDASLDKSDLKSN CUTE?,_ Was all Keith could process in his head as he seemed to go into system overload,” _Wait, what?_ ”

 

Lance held his hands up defensively, chuckling,”Pidge has been kinda giving me _the talk._ ”

 

Oh no, Keith grimaced. The Talk™. Pidge _giving_ The Talk™. Pidge giving The Talk™ to _Lance._ Lance being given  _The Talk™._

 

“Uh oh...what’d she say…” Keith’s lips turned up into scowl. _Has he never had the talk._

 

“She said that if I look at someone and it makes me all jittery, that I probably like them.” He offered, “And if I like them, I should do something about it.”

 

Not bad advice, Keith had to admit. Pidge hadn’t disappointed him. But on the other hand, he knew those words were part of Pidge’s evil plan. She was a fucking mastermind.

 

“And…”

 

“And…” Lance smiled softly,”I think I like you.”

 

Score one for Keith, it was definitely his day. Although the skip in his heartbeat did not go unnoticed,”You like guys?”

 

Lance blinked, eyes narrowing slightly,”Uh...is that, like, a bad thing?”

 

“Hell no, man.” Keith decided to smile instead. He moved,  remembering the guitar around him. Keith winced slightly, his mood teetering on the edge.

 

“Um, I should- I’m gonna put this back.” He said mostly to himself and started taking off the guitar.

 

The ring of the door’s bell startled them both and they turned to look at the entrance. Shiro and Allura walked in, holding hands. As soon as their eyes caught sight of the boys however, they broke apart.

 

“Keith, were you...were you playing the guitar?” Allura started walking over just as he hung it back up on the wall.

Keith stiffened and kept his eyes on the wall, not turning around. _Shiro is here._

Lance came up and clasped him on the shoulder. Keith inhaled.

 

“Ye…” He bit his lower lip and turned around, shoving his hands into his pants pockets,”Yeah. I was.” He avoided Shiro’s gaze, although he’s sure it held a positive expression. He wonders if he should be happy, but no thoughts register.

 

Allura grinned brightly,”Brilliant! Ah, Keith, you’re back!” She flung her arms around him and he stumbled back slightly.

 

 _Back?_ Was he back? He didn’t know, he’d just decided to play. He’d made the choice and for some reason, he didn’t regret it. He didn’t regret playing for Lance. And he only felt a little selfish.

 

Keith’s heart drummed in his chest once the familiar eyes of his brother were trained on him, despite his previous thoughts. They studied him for a moment, sort of like a lie detector. And as if his test results were clean, Shiro gave him a bright smile.

 

_I’m proud of you._

 

 _I’m proud of you, Keith. I’m happy for you. I’m happy for you. Chase your dreams, I’m happy for you._ Keith bit hard on the inside of his cheek to prevent his mouth from quivering. His eyebrows were hitched high on his forehead and his eyes were blurry.

 

_I’m proud of you._

 

Shiro would never hear his music.

 

_I’m proud of you._

 

Shiro would never hear him sing.

 

_I’m proud of you._

 

Sh-

 

“Takashi!” His voice sounded as if it had passed through a meat grinder. He flung himself past Allura, past Lance, right into his brother. Shiro stumbled back a few steps, surprise flushing his face as Keith wrapped his arms around his neck, tugging him down a bit. After a moment, however, Shiro’s face softened and he hugged him back.

Keith let out a strangled sound that he’d never admit to making and buried his face into Shiro’s shoulder. When was the last time he hugged his brother? When was the last time he _touched_ his brother? Keith’s eyes were beyond being welled up and gross tears were soaking through Shiro’s shirt. It didn’t seem to bother him, though, because he squeezed Keith harder.

 

After an eternity, Shiro pulled Keith away from him. The younger brother’s eyes were slightly red and his skin was wet and tearstained. He tried to wipe his eyes, tried to act like he didn’t just revert back to being six. Like he didn’t desperately crave his brother’s affection like a fish craves water. But fish don’t crave water, Keith concluded, they need it.

 

_It’s been a while since you actively sought me out._

 

Keith rubbed at his nose, staring up at him with mild embarrassment. He sniffed,”I’m sorry.”

 

Shiro beamed, eyes turning up slightly. _I missed it._

 

“I’m really sorry.” Keith was able to say through his constricting throat,”I’m _really, really_ sorry.”

 

And Keith felt a little bit more of that weight leave his shoulders, and he felt a little less selfish.

 

_I’m sorry, too._

 

Keith shook his head and pushed Shiro’s hands down,”No.” This was his apology.

 

Allura cleared her throat and stepped between them,”It’s getting late, why don’t you go home and rest?” She offered. Keith hadn’t realized how much time had passed by.

 

“Mm…” He chewed on his cheek,”Yeah, that’s ‘probly a good idea…”

Shiro’s hand on his shoulder startled him but he relaxed into the touch.

 

_I want you to play again._

 

There was a tightness in his chest but Keith only nodded. He would try. It was the least he could do.

 

When they were gone, leaving Keith to close up shop, he allowed himself to breathe.

 

“You okay?” The voice came, urging him back to reality.

Keith remembered what had occurred earlier and stopped in his routine of closing up for the evening,”Yeah...Yeah I’m good.”

 

“Keith, look at me.” Lance made him swivel and face him. He studied Keith’s face before seeming to be satisfied and offered him a smirk,”Okay.”

 

When the door was locked, Lance leaned against the brick of the outside wall.

  
“ _You promised me a date, Keef.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: For the song, the first part of it is supposed to be basically Keith's feelings about Shiro? And the second part is up for debate. *winks at Lance*


	7. Waves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In light of recent events, it took a lot out of me to complete this chapter. I hope you enjoy it none the less and I hope everyone is doing okay!!   
> (Also, I did little to no research on fish for this chapter, so have fun with that. )

“Okay, so I’ve been looking into this whole  _ date _ business,” Lance rambled on as they walked,”All the websites say you gotta be super  _ smooth _ and that roses are like, a given.” 

 

“Lance.” Keith turned to him then, his face completely blank,”Please be quiet.” 

 

“What? I’m just excited, I’ve never been on a date.” 

“Why is that?” Keith asked absent-mindedly, continuing down the street. 

“There’s a lot of answers to that question.” 

“Spare me.” Keith mumbled and turned the corner. They were heading to Altea’s. It wasn’t the “date” they were supposed to eventually go on, however, it was just their routine. 

 

Lance had become a constant in Keith’s life, as much as he’d hate to admit it. Lance was probably the closest thing to a friend he’d ever had. He didn’t like people, generally, so he had never really been good at being social. But Lance just salsa’d his way into Keith’s life and it wasn’t like he was about to kick him out. He liked Lance, after all. 

 

“The sites also said something about making sure to have  _ protection _ , whatever the hell that is…” 

“ _ Okay _ , you are officially banned from the internet.” Keith sped up his pace and opened the door to the café. 

“Keith, do people often get attacked on dates, is that why we need protection-” 

Keith whirled around and cupped a hand over his mouth,” _ You are banned forever. _ ” 

 

Keith tapped his cup rhythmically and smiled at Lance who was trying a new drink.  _ God, he’s cute.  _

 

“Okay, but what about  _ star-gazing _ . I read somewhere that star-gazing is supposed to be really nice.” 

“Lance, maybe you’re overthinking this?” Keith raised an eyebrow, taking a sip from his cup. 

“Nu-uh, I’m just trying to get a good feel, ya know.” He raised a hand, gesturing vaguely,”I mean, I don’t wanna screw it up.” 

“How would you screw it up?” Keith’s eyebrows drew together. 

“I dunno,” Lance shrugged, looking down at his cup,”I tend to screw things up.” 

“Lance,” Keith blinked,”You’re not gonna screw things up. Besides, I already planned this thing out, so chill.” 

“Wait, you did? Wha-” 

“Nu-uh,” Keith raised a finger defiantly, giving him a look,”That’s a surprise.” 

“ _ Keeeeiiitth _ .” 

“I live with a gremlin, you’re not gonna break me.” He rested his chin on an open palm, staring with eyes that screamed ‘ _ test me _ ’, “You’ll just have to wait.” 

“I hate you so much right now.” 

“No, you don’t.” 

  
  


Keith might have said he wasn’t gonna break, but in his defense? Lance had more persistence than a 5 year old on a sugar high. 

“ _ Lance, please. _ ” He groaned, banging his head against the table,”I’m  _ working. _ ” 

“ _ Please, please, please, pleaaasseee tell me. _ ” 

“No, you’re gonna have to wait, Lance. Just be patient...for like, a few more hours. Okay?” 

He let out a low whine and slid to the floor,” _ Keeeeiiitttthh _ .” 

“I’m seriously beginning to regret asking in the first place.” 

This made Lance perk up,”What?!” 

“I’m kidding, oh my God.” 

Lance pouted anyways. 

  
  


About halfway through his shift (and when Lance had disappeared to the storage room), Shiro came by. At first, Keith was hesitant. He remembered the embarrassment of the other day, the way he’d broken down. But Shiro didn’t say anything about it. 

 

**_I want you to play again._ **

 

Keith smiled at him, really smiled. Or at least, he tried to. His eyes still retained the dark circled of many nights ridden of sleep, but somehow it only added to the soft look of his face. Shiro smiled back. 

 

_ How are you doing?  _

 

Keith shrugged,”I’m doing okay.” And for once, he actually meant it. 

 

_ Good. Is Lance here?  _

 

He blinked, one eyebrow quirked,”Um, yeah. He’s in the back doing...whatever. Why?” 

 

Shiro had a glint in his eye as he grinned and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. 

_ I wanted to talk to him.  _

 

“Uh...Why.” Keith narrowed his eyes suspiciously and rested a hand on his hip.  _ Lance doesn’t even know sign... _

 

_ Just wanted to get to know him. Is that bad?  _

 

Keith was sure he wasn’t telling the full truth but he shrugged despite that feeling,”Go ahead.” He turned back to his book (his magazine had mysteriously disappeared). 

  
  
  


Lance was doing God knows what in the storage room. He was sifting through a box of old noise-makers and a few dusty old albums. What was his purpose? Not like he had a clue, but Allura had told him to “tidy” it up. He was trying his best. 

 

A tap on his shoulder made him turn. Shiro was smiling down at him, eyebrows turned up in a friendly gesture. 

 

“Oh hey, Shiro. Keith’s in the fro-” Lance was interrupted by Shiro vigorously shaking his head. As if realizing Lance was foreign to sign language, he pulled out his phone and started to type .

 

Lance squinted at the screen once Shiro held it up for him to view. 

 

**_Notes:_ **

 

_ I wanted to talk to you, not Keith.  _

 

Lance blinked up at him and set his shoulders,”Oh. Okay, what’s up?” 

 

Shiro smiled and typed again. 

 

_ I wanted to thank you.  _

 

“Um...For?” Lance looked mildly confused. 

 

_ For helping Keith pick up the guitar again.  _

 

_ Oh,  _ Lance thought. Now it made sense to him. “No, I...I didn’t do anything, there’s no reason to tha-” 

 

Shiro waved him off, preventing him from finishing, and held up the phone again. 

 

_ It was you. He hasn’t played in years, Lance.  _

 

“I know.” Lance shrugged, turning his gaze to the floor for a moment. 

 

Shiro chuffed airily and typed again. 

 

_ It makes me happy to see he’s made a friend.  _

 

Lance read the text before Shiro pulled it back again, typing some more. 

 

_ You’re really different.  _

 

This made Lance bite his cheek,”N-not really.” 

 

_ I can tell, it’s okay. You don’t have to hide it.  _

 

Lance took a step back, shoving his hands into his pockets,”What do you mean by that?” 

 

Shiro gave him an apologetic look, smiling sheepishly. 

 

_ It’s not important. While I’m here, why don’t I teach you something?   _

  
  


 

 

 

Keith was watching  _ Battlestar Galactica  _ with Pidge when his phone buzzed. 

 

**_Lance-a-lot:_ **

 

_ [4:12 PM] Kkeiiiitth _

 

_ [4:16 PM]  _ **_What, Lance._ **

 

_ [4:17 PM] tell me _

 

_ [4:17 PM]  _ **_Bye, Lance._ **

  
  


He tossed the phone lazily onto the coffee table. 

 

“Was that your boyfriend?” 

 

“Ugh, no.” Keith groaned, rolling over on the couch,”Not yet.” 

 

“Oh? Change of heart?” She perked up, stopping mid-bite with a pretzel in her hand. 

 

“I may have...scream-asked him out.” 

 

“...” 

 

“And also kissed him.” 

 

“...” 

 

“And also serenaded him.” 

 

“...” 

 

“But I serenaded him before I kissed him, so bas-” 

 

“Woah, dude, slow down.” She finally deadpanned at him, giving him the well-known Pidge  _ eyes, _ ”Holy shit you’re an  _ embarrassment _ .” 

 

“Okay, so it may not have been my most  _ suave  _ approach, but-” 

 

“When are you  _ ever  _ suave?” 

 

“Not the point.” He glared at her, turning back around on the couch,”The point is he likes me. Probably thanks to you and your evil scheme.” 

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, sorry.” She pushed her glasses up and turned back to the show.  

 

Keith raised an eyebrow, hands held in the air,” _ Riighht.  _ We’ll go with that.” 

 

“So, he accepted your terrifying proposal?” 

 

“Uh, yeah.” Keith breathed,”In a super cute way, too, like fuck.” 

 

“Awww, big bro has the  _ hots _ -” 

 

“Both of you are banned from the internet.” 

 

“Make sure to wear a-” 

 

“ _ Forever.”  _

  
  


 

 

After much pleading and multiple strokes on Keith’s end, they finally went on their date. Keith had indeed, planned it out. In full detail. 

“Okay, so you can open your eyes now.” 

Lance let out an over exaggerated gasp and removed his hands excitedly. 

 

“A...A...What is it.” 

 

“It’s a Pet Store, Lance.” Keith sighed, rubbing his temple,”Specifically fish oriented. I thought you’d like it?” 

 

“ _ Oooooo _ ,” Came the reply,” _ It’s just like on the sites…”  _

God, Lance needed help. Keith gripped him by the shoulders, ushering him towards the door,”Yeah, okay. Let’s go inside, it’s freezing out here.” 

 

The two boys were both decked out in their warmest hoodies, each with “ _ Garrison University _ ” scrawled on the front in white lettering. Keith was wearing gloves (With fingers!) and Lance had decided to let his hands freeze in their nakedness. 

 

Once inside, Keith could have melted at Lance’s expressions. 

 

“ _ Ohmygod look at all the little fishies~”  _ Lance poked at one of the glasses,”So cute.” 

 

_ You’re so cute, _ Keith couldn’t help but think. When did it get this bad? Probably when he noticed the way Lance looked at him when he played. The way he seemed so amazed by the music, so amazed by  _ Keith.  _ Or maybe, the way he’d hugged him that evening when Shiro first arrived; no judgement, no malice. Or maybe, it was the little things, like the way he would sip on his drinks or the way he’d stand when he talked. Or maybe it was none of those things. Maybe it was all of the above. He didn’t know, and in all honesty? He found that he really didn’t care. 

 

They wandered through the aisles for some time, looking at the different animals. Keith wasn’t really looking, in all actuality. He was busy with his eyes on Lance. The way he moved, the way he squinted his eyes as he looked through the glass, the way he smiled. It all made Keith feel a tightening in his chest. But Keith didn’t mind it. 

At some point, he ended up losing track of Lance. He didn’t know how it happened, but one moment Keith was staring at his back and the next he was left with thin air. Keith guessed he’d just been distracted and decided to backtrack a little. When Lance wasn’t in any of the aisles and sections they had already been through, he made the decision to check out the entire store.  _ Where’d he go?  _

 

Keith finally found him in one of the aisles deeper inside the store. The lighting was poor and everything looked dim. Lance was staring at the biggest tank, set on the very end of the hall. It contained some Big Expensive Fish™ and multiple other sea creatures. Keith didn’t know the name for most of them, they seemed to be exotic. They looked expensive. 

 

“Lance?” 

 

There wasn’t a response so Keith approached him cautiously. He came up beside him, looking at the boy with concern. 

 

Lance was staring wide-eyed at the tank, horror and pain engulfing his features. He didn’t moved his head and his gaze stayed on the tank, steady. Slowly he raised a hand to press firmly against the glass, his frown deepening and his eyes squinted. 

 

**_“They’re sad.”_ **

 

Who? Keith blinked and kept his eyes trained on Lance. They flickered towards where his hand rested, the tank. The fish? 

 

Lance pursed his lips and his hand tensed against the glass,”They’re sad. They don’t wanna be here.” He finally moved his eyes from the tank to rest on the floor. His voice lowered to barely audible,”They miss me…” 

 

Keith’s heart skipped and he gulped. 

 

“ _ That I was the Oce-  _

 

Lance took a step back, slowly turning to capture Keith’s eyes. Lance’s face was heart-breaking,”Why would people do this?” 

 

Keith was on a mission. He stormed past Lance, who turned towards him in surprised. He stormed past the tanks, the racks of stupid merchandise. He stormed past the turtles and the empty tanks up for sale. He stormed past the bags of gravel and he stormed right up to the clerk. 

 

He fished out his credit card and slammed it on the counter over-dramatically,” _ I want all your saltwater fish.”  _

 

The clerk gave him a look, like, one of  _ those  _ looks. “Excuse me, sir?” He sounded like this didn’t happen everyday, which, Keith was sure it did not. 

 

“You heard me, I want all your saltwater fish. C’mon, let’s go.” Keith blinked unsurely, but he wasn’t about to change his mind. 

 

“Um...Sir, I-” 

“Listen, Dude.” Keith lowered his gaze, hands splayed out on the counter,” _ If I don’t see you packin’ up those fish in two seconds-”  _

 

Keith’s scary retail voice must’ve done it’s job because the clerk moved away from the counter with a soft “yessir, right away.” 

 

He relaxed and rubbed his temples, trying to figure out why he was so compelled to do this. Lance had apparently caught up. 

“Keith, um, buddy…” 

Keith took in a breath. 

“You don’t have to do this for me.” 

Keith shrugged, turning around and leaning against the counter,”I want to.” He didn’t meet Lance’s gaze, however, and tried not to let his anxiousness take over. 

_ What am I doing?  _ The question was one he really had no answer for. Buying out the store on their supply of saltwater fish? Crazy first date idea, but man, if it wasn’t romantic. Keith scoffed at himself. 

 

He busied himself with looking at his shoes, the floor, the counter, his soon to be overdrawn credit card. He was a fool in love, if there ever were one. 

 

_ Love? _ No, no it wasn’t that.  _ Not...not now _ , He forced himself to think.  _ Not right now.  _

 

“Thank you.” Came Lance’s soft reply. It was genuine,  _ so so  _ genuine. It made Keith’s heart ache.  _ Ache. When was the last time someone had genuinely thanked him? When was the last time he’d heard such a soft voice? _

 

“Sir?” 

 

He didn’t realized how much time passed by, how much time he had wasted staring at his shoes, not looking at Lance. 

He straightened his posture and turned back to the clerk, who had returned to his spot at the service counter,”Yes?” 

 

“The fish are being put into carrying bags and buckets...um…” The clerk’s eyes fell down to his hand grasping the card,”Will you be paying by debit or credit?” 

 

Keith bit his cheek and slid the card forward,”Credit.” 

 

“Alright, your total will be-” 

“Don’t!” Keith stopped them,”I...I don’t wanna know.” 

“Okay, sir.” 

 

_ Am I gonna go into debt because of this.  _ Keith was sure there weren’t enough saltwater fish in the store to make him go bankrupt but when he laid eyes on the many bags and buckets, his hopes withered.  _ I’m giving up like, an entire paycheck for this. Holy shit.  _

 

Luckily, he had brought Pidge’s car. If that wasn’t their saving grace, he didn’t know what could be. 

 

There was a bucket that only the Big Expensive Fish™ occupied. A bucket for the larger fish, and multiple bags for the smaller fish. There were even some crabs and other miscellaneous sea creatures thrown into several of the containers. 

 

“Keith, um, did you have a plan for what we do now?” Lance was staring at him nervously, but also excitedly. 

 

“Yeah.” That was one thing Keith did know,”We’re going to the beach.” 

  
  


The beach was a not so long drive away from the store. They had buckets and plastic bags in the back seat of the small sedan, held in one place by seatbelts and such. Lance was fidgeting the whole time. 

 

When they arrived, the sun was already low in the sky, and they tried to carefully but swiftly get the buckets to the water. The Big Expensive Fish™ (Keith hadn't bothered to ask their species) came first, and were released carefully. They weren't huge, but would grow to be larger in the wild. 

The more medium sized fish were released after that and Keith ended up getting bit by one, making Lance laugh. While releasing the smaller of the fish, Keith fell into the water face-first. This was not going well for him. 

At one point, Lance told him to sit back, and started to untie the bags himself. He had his hoodie off, his shirt sleeves rolled up. His pants were rolled up as well. They were both pretty much covered in sand, wet in awkward places, and cold. Lance cupped a small fish in his hands and carefully lowered it into the water, as he was waist deep in the shallows. 

 

“That’s the last one.” He said, straightening his posture. He ran one wet hand through his hair, shaking the locks and sending droplets every which way. Keith was sitting splayed out on the shore, watching him. The sun was sitting on the horizon, sending light casting over Lance just right. He was  _ glowing _ . He smiled at Keith then, a full smile, brilliant and happy. It was like the sadness from earlier was completely erased and Keith found that he prefered Lance’s smile. 

 

“Lance…” Keith started, not taking his eyes of the boy. Lance perked up, still standing in the water. “Lance, about what you said...last time we were here?” 

 

Keith could almost  _ feel  _ the unease in Lance’s posture, the uncertainty as his smile faltered. But he resumed to grin despite his obvious reaction to the words. “Yeah, Keith? What-Uh, is there something wrong?” 

 

Keith didn’t answer for a long time, and Lance decided to find his way towards the shore. After a long look at the water, Keith stood up, bracing his palms on his thighs. He brushed off the sand where he could reach it, and tried not to think about where he couldn’t. He thought. He thought about every interaction he’d had with Lance leading up to this point.  _ I’m mistaken.  _

 

“I can’t believe I just...spent all that money.” Keith changed the subject, laughing into his hand. 

“I can pay you back for that, I feel really bad.” Lance was visibly relaxing again. 

“No, no.” Keith was shaking as he laughed into his hand much harder now, waving Lance off,”It was my idea in the first place. V-Very romantic.” 

“Well, it’s original, I’ll give you t-that.” Lance was catching on and laughing with Keith now, patting him on the back. 

Keith looked up to Lance then. His cheeks were flushed from laughing and his eyebrows were brought together. His laugh was light and airy, but soft in the way his voice was. Keith’s smile slowly turned into an open-mouthed stare and he gave Lance a serious look, watching as the sun’s light still gave him that glowing appeal. 

 

“What... _ are  _ you?” Keith said it before he knew what he was saying. It slipped out, his only thought in that moment. 

Lance’s eyes snapped open then, and he looked at Keith directly. His oceans were bright, the light of the sun adding a rose-gold tint,”W-what…” 

Keith swallowed, turning to face him head-on,”I want to know. Yo-...There’s something, I don’t know what it is...but.” Keith’s expression contorted into something between confusion and pain. 

 

“Here.” Lance took his hand, squeezing it,”Can I...Can I show you something?” His voice was barely a whisper, but the calm of the water allowed Keith to hear it. 

 

“Okay.” 

  
  


Lance took both of Keith’s hands, raising them slightly and backing up towards the water. 

“What are you doing?” Keith asked, eyes going wide. He didn’t like going too close to the water. 

“Sh.” Lance smirked and continued to pull him towards the surf. The water was cold, but not freezing. 

Once they were both knee-high in the water, Lance stopped them. Keith blinked, noticing how Lance kept their hands together. How he squeezed them in reassurance. 

Keith was staring at their feet, stiff and uncertain,” _ Lance _ …” His voice warranted his distress. 

“Dont, worry.” Lance’s tone was comforting,”I won’t hurt you.”  

 

The sun was almost gone at this point, but it was still light enough to gasp at Lance’s eyes when he raised them to meet Keith’s own.  _ His eyes _ , Keith mused,  _ it was always his eyes.  _

Lance headbutted Keith softly, that subtle smirk still present on his face. The wind rustled their clothes softly, the waves lapped at their legs. Keith didn’t move away. 

 

“What do  _ you _ think I am, Keith.” 

 

He knew what Lance was. He knew, ever since he first saw his eyes, he knew. Ever since he first started to wonder, he knew. 

“Tell me.” Keith could barely articulate. 

 

“You already know.” Lance breathed, almost relieved. He started to chuckled lightly, forehead still pressed against Keith’s. 

 

“You’re…” Keith squinted,”really…” 

 

“I’m the water we’re standing in right now.” Lance’s voice was strong, but lacked power,”The Ocean.” 

 

Keith’s heart skipped a beat at his suspicions being voiced. 

 

_ “That I was the Ocean,”  _

 

Keith smiled, starting to laugh. 

 

_ “What would you say?”  _

 

He cupped Lance’s cheek with one hand, forcing their faces closer together as he laughed,”Okay, Lance.” When Lance’s face fell, he smiled at the boy and squeezed his hand,

”I know.” 


	8. Forecast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I hope no one catches on that I'm running out of clever weather/water related chapter titles) HAVE I EVER TOLD YOU GUYS I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING EVER.

The next few days were filled with breezes and the scent of chai tea, and the ting of salt and the staleness of old textbooks. It was nice, Keith could say. It was pleasant. 

 

“So, Lance.” The boy started, flipping through his Geo textbook. He was laying on the sand, a long beach towel stretched under him. It wasn’t ideal, but hey, it kept the grains off his book,”Can you like...talk to fish?” 

 

“Are you seriously asking me that.” Lance deadpanned, leaning his head back. He was on his back, kicking his feet in the air,”That is like...the lamest question. It’s so generic?” 

“Sorry, I’m just curious.” 

“You could at least ask an interesting question like  _ ‘Hey Lance, does acid rain burn?’  _  or  _ ‘Ya know I was thinking, does the imbalance of salt make you queasy?’  _ “ Lance grunted, rolling onto his stomach,”Interesting questions.” 

“Wait, an imbalance of salt makes you sick?” 

“I’m  _ the Ocean. _ ” Lance reminded him,”Of course it does.” 

“Wow…” Keith bit his thumb, flipping through the pages mindlessly,”So...what about...like, evaporation?” 

“....Evaporation.” 

“Yeah.” 

Lance squinted, turning his gaze back to the sky,”It’s....like, a tickle.” 

“A tickle.” 

“Yeah, like...it feels...not bad? But, weird.” Lance sucked in a breath and let it out in a huff,”But, that’s natural. It’s been happening for thousands of years, doesn’t bug me too much.” 

They sat in silence for a long moment of time, idly watching the waves. It felt...surreal. 

“Lance,” Keith started, staring at the water in slight puzzlement,”How...How old are you?” His voice was a wisp, swept away on the wind. It cracked and crinkled at the edges and anyone could tell the question was not one of just curiosity, but of assessment, and of wariness. 

Lance didn’t answer right away, his face never changing as his eyes stayed trained on the water. The water, him. He watched as the waves rolled over each other and fell into the deepness of azul that seemed to be endless, spaceless, timeless. 

He shifted, slightly. Let his hands find better stability on the sand that gave way at the slightest touch. He let his head loll back a bit, seeming to enjoy the sun. Did the rays tickle? Is that what it felt like? The mild tingly sensation when the heat of the sun hits your skin just right? Or perhaps it was more like the sizzle of a flame too close for comfort. Or maybe it was different. 

After what seemed like a too long silence, Lance smiled subtly.

“I don’t remember.” 

 

Keith watched him then. The way he smiled, sad. Very sad, but trying not to show it. He wasn’t trying too hard, Keith could see, as his relaxed expression betrayed his smile, showing true confusion and...hurt? Did Lance  _ want  _ to remember? Or maybe it had just been that long, so long that he couldn’t quite count. Maybe there was not even a number big enough. 

 

“That’s okay.” Keith found himself saying, hoping to lead them away from the topic at hand. He set aside his textbook, brushing the cover slightly as he scooted closer to the edge of the beach towel. “But really, can you talk to fish?” 

 

This made Lance grin, despite his sudden shift in mood. He scoffed, turning to Keith with a sultry smile,”Once again, Keef. I’m  _ the Ocean. _ ” He quickly blinked and followed it up with a,”And yes, I can talk to fish.” 

 

Keith smirked,”What do they say? Is there a language? Do they have trivial issues like humans? Do they have a government system? Do they have cultures? Do they-” 

 

Lance groaned, cutting him off,”I dunno.” 

 

Keith blinked over exaggeratedly,”How can you not know,  _ Mister ‘I’m the Ocean’ _ .” 

“I mean, yeah I know. But like…” He raised a hand, lacking effort as it hung limply in the air,” _ I dunno. _ ” 

 

Keith huffed, rolling his eyes,”Lazy-ass.” 

“Hey!” Lance suddenly gained the energy of a thousand mighty warriors and flung himself into a sitting position,”I’m tired from all the work Allura has me do!” 

“It’s your fault you lay around and let yourself get caught.” 

“I don't even work there, Keith!” 

“Tell Allura that.” 

Lance sniffled dramatically,”I can’t, she’s scary.” 

Keith snorted and gave him an affectionate look,”Dork.” 

Lance seemed to gain a severe case of sunburn at lightning speed as his eyes widened,”Don’t make that face!” 

“What?” 

“Th-that face you’re making!” 

Keith raised his eyebrows and grinned,”Oh, this face?” He scooted closer to Lance who squeaked in return. 

“I’m being serious, Keith. You come one  _ inch  _ closer and I will summon Poseidon himself.” 

“Wait, he’s legit?” Keith stopped momentarily, blinking. 

“No, I was bluffing.” Lance rolled away from him. 

 

“Hey, that’s cheating!” Keith started to get up (why he had decided to wear skinny jeans to the  _ beach  _ he would never remember). 

Lance screamed and flailed clumsily, getting to his feet and running. 

“Get back here!” 

“No, you’re gonna make the face!” 

“Damn right I am, now stop running!” 

“Nooooooo!” 

And the chase began as Keith ran after Lance in a continuous loop on the sand. In Keith’s defense, Lance was wearing nothing but swim trunks and Keith was  _ decked out  _ in a grey tee shirt and his God-forbidden  _ emo skinny jeans.  _

At some point, Lance slipped and fell face first into the sand, followed shortly by Keith toppling over him.  

They both laughed, Lance on his stomach, Keith lying on top of him, splayed out. They laughed, innocent and carefree. 

Keith moved to squeeze Lance’s cheeks,”Gotchya.” 

Lance smiled up at him, not moving away. 

 

And then they were kissing, and neither knew who had leaned in first. Did it matter? No, because they were caught up in the moment and nothing,  _ nothing  _ was going to take that away from them. Keith’s hands were still on Lance’s cheeks, only they were holding his face softly now. He was bent over at an odd angle, but he didn’t care because Lance’s lips were  _ soft.  _ Lance’s eyelids had fluttered closed and he tentatively reached up to grasp at Keith’s shirt, barely brushing his fingers against the fabric. He’d never been kissed before, other than the slight brush when Keith had asked him out. But that wasn’t like now. Not like how Keith was kissing him  _ now.  _ Their teeth were clacking against each other awkwardly, and it was probably more than a little sloppy but it really  _ really  _ didn’t matter. And they really  _ really  _ didn’t care because it was still so amazing. And then Keith pulled away slightly and let his lips linger on Lance’s for more than a few seconds before he attacked his cheeks and his nose and his eyelids with pepper kisses and then finally  _ finally  _ drew back. And when Lance opened his eyes again, Keith was smirking victoriously. 

 

“What are you so smug about?” Lance narrowed his eyes, his face heating up past it’s already fever-inducing temperature. 

 

“Nothing…” Came the whimsical reply from Keith, who was smiling gently now. He rolled off of Lance, taking position beside him in the sand. And if Lance felt him reach out and grasp his hand, it was only for a moment. 

 

“I think I like you.” 

 

There were crickets and then Lance was doubled over laughing and Keith was feeling embarrassed as ever. “Y-yeah, Keith. I-I know, you’re not very subtle about it.” 

 

“I think I like you  _ a lot. _ ” 

 

And Lance was silent, but he squeezed Keith’s hand in his, listening to the waves and breathing in the smell of salt that was not too much not too little. 

 

“I like you a lot too, Keith.” 

  
  


 

 

_ Keith.  _

 

The boy blinked up at his brother, mouth turned down in a slightly depressive curve. “What’s wrong?” 

 

Shiro and Allura were standing beside each other, giving him that  _ look _ . It was about an hour or so into his shift and they had come into the store with a mixture of expressions and a sudden need for audience. 

 

“Keith, dear.” Allura bit her lip, trying to fight what looked to be a smile,”Shiro and I...we um…” She started out. 

Takashi was grinning awkwardly as she attempted to speak beside him. 

“We…” Allura tried again,”We’re sort of…” 

Keith blinked,”Sort of?” 

“Sort of...kind of…” 

There was an airy sigh and then Keith’s eyes were trained on Shiro again. 

_ We’re together.  _

 

They both stared at him, measuring for reaction. 

 

“Oh.” Keith shrugged,”Okay.” 

 

The two deflated. 

 

“Wait, what?” Allura raised an eyebrow,”Just okay, did you already know or something?” 

“Um, no offense, but you two aren’t exactly masters of disguise, like...it was pretty obvious. Even Lance noticed.” 

 

Allura scoffed slightly. 

 

“It’s true, I did notice!” Came the call from the back room. 

 

“I hear a lot of yap and not enough  _ organizing! _ ” Allura crossed her arms as she called back. 

 

“Ya know, I’ve been meaning to bring this up for a while, but you should consider giving Lance a job.” 

 

“Actually, Keith, I’m glad you brought that up.” Allura’s tone took a more serious note,”I’ve been talking to some people in very high up places and I’ve been thinking about doing...House shows?” 

“What..what do you mean? Like...live?” 

“Precisely.” The woman tucked a fallen strand of platinum hair behind one ear. 

“With...with who?” 

“Well I was hoping...with you, Keith.” She had a pleading look in her eye. 

Keith gulped, taking a step back from behind the service desk,”Oh no, no no no no.” 

“Please, Keith! Just one show and if you don’t like it-” 

“No, I’m not doing it!” 

“ _ Keith. _ ” 

“No, Allura!” Keith snapped, fists clenching,”I’m  _ not  _ doing it.” His eyes flickered towards Shiro for a split second, measuring his expression. Despite his previous assumptions, Shiro’s face remained neutral, watching him with soft analysis. Keith gritted his teeth. 

 

Allura ran her tongue over ler lower lip and popped them in exaggeration. She brought her hands to her chin, clasping them together as she weighed the situation,”Okay, Keith. You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to-” 

“I know.” Keith growled, determined. 

“ _ But _ ,” She continued, eyeing him carefully,”I would like you to consider it.” 

“Consider it  _ considered.”  _ Keith knew he was coming off abrasive and Allura really didn’t deserve to be treated like that but he was not in the mood, he was never in the mood. 

“Just think about it.” She replied softly and turned back to Shiro, giving his hand a quick squeeze before leaving to do whatever bosses did. That left the two brothers alone with each other. 

 

Keith didn’t look up, staring shamefully at the service desk counter top, not moving from where he stood. After a moment, when Shiro didn’t move, he opened his mouth. 

“I…” He raised his head, choosing not to use his words. 

 

Shiro stopped his attempt to sign by lifting a hand and shaking his head.  _ No.  _ He was smiling, but that feeling of disappointment hung thick in the air and it was making Keith choke. So he did what any reasonable man would do and he made a bee-line for the door. He wanted to breathe. 

  
  
  


 

 

Keith didn’t know how or why he ended up where he was but it was too late at that point. 

He was crouched on his knees, pulling out his old guitar case. It was dusty, old and torn up leather, had places where the fabric frayed and tore. It held memories. 

 

He hesitated, seeking out other options, but ultimately decided he had come this far and going a little farther wouldn’t hurt...much. 

Reaching over the outer edge of the case, he started to undo the clasps on each edge. It was a hard case after-all. 

After all the clasps were undone and the middle lock had been removed, Keith let his hands hover a moment, tracing the thin lines of the opening and twitching with mild anticipation. 

He sucked in a breath and gripped the case handles. 

 

Inside was the scarlet guitar, broken at the neck and thoroughly scuffed at the base. Why he had kept it all these years, he only reasoned that it was because of the sentimental value. Or perhaps one day he had hoped to play it again. 

But that dream was a fickle one because he had neither the motivation, nor the patience to fix it up again. He told himself, it just wouldn’t be the same anyways. 

 

“Hey.” The sympathetic voice of his roommate drifted towards him as she settled herself in the doorway. 

 

“Hey.” He was too tired to feign surprise, too tired for it to be real. He wasn’t surprised, after all. And even if he was, he shouldn’t be. Pidge had been there when he smashed the guitar, been there when he escalated into a combustion of anger and sadness, been there when he had bitterly set aside his dream. She was no stranger to his feelings. 

 

“You haven’t touched that thing since...ya know. Why the sudden nostalgia?” She attempted to phrase her words playfully, easing the tension that floated in the air. 

 

“I…” He didn’t really know, so he gave the next best answer,”Allura wants me to play...for a House Show.” 

 

“Oh? You mean like...live?” 

 

“That’s what I asked.” Keith snorted absently, leaning back on his palms and staring at the wreckage of his guitar held together buy the shape and frame of the case. 

 

“And I'm guessing you don’t want to do it.” Pidge stepped more into the room, pushing her glasses up idly. 

 

“That’s also what I said.” 

 

“Ah.” She settled across from him, scissoring her legs and folding her hands,”Well, you don’t have to. You should remember that. No one expects you to do anything you don’t want to do yourself.” 

 

“But that’s the thing, Pidge.” His voice drew out wearily, angrily,”They say that but I  _ know  _ they do. I know what they really want and I can  _ taste _ the disappointment and I don’t like it, Pidge. I’m sorry I can’t be what you all want me to be, but maybe I don’t wanna play guitar? Maybe I don’t wanna be a musician.” Keith rubbed his knees in frustration. 

 

“I try so fucking hard to be what everyone wants me to be and I don’t have time to think about what  _ I  _ want to be, and I don’t know what I would tell myself if I did. Would I want to write music, would I want to play guitar?” 

 

Pidge listened to his increasingly snappy rant with a gentle look, one she did not offer on the daily. When he had quieted, she adjusted her glasses,”But Keith, that’s the thing. You  _ do _ want it. Don’t you?” 

 

And Keith couldn’t deny it, and perhaps that’s why he hated Pidge. He hated her because she was always so  _ right.  _ And Keith, well Keith was not so lucky. 

 

“But, you don’t  _ understand. _ ” He tried to reason, maybe not with her, maybe with himself,”How can I allow myself to play music that my own  _ brother  _ will never get to hear. How can I allow myself to rub that in his  _ face _ . I’m tired of being selfish, Pidge. I don’t…” His voice shook and he tried again,”I don’t want to be selfish.” 

 

“You’re not selfish, Keith. “ 

 

Keith drew in a breath, shaky and uncertain,”But I’m tired of feeling like I  _ am. _ ” 

 

There was a long drawn out pause, one where Keith was sure he had said too much, but then Pidge shifted closer to him and braced a hand on his shoulder,”Keith, the fact that you’re worried about being selfish, shows just how selfless you really are. You might not recognize it, but I do. And Allura does. And Shiro definitely does. “ 

 

“Then,” Keith turned, looking her in the eyes, his own glossy from fighting back emotions,”why does it hurt  _ so much. _ ” 

 

Pidge let her hand fall lax against his shoulder before removing it completely, settling back down and giving him the  _ look _ ,”Life hurts, Keith. And if I’ve learned one thing from life, it’s that it won’t stop pushing you down until you start pushing back.” Her tone was harsh, but held surprising tenderness. 

Keith frowned, slumping. 

 

“You are selfish, Keith. In fact, you’re pretty damn selfish after all, and you know why? Because you’ve decided to give up on the one thing that you fuckin’ love Keith, and don’t you dare fuckin’ give me some bullshit because you and I both know you _love music_ _with a passion._ ” Her words bit more and more as she kept talking,”And it’d be pretty damn selfish of you to just give it all up, because I know damn well that’s not what Shiro wants.” 

 

Keith clenched and unclenched his fists, not making eye-contact with her. 

 

“You better decide whether or not this is really about you trying to be considerate of Shiro,”She moved to get up,”Or you trying to run away from your problems.” 

 

_ Fuck _ . His mind was blank. There was nothing for him to say, Pidge had laid it all out in fucking stone. He tensed, staring at the guitar, at a loss for words. He felt Pidge moving beside him, but didn’t budge. 

 

Her hand once again found rest on his shoulder,”I think it’s about time you started pushing, Keith.” Her voice was serene, as if speaking to an injured animal. And Keith figured it was almost the same thing. 

 

She started to close the door on her way out,”Please consider doing the show. I know Shiro would like it if you did.” 

  
  


 

 

There it is. 

He let out the breath he’d previously held, for fear of making Pidge explode by the mere shift in air pressure. 

_ There it fucking is.  _

His eyes hadn’t moved from the guitar case and for the first time since he opened it, he reached out to touch the lacquered base. His fingers felt how it was still smooth as the day it was gifted to him. Maybe…

 

“Yo.” 

 

Keith snapped his head towards the voice, effectively cracking every bone in his neck.  _ Ow.  _

Lance raised his eyebrows, wincing at the obvious popping noise,”Sorry.” 

“How’d you get in? Did Pidge let you in?” 

“Actually no,” Lance stepped inside the room, closing the door behind him,”I used the spare key.” 

“The one hidden…” He still didn’t remember.

“The one hidden in the weather-stripping?” 

_ So that’s where it was.  _ Keith was disappointed that Lance knew where  _ his  _ spare key was, and he himself did not even know. 

“What’s up.” Keith wasn’t fully prepared for a conversation, still sitting cross-legged on the floor in fron--

His adrenaline picked up and he reached to shut the guitar case. 

“Is that,” -Too late-”your old guitar?” 

Keith hissed, letting his hand rest on the upper cover of the case, still prepared to slam it shut. 

“Yeah.” 

“Why...Why is it broken?” 

Keith moved his hands away from the case, choosing to let them rest in his lap. 

“Because I broke it.” 

 

“Oh.” 

 

Lance settled next to him, giving him that slightly apologetic smile he often wore. He could sense the tension in the air, almost enough to take a butter knife and cut off a slab just to taste. Perhaps it would taste bitter. 

 

“You don’t have to talk about it, that’s not why I’m here.” Lance started, stuffing his hands into his jacket pockets before removing them again, this time with a piece of paper in one,”I was talking to Allura, and--well, here.” He handed the more than slightly crumpled paper to Keith, who took it begrudgingly. 

 

It was a list of instruments, people’s names, genre choices…”Lance, I’m not--” 

“Sh.” Lance held a finger up, preventing argument,”No backing out, Keith. I promised Allura you’d do this show.” 

“You  _ what _ ?” 

“WHAT’S DONE IS DONE, KEITH.” Lance remarked loudly, making an ‘x’ shape with his arms,”There’s no use for argument now, you are going to play in the show. And if you won’t do it for me,” He started to pull out his phone, decked out in a solid blue case with little wave decorations,” Then maybe you’ll do it for Shiro.” 

 

“Wh..What are you--what do you mean?” Keith eyed the phone wearily.

“Hold up.” Lance seemed to be concentrated on something on the screen, but a moment later he set his phone down and took in a breath. 

And then started to sign. 

 

And Keith couldn’t help it because Lance was  _ so so  _ bad at signing and it was  _ fuckin’ hilarious.  _

 

He pointed at himself, then made what was  _ supposed  _ to be an ‘a’ (Keith couldn’t really tell), and finally he rolled his fingers across his face before making what looked like a ‘p’ and drawing a sash in the air with the hand. 

 

“Oh my God.” Keith snorted, covering his mouth with his wrist. 

 

“Did I...did I do it, right?” 

 

“You...You…” Keith sputtered, laughing in between words,”You said ‘ _ I’m a pretty princess.’ _ ” 

 

Lance never looked so taken aback in his life,” _ What?  _ Shiro said that was--It was supposed to be something else!” 

 

Keith tried to quell his laughter, but eventually gave up. Fuck it, let him have flushed cheeks and a light feeling in his heart. He needed it. 

And Keith realized that was Shiro’s way of reaching out to him. Letting him know he still had that...that he was still Keith’s  _ brother _ , above all else. And Keith smiled, because  _ fuck _ , that’s all he ever really wanted. He just wanted his brother. 

 

Lance stalked out of the room, tapping away at the phone, mumbling about being cheated out of an opportunity. And Keith watched his back for a moment, grinning lazily. 

 

When he turned back to the guitar case, he let his hand run along the strings, snapped and springing out of place. He brushed his fingers against the splintered wood and over the side--

 

Something thin and paper-like was poking out from a corner of the case, as if it had been tucked in there. Keith stifled a sob, biting down on his forearm when he removed the object, revealing a picture. 

 

Keith, no older than 6, Shiro, around 14 years old. They were sitting in a pile of mud, holding up frogs. Keith had a wide grin on his face, his eyes were bright and there were no dark circles. Shiro’s hair was a solid color, his face absent of a scar. They were young, so so young. And Keith remembered, their mother had taken that picture. And he also clearly remembered, that he had not been the one to place it in the guitar case. 

 

Tears streamed down his face but he bit down harder on his arm, willing himself not to cry.  _ When?  _ Was all he could think, all he could process.  _ When had he put this here?  _

 

“Hey, Keith I think I-Hey, are you okay?” Lance stopped in his tracks, staring at the back of Keith’s mullet, noticing how he didn’t move when Lance entered. 

 

Keith willed the tears away, wiping his face quickly and shoving the picture into his back pocket. He stood up and took a deep breath. 

 

“We need to talk.” 

 

“Oh?” Lance’s tone was curious with a hint of anxiety. 

Keith sniffed once, retrieving the crumpled checklist,”I’ll play if Allura does too.” 

  
Lance chuckled,”Now we’re talkin’.”

 

"Hey nerds, get in here." Pidge called from the living room, catching their attention. When they both vacated Keith's room to join the smol gremlin, she was holding the remote, turning the television's volume up. 

"The weather channel?" Keith mused, looking at the screen in mild interest. 

"Yeah." She shrugged. 

"It looks like we're in for some rain." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith is a hopeless romantic and no one will ever convince me otherwise, please and thank. (I keep making him cry in like every chapter, when will I make Lance cry. )


	9. Sunken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :') This is coming to an end, only about 2 or three chapters left. Also I was trying so hard to transition this smoothly, but alas, I am not...a good writer... I hope you like it anyways. uwu

“I...Hold up, this doesn’t sound right.” Keith muttered, tuning the guitar, ”This thing is so out of tune, I can hear whales dying.” 

Lance pouted, ”Don’t joke about that.” He was sitting across from Keith, huddled in a pile of blankets. 

“Sorry, sorry.” Keith furrowed his eyebrows, lips drawn into a straight line as he concentrated on tuning the guitar. 

They were sitting in Keith’s room, practicing for the House Show. Allura had been ecstatic when Keith told her he would do it and had loaned him her own personal guitar (“ _ For luck!” _ ) to practice with. The Show was set to play the night before Shiro went back to work, not knowing when he would be granted leave again. 

The two had previously hoped to do some practicing at the beach, but the weather had a different idea. It had been raining for  _ two days  _ without letting up once. Keith thought it was strange but Lance, Lance looked scared. 

He hadn’t said anything about it, but Keith could always somehow tell with him. The way he moved, the way he would jump when wind beat against the windows. Something about the weather was setting Lance  _ way _ off kilter. Keith just didn’t know  _ what _ . 

And it’s not like he could ask, I mean he could, but he knew Lance wouldn’t answer. It was something that Lance seemed to be trying not to confront, trying to run away from, and Keith was trying desperately to figure out what it was. 

Keith’s thoughts came to a halt as a loud cough reverberated off his small bedroom walls. He set aside the guitar and leaned over to pat Lance on the back,”Are the blankets not helping? You said you were really cold...Lance, is your cough coming back?” 

“I’m fine, Keef.” Lance tried to joke but his laugh was rusty, scratchy from what seemed to be a sore throat,”Stop being a worry-wort.” 

“That’s not gonna stop me.” 

“Damn it.” Lance snorted. Despite how ill he looked, his smile never dimmed and that was something Keith really enjoyed about Lance. His optimism. 

“Is...Is it some Ocean thing?” Keith started, trying not to sound weird,”Like...with you getting sick.” 

Lance bit his lip but shrugged,”Naw, like, I’m in a human body, it’s just...like any other human cough, no reason to worry.” He quickly changed the subject, clearing his throat,”But what you  _ do  _ need to worry about, is practicing for the Show. C’mon.” 

Keith narrowed his eyes but moved to pick up the guitar again,”I still need to tune it.” 

“Then  _ tuunnne _ it. Does it really take that long?” 

“I have to make sure it’s perfect.” Keith muttered breathlessly. 

Lance rolled his eyes, leaning back against the bed frame,”Perfectionist.” 

“With music, yes.” He smiled. He found it was easy to get comfortable again with Lance cheering him on. Maybe it was because Lance had no way to be biased against him, he had only heard him play the few times after his initial vow to stop. But either way, Lance’s smile and encouraging words were something Keith would never take for granted. 

 

“I’m almost done anyways.” Keith reminded him, fixing the guitar on his lap once again and reaching up to finger the strings. 

“Good.” Lance huffed, giving him a mild pouty face. 

Keith chuckled. 

 

He didn’t think he would ever get fully used to the idea of Lance being...well...the  _ Ocean.  _ He would be lying if he said the thought wasn’t always at the back of his mind, but to have it actually voiced, out in the open, was a completely new feeling. He didn’t care though. He wasn’t wary or confused, like most would probably be. He was somewhere between amazed and amused. On the little plank in the middle, linking the two. That was where he balanced. 

And Lance, well he took in stride all of Keith’s questions (however dumb they might be). He seemed relieved to have someone to share with and Keith found that he liked that Lance could open up to him. But there was always that line. Neither would cross it, seeking out the persistence of the other and effectively shrinking away from the inevitability of the discussion. 

 

Why was he  _ here _ ? 

 

And Keith never brought it up, maybe for fear of the answer, but Lance simply didn’t seem to want to speak about it. He never mentioned his purpose for being there, although Keith had his ideas and assumptions. That was the line they both stood on the edge of, but never set foot any farther across. And it was comfortable that way, even with the tight feeling of need to voice such things twisting in both of their guts. They chose to leave those words for another time. 

 

And time, well time was something Lance seemed to have so much of, but he looked like he had experienced so little. He greeted each day with a smile and a pep in his step and a somewhat bewildered expression as if he was wondering exactly how he was still here. And that was what struck Keith as the most odd, the looks Lance would get when he thought Keith was distracted. The looks of  _ terror _ . And Keith would never ask him about it, because he felt that Lance would try to play it off anyways, but he always worried. He worried because Lance was such a bright soul that it was hard to imagine him in such a state, one that would disappear when Keith nudged his shoulder. The bright smile was always firmly in place, a constant that Keith knew they both relied on. And that was the scariest part of it all. 

 

Keith hadn’t attached a name to what they were, but he didn’t want to. He found no meaning in the terms of everyday relationship status and formal titles so he didn’t brandish them on Lance. He prefered to simply think of Lance as his  _ someone. _ And that was all that mattered because it wasn’t a title but at the same time it held so much meaning. And Keith liked it that way, and perhaps, Lance would appreciate it too. 

He found simple pleasure in being in Lance’s presence, because it was just that, simply  _ being _ . It was an escape, and one he delighted in. It wasn’t like being with Shiro, which was stressful. Or being with Allura, which was a chore. Or being with Pidge, who he loved but sometimes could become overwhelmed with. No, being with Lance was always something he would smile about, and feel the tightness of his chest slowly releasing and suddenly he didn’t feel so angry anymore and Keith thought that was a nice thing. Maybe he had such an effect on Lance too. 

 

“Haha, look, Keith, I’m a burrito.” Said boy rolled around with one of the many blankets pulled taut against his shoulders. Keith shot him a soft grin, reveling in the image of his  _ someone _ ’s playfulness. 

 

And then the rain hitting the window startled them both and Keith was brought back to his firm reality because he remembered just how fucking scared he was. He wasn’t scared because of the rain itself, he was scared because of what it would bring. And he was scared because he didn’t know what that was. 

But he noticed every time Lance’s  muscles tightened, every time his shoulder drew back and his breath caught. Noticed every time he would fidget and stare into space as if thinking about something  _ so bothersome.  _ And Keith also noticed every time it rained. 

 

Lance did not like the rain. Not now. 

 

And he thought he should bring it up, but he didn’t. And that might have most possibly been a mistake. 

 

But Lance coughed and laughed, effectively worsening the cough as he brought himself back up to a sitting position. He looked weary but tried not to show it and Keith sighed at how he breathed in quick shallow breaths, straining to keep himself together. 

 

He was  _ sick.  _ But Keith, well he tried not to acknowledge that fact. 

 

“What do you plan on playing for the Show anyways?” The raspy voice cleared before continuing,”You said you wanted to play something for Shiro.” 

 

Keith nodded wordlessly, plucking at the finely tuned strings as he rolled over the thoughts in his head,”I do have a song in mind.” 

 

“What is it?”

 

“Surprise.” Keith mumbled, smirking when Lance scoffed at his words. 

 

“I hate your surprises.” 

 

“Don’t be like that.” Keith said sternly, but with a smirk. He set the guitar aside once more and got up, stretching his arms over his head and feeling how good it was to let his tense muscles relax,”I’m getting something to drink, want some water?” 

 

“Yeah.” Lance’s voice sounded worse for wear, as if he had been holding back a gag, but it became bouncy and light again before Keith could say anything,”Could you put some salt in it?”

 

“Sure thing.” Keith had grown used to the unusual requests from Lance and took them on without batting an eyelash now. 

 

He left the comfort of his bedroom and went to the kitchen, grabbing two cups from the cupboard. He rinsed them off, shaking them over the chrome sink and set them down with a clank onto the countertop. 

 

Salt. He had bought quite an amount of sea salt (un-iodized) from the health food store recently. When Pidge asked him why, he had shrugged and excused it as a craving. She was skeptical, but hadn’t bothered him about it since then. (He hadn’t overdrawn his credit card, like his previous worries might have suggested). 

 

He cracked open two water bottles from the freezer, knowing that tap wasn’t good for Lance, and poured them into the cups along with a few ice cubes. He salted one of the cups. 

 

When he came back into the room with the water, he found Lance crouched on his knees, sifting through a box--

 

Keith set aside the water quickly and walked over, snatching the shoebox away from him,”Don’t look at these!” 

 

“Why not?” Lance blinked, giving him a hurt look. 

 

Keith didn’t have an answer, but simply narrowed his eyes, retracting the box even further from reach. He stared down at it now, the lid was off and the torn pieces of his lyrics were askew inside of it. No one,  _ no one,  _ other than he had ever read them. He didn’t know if he could even read them now. 

 

“I...I don’t show people these. They’re dumb.” He shrugged and shuffled the papers around in the box, flattening them and placing the lid back on. 

 

“I only got to read, like, one page, and it was ripped...but I think they’re pretty good.” 

 

“Trust me, they’re not.” Keith slid the box back under his bed, leaning back to rest his hands on his knees. He laughed, but it was dark and void of humor,”They’re not meant to be good.” 

 

“I think they could be.” Lance replied quietly, not letting his gaze leave Keith’s face. 

 

Keith didn’t meet his eyes. He stared at the floor, trying not to be sucked into the warmth of Lance’s form posed beside him. He didn’t feel like he deserved it. 

 

“But hey!” Lance interrupted, moving them away from the conversation at hand,”I was talking to Pidge and-”

“Something you do way too often.” 

 

“Shhhhh sh, don’t interrupt.” Lance held out one hand, effectively silencing him,”She asked me to explain the date we went on, so I did.”

“Oh no.”

“And she brought up how  _ unromantic  _ it was.” Lance sniffled dramatically. 

“Unroman-I bought you like, an entire  _ pet store??? _ ” 

“Correction,  _ half  _ of a pet store.” 

“That’s irrelevant!” 

“She said it was totally, and I quote, ‘terrible, just terrible. Unconvincing. He didn’t even kiss you.’” He crossed his arms, turning away and giving Keith the cold shoulder,”I’m hurt.” 

“We-I-We’ve, we’ve kissed?? Like?? A few times??” Keith sputtered, growing redder by the minute. 

“Irrelevant.” Lance mocked,”You never kissed me on the date.” 

“”W-well, I’ll kiss you right now if it’ll shut you up!” 

“Do it!” 

 

Keith stared at him, frowning deeply for a moment while Lance gave him a challenging glare. 

 

And he did. He leaned in and grabbed Lance roughly by the front of his shirt and kissed him. Keith internally rolled his eyes when he felt Lance’s smirk against his lips, his breath coming out in short bursts as he chuckled. 

But Keith didn’t let up, he instead loosened his grip on Lance’s shirt, letting his hands wander up his neck, finding their place in his hair. He pressed his mouth harder against Lance’s and they both breathed through their noses, unwilling to break away. 

 

“Umph-!” Oops, Keith had accidentally tipped them over, but Lance didn’t seem to be complaining, despite his previous grunt and instead pulled Keith closer. They tangled their legs together, wanting to be closer, each craving the other’s heat. 

 

But air was a necessity, and the two eventually parted, resting their foreheads together and sucking in oxygen. 

 

“How’s that for romantic?” Keith muttered, running his tongue over his bottom lip. 

Lance gained a skeptical look,”Hmm...could use some work…” 

“Hey!” Keith scowled, pulling back a bit. 

“Kidding, kidding!” Lance laughed, eyes closing before he let them open again, half-lidded. 

 

Keith smiled.  _ It was always his eyes.  _ And it certainly was, they were so indescribable, so transcendent. Keith found solace in their depths, they were welcoming. He remembered asking himself when and how exactly he had fallen for the boy with carnelian skin. And he knew the answer. 

 

_ The first time I saw his eyes.  _

 

“Earth to Keef, what’re you so focused on?” Lance snorted, still gazing back up at him. 

 

“Nothing important.” Keith shrugged, choosing to plop right down on Lance’s chest rather than to roll away. Lance brought his hands up and around Keith’s back, letting them find their way to his hair. Keith closed his eyes. He was so unbelievably touch-starved that plain things like hugging made him shiver. Lance had allowed him the room to becoming comfortable with intimacy again, and although he was still miles away from where he wanted to be- he was closer. And Lance was patient. And, Keith mused, Lance was soft. He liked it. 

 

Lance let his own eyes fall shut now,”I miss the breeze…” 

 

“Mm.” Keith mumbled, burying his face into Lance’s chest, feeling his heartbeat against his cheek.  _ A heart.  _ What a complex organ. Did Lance understand the complexities of a mere human heart? Keith wondered many things. 

 

“It feels...so far away now…” Lance continued. 

“How far?” Keith didn’t open his eyes, instead focusing on how Lance’s chest buzzed when he spoke, and how it expanded when he breathed.

 

“Far...too far.” Lance affirmed. His voice had taken on a sullen note, wavering but still keeping a firmness,”I miss the cold...and the sand…” 

Keith frowned then, letting his eyes open only a bit,”Lance…” 

“I miss all of it.” The boy ended his sentence, abruptly, and seeming to not notice Keith’s oncoming frustration. 

Keith moved to get up, leaning away from Lance and giving him an albeit confused, if not angry, look,”Do you-”He cut himself off, urging his facial features to relax, appear less menacing,”Do you wanna go back?” His voice was scathing but only to hide the uncertainty he truly felt. 

Did Lance want to go back? He’d never considered that option before, it had never really ran through his head before. But now he was here, staring down at Lance, who seemed taken aback, if not a little guilty, and he was wondering how he could have allowed himself to be so fucking dumb. 

“Go...back?” 

Keith gulped, pursing his lips and letting his eyes flicker away, staring instead at the bed,”Do you want to...go back to wherever you even came from, go back to being the Ocean, cease being human or whatever?” Keith shrugged, not certain how to word it. 

Lance let out a breath and braced his hands against the floor, lifting himself to a sitting position,”Th-I...That’s a hard question to answer, Keith.” 

Said mullet-haired boy sucked in air, furrowing his eyebrows,”I...I dunno, I mean,” He looked down at his hands, moving to cross his legs and tuck them under him, a comfort thing.  _ I guess I’d have to bring it up sooner or later _ . “Wha-what are you...doing here, exactly?” He tried to word the question in a non-aggressive manner, but he realized he’d failed miserably as Lance took on a defensive and guarded expression. 

“I-” And Lance’s resolve crumbled and he had his face buried in his hands and Keith, well Keith had no fucking clue what he did or how to handle it. 

_ Oh my god, what..wh- _ Keith’s eyes widened as he stared at the silent form of Lance, head obscured from view, shoulders shaking. He didn’t make a sound. 

“I don’t know, Keith.” Lance’s voice was broken, and Keith’s heart dropped into an abyss at the way it felt, cutting through him like a razorblade. And Keith realized, for as much as he’d cried in front of Lance, Lance had not once cried in front of  _ Keith _ . 

“I did this because...I wanted to make people listen.” Lance lifted his head then, trying to keep his composure from completely falling apart. 

 

Keith remembered their conversation all those weeks ago now. He bit his lip, telling himself to internally fuck off over and over and over because he had royally screwed up. 

  
  


"I thought that maybe if I became like them...I could change them." Lance's eyes were wide but they began to narrow and close, tears spilling over. His face, previously contorted with pain, now showed a sad smile,"I really thought that I could make them listen, Keith..."

 

_ ”I said I’m listening. And...that’s a start, ya know?”  _

  
  


Keith opened his mouth, as if to try and reach out to him. 

 

“It never worked out when I tried to help, as the Ocean.” Lance rambled on,”I couldn’t do much. And humans, they didn’t help. They’re always dumping stuff in me, this weird slick black stuff...I learned to associate it with death, and that’s all that comes to mind now when I think about it.” Lance wrapped his arms around his torso, shivering,”It made me violently ill, and I wouldn’t be able to function properly. I lost so much, I still am.” 

 

“They fish...endlessly. They take and take but rarely do they ever give back.” Lance looked like he was grasping at something he couldn’t quite hold down,”They’re greedy…” 

 

His expression changed to one of anger and spite,”So I wanted to get revenge. I started making storms and...and sinking ships. I wanted nothing to do with humans, they’re disgusting…” His tone was dark,”I…” He looked up and Keith was staring at him with his own eyes blown wide, hurt written across his face, tears silently slipping down his cheeks. 

 

Lance caught his tongue,”Kei-”

 

“You…” Keith’s voice trembled, and he moved away from Lance,”You  _ sunk _ ships.” 

“Keith?” Lance reached out to him, but the boy slapped his hand away with a hiss. 

“You  _ sunk ships?! _ ” Keith snarled,”What kind of ships were they, Lance?” 

Lance looked slightly abashed before recognition lit up his face,”Keith, no, no-” 

“Did they happen to be  _ Navy ships _ ?!” 

“Keith, no, I’m sorry, please, no-” Lance reached out again, trying to calm him down but Keith moved to stand, stumbling slightly and backing away from him. 

“ _ I’m an idiot. _ ” Keith shot down at him,”What’d you do, come here to finish the job?” 

“ _ Keith!”  _ Lance glared up at him,” _ I didn’t- _ ” 

“My parents died in an  _ accident _ .” Keith stumbled back still, colliding with his bookshelf,”Pidge’s dad died in an-an  _ accident. _ ” He reached out behind him, clawing at the shelves and causing books to fall from their place,” _ Shiro…”  _

“Keith…” Lance’s voice was weak but he offered no excuse, and that was the breaking point for Keith.

“Get out.” 

Lance’s breath caught in his throat,”No, listen-” 

“ _ Get the FUCK out!”  _ Keith reached down and grabbed a book, throwing it in Lance’s general direction but he was too angry and his vision was too blurred to aim properly. And although he didn’t want to admit it, he wasn’t aiming for Lance anyways. 

 

And Lance got the message because he gave Keith a withering look before turning and slamming the door behind him. 

Keith slumped against the bookshelf, tears still coming and anger...no he wasn’t angry. He was  _ confused  _ and he was  _ sad.  _

Keith drug his fingers down his face and let out a strangled sound before falling onto his back and bringing his arms up to shield his eyes. 

 

And he thought. 

 

And the more he thought, the more he realized he had yet again, royally screwed up. 

 

After a long, long time, he finally moved to sit up again, wiping his eyes and clutching at his sleeves. He’d worn himself out. Where that outburst had come from, he had no idea but all he was feeling at the moment was stone cold regret and he doubted he would be able to get out of this mess so easily. So he leaned back and let his gaze wander around the room- the ceiling, the bed, the guitar tossed lazily to the side, the shoebox still visible underneath his blankets. 

 

Groaning, Keith reached over to pull it out from under the bed and opened it. 

 

Lance was such a fucking liar. 

 

On about half of the papers were little notes, and some sloppy doodles. It looked like they had been extremely rushed but they made Keith’s heart do the  _ ba-dum  _ thing anyways. 

 

_ these lyrics are sweeet, love them.  _

_ wo-ah dude, i’d write a screenplay based off this!!! >:o  _

 

_ yikes, this one sounds a little emo but NI CE  _

 

A doodle of a rad-looking electric guitar and the words,  _ see you at the grammys >:3c  _

 

Keith snorted and then covered his eyes and frowned. He pushed the shoebox away and rolled over, taking out his phone and letting his thumb hover over the contacts button. 

 

Finally he made up his mind and started a call. 

 

It rang, more than a few times, before whoever was on the other end answered and Keith cleared his throat, willing away the roughness in his voice. 

  
“Allura?” He bit his lip, staring at the ceiling before casually turning to look at the guitar case tucked neatly under his bed,”Yeah, um...I think I fucked up…” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :3 Ya done fucked up, Keithy-boy.


	10. Evaporate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, so I wrote this while having an /extreme/ case of writer's block, but I was taking too long to write it and just decided to get it done. So it's probably,,,not the best? Anyways there's only one more chapter!! Thanks to everyone who stuck with me! :3

“Sit down.” Allura gestured towards the chair she had pulled out for Keith. 

 

The two were inside Altea’s, having decided to meet up there. Allura, sensing Keith’s distress on the phone, had proposed they meet up and now they were both seating themselves at a window-side table. Coran happily walked over once he had spotted them. 

 

“Uncle!” She stood, a bright smile plastered on her face. 

 

“My girl!” Coran reached his arms around her, giving the woman a tight squeeze,”It’s been a while.” 

“I’m sorry Uncle, I’ve been busy with the store.” 

 

“...” Keith glanced at the chai teas on the menu (curse his lactose intolerant ass, but he was brooding) and shot glances between them. Yeah he  _ knew  _ they were family, he just wasn’t used to seeing them in the same setting. 

 

“Ah, my dear, what can I do for you today?” Coran set one hand on his hip (of course they were related) and pinched his mustache. 

 

Allura clasped her hands together and batted her eyelashes,”We’ll both have tea, thanks.” 

“Chai.” Keith grunted.

Allura frowned,”Keith, you’re lactose intolerant.” 

“Don’t worry, I took my pills.” It wasn’t a lie, he had taken his pills. He just wished he  _ hadn’t _ in that moment of time. He’d be better off with a stomach ache than the ache in his heart. 

She smiled again and nodded,”Make Keith’s chai.” 

“Right away!” 

 

It was a crisp morning. The events of the other night still hung fresh in Keith’s mind. Why had he snapped? What had prompted him? He was frustrated with himself because there were so many thoughts in his heads, so many emotions, that even he couldn’t detangle them all. He was confused. Keith knew, at least, that he had been in the wrong. Seeking out a scapegoat, something to make him feel a little less at  _ fault _ , Keith had taken his anger out on the one person that probably deserved it the least. The words fell bitter on his tongue however, and he grimaced in silence. 

 

They settled down once again and Allura decided to ask the question hanging in the air.   
“What did you do, Keith?” 

He gulped, tracing the table with one finger, pushing away the menu. 

 

“I…” He didn’t know  _ what  _ he did, he just knew it was uncalled for. “I may have...been less than pleasant.” 

“I get that, Keith. That’s not what I’m asking though. What did you  _ do _ ?” 

Keith shot her a glare before sighing,”I.” 

“You…?” 

“I said some things...I probably shouldn’t have. I dunno, okay?”

“Okay, Keith.” Allura drug one hand down her face, flopping back in her seat,”But you realize you screwed up?”

“Yes.” 

“And you want to fix it?”

“Definitely.” 

 

“That’s a start.” Her smirk returned and she once again straightened in her seat,”I may have a few ideas...But I’ll need your permission?” 

“Anything.” He breathed out. 

  
  
  
  
  


Lance had his knees pulled up, his feet barely skirting the water. Sand found it’s way between his toes and into the back of his knees and onto his lap. He didn’t care. 

 

_ “Did they happen to be Navy ships?!”  _

 

Lance buried his head deeper into his arms, shivering slightly, moreover at his guilt than anything else. He tried to clear his thoughts, focus on nothing but the water. Nothing but that part of him. 

 

Waves. Turning over and over, roiling from the depths and becoming bright, sizzling stormclouds of water that were brought back down with the force of a God. Salt that tinged the air, stinging his nose and making breathing all the less pleasant, but still feeling so good. Sand. Endless piles of sand that peaked in some places but at others, swept away into pools of water and scattered rock. Life. There was also life. 

 

And death. 

 

Lance could  _ sense  _ it,  _ smell  _ it. It hung thick in the air, taunting him with the mere presence and the knowledge he had no way of ridding himself of it. 

Death from humans. 

_ Death brought by humans.  _

And what a fool he was, because he’d become affiliated with one. 

 

But this thought only made Lance feel worse about everything. He’d hadn’t had a chance to explain, and Keith was now with an idea of him that he had no means to rectify. And it left him empty and hollow, just as much as any land-fill dump might. He hated it. He hated himself. 

 

But he did not hate Keith. And maybe that was where things went wrong, because he was too soft on humans. They were such intricate creatures, capable of conquering an Ocean but still so easily shattered. 

No, he was not conquered. Just, attacked. 

And he hated himself for that too. 

 

He’d given up on retaliating long ago, but if he tried to think, there was no definite year he could place. 

Boats, he hated them. Ships, yachts, submarines, all of them. Every single piece of metal that floated about his waters, he despised them. But he knew that he could do nothing of it. 

 

At some point, he’d become enthralled with the idea of making peace. Perhaps it was a dream at best, but he’d still started to delve into the idea that it could happen. That maybe, he could make amends with the race. 

But humans were not so easily swayed, and he spent many years studying them as a peer, as one of them, only to find that they cared not even for themselves. They were as vile as he’d experienced, in their social groups, in their ‘families’, in their governments. How could he hope to reason with a people that couldn’t even reason with itself? Lance came to realize that humans were built on social constructs and man-made laws that not only threw decency out the window, but also established a violent way of life. He didn’t like it, but he understood. He comprehended it, but he found that, it was almost incomprehensible. 

 

But then he’d met Keith. On a whim. A bright soul, energized but somehow...hesitant. He could always tell about a person, Lance prided himself on this one fact. He could always feel how they were, how they would be. And Keith- he was an enigma. 

The boy had such a sense of  _ self  _ about him, but it withered from time to time, revealing an insecurity that no one seemed to notice. He had a heart of  _ gold _ , he was devoted and passionate and Lance had decided then and there that he  _ liked  _ this human. And after a long while, he thought that maybe Keith liked him too. 

 

But that was shot in the dust, because now Keith most definitely hated him. 

He kicked at the sand, sending a few shells flying. He was angry at himself. For allowing himself get so close to the thing he hated. For allowing himself to learn to  _ appreciate _ the thing he despised. 

But he didn’t hate them. And maybe, that’s what made him the most angry. 

  
  
  
  


“Okay, Allura...um...are you sure about this?” Keith asked hesitantly. He fidgeted aimlessly with his fingers, running them through his hair, over his jacket, stuffing them in his pockets. Nothing quelled his nerves. 

 

“As sure as I’m going to be.” Allura sounded slightly agitated but her voice was soft and she gave Keith a reassuring smile,”It’ll be okay.” 

 

Keith nodded, more to himself than to her,”It’ll be okay.” He crouched, balancing on the soles of his feet and started to detangle the mess of wires before him. There were amps and guitar stands and mic stands and drumsticks thrown everywhere (why were there so many drumsticks?) and Keith was about to throw a fit. He’d agreed to do whatever Allura asked of him, but he was still a nervous wreck. This was stupid, this whole idea was stupid. 

“Keith! A little help.” Her voice came again, sounding further away. 

 

He sighed and set down the half-ass untangled wires, rising to stand and locate where the woman had gone. He spotted her in the far corner of the store’s mainroom, attempting to carry two bass amps simultaneously. Her strength made him gulp. 

 

“Here.” He wandered over to her, lifting one in his hands and relieving her of the extra weight. 

 

“Thanks.” She breathed and they trekked across the room to where they, along with a few select employees, were setting up their “stage”. 

 

It was that day. Keith was nervous and very much on edge. He hadn’t heard from Lance, not once. He checked his phone every few minutes, making sure his volume was all the way up, but there were no texts. 

He set the amp near the wall on the far end and started to plug wires into it. The whole store was unorganized as different instruments were pulled out of storage and everyone rushed about trying to set things up before opening. Keith breathed out. Allura had taken the liberty of  _ promoting _ , or so she called it, the event and Keith was scared that more than his comfortable share of people would show up. He wasn’t really one for an audience and the very thought made his skin crawl. 

 

“I think we’re just about set…” Allura trailed off, marking everything down off of a checklist, tapping the pen against her chin,”I think we’re ready.” 

 

Keith gulped, wiping his sweaty palms on the back of his jeans and standing up,”Okay.” 

  
  
  


Lance shrugged his jacket on, the cold finally getting to him as the sun sank lower in the sky. He didn’t want to leave, but it was his only choice at the moment. Clouds were beginning to form, dark and grey, bringing with them the fear of harsher things to come. Lance shrank away, unsure of where to go, there was nowhere to hide from the sky. 

 

Today was the day, he thought. All of that practicing, all of the jokes and the playful shoves and the...the kisses. He pressed his lips into a firm line, his thumb drifting up to trace lines over his lower lip. It was such a  _ human  _ thing, kissing, romance. He’d never thought much about it, so enthralled with the dark side of humanity. Lance had never bothered to think about the good. 

And Keith. Keith was  _ good _ . And Lance wasn’t going to just let go, just like  _ that _ . There wasn’t enough  _ time  _ to just let go. 

 

Lance knew his time was up. He’d known for a very long while. He’d been counting down the days and now, faced with the sudden reality of exactly what it meant, he was scared. Had he not met Keith, he wouldn’t have been quite as terrified. Sure, he’d be disappointed, for having failed in his mission. But suddenly, he had a reason to be here, a reason to stay with the humans who fought each other for land and dumped slick black oil inside of him. He had a reason to care. 

 

But it was over, and Lance was beginning to accept that. He would go see Keith tonight, see him for possibly the last time in the flesh. And he would enjoy it while it lasted. 

 

He zipped up the jacket and made his way up the beach, away from the waves, away from the gathering stormclouds. 

  
  


Keith was a bundle of nerves as he saw people gathering for the event. The doors had opened not thirty minutes ago and there was already a fairly large crowd.

 

“Wow.” He muttered, letting out a huff of air,”Um, Allura. What’d you do, rent a billboard?”

“No.” She scoffed, looping a guitar strap over her shoulder,”I have my ways.”

“I’m sure.” Keith rolled his eyes, turning his head towards his work. He’d set up most of the amps and mic stands, after all. Even the drumset was his handiwork. 

“Keith…” The voice sounded behind him, seeming to reach out tentatively. He turned to face Allura and let his eyes flicker from her careful smile to the guitar in her hands. 

 

It was red, glossed over with fine lacquer and with a scarlet neck. 

 

“Allura.” Keith didn’t know what to say, lifting his hands but making no attempt to take the instrument into them,”Wh…”

 

“It was my idea, I thought-” Allura bit her lip, her eyes grazing over the guitar,”I got it fixed up for you. I thought it would help you feel a little more comfortable.”

 

Keith didn’t say anything, just stared, an internal battle with his emotions ensuing. 

 

“You always did prefer red.” Allura commented after the silence stretched out far too long. Keith finally relaxed his taunt shoulders and chuckled, a smile gracing his features. 

 

“Yeah.” He let his fingers brush the very edges of the guitar,”I guess I did.” 

  
  
  


“Good evening everyone!” Allura’s voice was proud and vibrated loudly off the store’s walls. Keith stood slightly behind her, hand resting on his guitar, lips pressed into a firm line. He busied his other hand, gripping the sides of his jeans and pulling the fabric taunt against his legs. He was made only of nerves. 

 

“How are we tonight?” Allura asked and the crowd erupted into a mess of scattered “good”s and “‘aight”s. Allura smiled, her hair cascading in platinum locks down her back and over her shoulders. She let one hand rest on the neck of her guitar (an electric) and shift it so the weight was distributed evenly. She pulled away from the mic slightly. 

 

Keith was scanning the crowd urgently. He tried to pick out individuals in the crowd, but it was hard with the lighting so dim and the people so close together. But then his eyes caught a flash of white--

 

Shiro was here. Standing near the back by the door, which was propped open. He was leaning against the frame, arms crossed over his chest, a pleased look on his face. Keith’s nerves only worsened. Shiro was here, Shiro was here. 

 

Of course he was here. Keith scoffed at himself and steadied his hands on the guitar, averting his eyes. Why wouldn’t he be? One hand left the neck of the guitar and lowered to his back pocket, shuffling out a thick paper that was shoved there. He brought it out, stared at it. The picture he’d found in his guitar case. 

Keith slowly lifted his eyes again and focused on Shiro, whose own eyes had never strayed from Keith. He didn’t smile, but gripped the picture firmly in his hand and moved to stuff it back inside the back pocket. He would be okay. 

 

There was another item shoved in the pocket, a folded piece of paper. On it contained the lyrics and chords of his favorite song. Lance had asked him about it, after all. And he had planned on telling him. He still planned on telling him. He just didn’t know when. He didn’t know if at all. 

 

“Let’s go!” Allura yelled into the mic excitedly. She had been talking about their store (they were hosting this event for a reason, after all) and attempting to encourage the crowd to look around afterwards. Allura, bosslady of a large and profitable business. For some reason, Keith still received what he considered terrible pay. 

 

And then he snapped out of his thoughts because Allura was looking at him, telling him:  _ It’s time. Now.  _ And he cursed under his breath, finding the cords quickly (he’d memorized their set list a few days beforehand) and striking the first one, hearing how the sound reverberated through his fingertips and left him shivering. He played. 

 

It was slow at first and Keith was left with a numb feeling, disconnected, removed from the sounds and the hands making them. He felt good. It  _ did  _ feel good. His fingers went over the strings fluidly and he smiled to himself because he liked it. 

 

And Shiro was smiling too. And suddenly everything was okay because he was playing and Shiro was happy and he wasn’t  _ scared _ . 

 

The time came, eventually, for the song he had picked out especially for Shiro. He’d thought about it a lot, rolling it over and over in his mind. Lance had inquired repeatedly as to what he would be playing for the show, but Keith kept that to himself. Until now, that is. 

 

He took the lead, as Allura began to step away from the front of the “stage”. Keith was nervous. So nervous. If he had been sweating earlier, he was drenched now. All eyes were on him as he grasped the mic in his hands and let his gaze wander over the crowd. They landed on his brother, looking up at him with a curious expression. He could do this. 

 

The song, Keith mused, was soft. A favorite of his. Mellow and smooth and just right for the feelings he wanted to convey. Keith strummed the guitar. He was the only musician. He was owning the floor and all attention was on him. 

 

And he leaned forward and cleared his throat.  

 

_ Loving can hurt _

 

The image of playing in the mud as a child, laughing with a young Shiro. It was vivid in Keith’s mind. 

 

_ Loving can hurt sometimes.  _

 

_ But it’s the only thing that I know.  _

 

His mind drifted towards when he turned thirteen and Shiro taught him how to do his first riff on the guitar. 

 

_ When it gets hard. _

 

Once, when he was eight, he’d broken his arm. Shiro had smiled at him, reassured him that it would heal, and be even stronger. Those words had been his only comfort at the time. 

 

_ You know it can get hard sometimes.  _

 

_ It is the only thing that makes us feel alive  _

  
  
  
  
  


_ We keep this love in a photograph  _

 

_ We made these memories for ourselves _

 

_ Where our eyes are never closing _

 

_ Hearts are never broken _

 

_ And time’s forever frozen still  _

  
  


Keith remembered when he was nine. He’d found a baby bird and started crying because it had no chance of surviving without it’s mother. Shiro had helped him take care of it, and although it had eventually died, they’d buried it, together, in the backyard. Shiro had smiled at him. “ _ Life is a fragile thing, Keith. It’s important to remember that. But it’s also important to live it.”  _

 

_ Holding me closer ‘til our eyes meet _

 

_ You won’t ever be alone  _

 

Keith remembered the day Shiro first left for the Navy. 

 

_ Wait for me to come home  _

  
  


_ Loving can heal  _

 

_ Loving can mend your soul  _

 

He remembered the day they received the news that their parents had died in the “accident”. He remembered the look on Shiro’s face, stricken with horror, but how it had softened when he turned to Keith. How he had been so  _ strong _ . How he’d cried later in his room when he thought Keith was asleep. He remembered all of it. 

 

_ I swear it will get easier  _

 

He remembered the funeral. It had felt so foreign and Keith remembered feeling very out of place. Military personnel, salutes, the national anthem. Amazing Grace. Keith remembered there hadn’t been any bodies to bury. Keith remembered Shiro being approached by those of the Military who had shown up. Keith remembered the strained look on his brother’s face. 

 

_ Hm, we keep this love in this photograph  _

 

_ We made these memories for ourselves _

 

_ Where our eyes are never closing _

 

_ Hearts are never broken  _

 

_ And time’s forever frozen still  _

  
  


Keith suddenly realized his cheeks were wet, he hadn’t noticed before. But he didn’t pay attention to it now because Shiro was looking at him with this expression, this knowing expression. A kind smile. Slightly squinted eyes. He moved his hands--

_ I love you too.  _

 

_ And if you hurt me  _

 

_ Well, that’s okay baby, only words bleed _

 

_ Inside these pages you just hold me  _

 

_ And I won’t ever let you go  _

 

Keith’s voice cracked a bit as he struggled to keep his composure, missing a chord. He quickly recovered but kept his eyes trained on Shiro, smiling back. 

 

_ Wait for me to come home  _

 

_ Wait for me to come home  _

 

_ Wait for me to come home  _

 

And then Keith suddenly realized there was someone standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame near Shiro, also smiling at him. 

 

_ Wait for me to come home  _

 

Keith’s heart palpitated. 

 

Keith sucked in air, stilling his hands against the strings. Lance was here.  _ Lance was here.  _ Allura had assured Keith he’d come, and apparently she had been right. 

 

He had his hoodie pulled over his head, drawstrings tightened all the way. He looked weary, more so than usual. More so than the last time Keith saw him a meager two days ago. Keith grimaced. Lance was--

 

_ When I’m away _

 

_ I will remember how you kissed me _

 

_ Under the lamppost back on sixth street _

 

_ Hearing you whisper through the phone  _

 

Keith had suddenly locked eyes with him. 

 

_ Wait for me to come home  _

 

He was ushered away from the front of the stage, Allura taking the lead again and prodding at the crowd, making sure they weren’t getting bored. Keith swallowed thickly, turning towards Lance again, maybe to search his expression, maybe--

 

But he was staring off somewhere else now, eyebrows drawn together, distant. He hunched his shoulders under the hoodie, shot a withering glance back in Keith’s general direction and started walking out. 

 

_ No, what, no. Lance... _ Keith’s gaze went from Allura, to Shiro, to the now abandon doorframe.  _ Lance…  _ Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong. 

 

Keith gulped, looking around blankly before shrugging the guitar over his head. Allura gave him a look from the side, questioning, slightly irritated. It said “what do you think you’re doing?” but Keith didn’t shrink away, setting the guitar on it’s stand. He shot Allura a glance, one he hoped would tell her how much he needed to leave,  _ right now _ . She blinked at him, then nodded subtly. Her smile remained plastered on her face as she once again turned to the somewhat chatty crowd, hoping they wouldn’t notice the lead guitarist for the night was leaving the stage discreetly behind her. 

 

Keith drug on his jacket and started to waft through the crowd, towards the door. When he reached it, he turned towards Shiro. Opening his mouth to speak, to say something, but Keith just pursed his lips again and blinked at Shiro. Hoping that his silent  _ looks  _ were enough. That they would all understand what he couldn’t put into words. 

 

Shiro smiled.  _ Go.  _

So he went. 

 

Keith couldn’t see him out on the street but that wasn’t a problem. He knew exactly where Lance had gone and so he hopped in Pidge’s car, thankful she always let him use it, and started to drive towards the beach. 

 

He couldn’t have arrived soon enough, and grimaced when he noticed the sun sinking lower and lower in the sky, the sunset usually such a welcome sight, but for once it only filled him with dread. There was something wrong. There was something wrong. 

_ There was something wrong.  _

And Keith knew it had nothing to do with that  _ stupid,  _ childish fight they’d had. Keith knew this was something that had been bothering Lance for a long time. He swallowed and slammed the car door shut. 

 

Keith saw Lance’s form almost immediately, sitting at the edge of the water with his knees drawn up close to his chest and his chin resting on his forearms. He wanted to call out, but his tongue felt stiff in his mouth. It was raining.  _ It was raining.  _ He’d only just noticed it and he laughed, abruptly and choking out a feral sob between it.  _ God, he was cold.  _

 

The laugh must’ve startled Lance, because he lifted his head, turning to look at Keith. Rain, or tears, streamed down his cheeks and he gaped at Keith, disheveled and looking forlorn. 

 

Keith was overwhelmed in that moment. He looked absolutely  _ ill.  _ His skin was paling, his eyes lost some of their luster. He wasn’t smiling. Keith’s resolve broke and he frowned at Lance, full on glared at him, eyes squinting against the rain and the pain he was feeling in his heart. 

 

“Lance…” His voice was shaky,”Lance are you  _ sick _ ?” 

He’d asked that question so many times, it seemed so normal to say. But it wasn’t like those other times now. Now, Keith was staring at him with  _ fear _ . “Are you-” He couldn’t finish the sentence. He refused to say the word.  _ Dying _ . He opened his mouth but it fell like a heavy weight against his tongue and he found that he couldn’t speak at all. 

 

Lance searched his face, bringing the corners of his mouth up into a shy smile,”I haven’t been totally truthful with you, Keith…” 

 

“Yeah, I know that.” Keith sneered, fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. He was angry, but not really at Lance. He was angry at the rain, and the way Lance coughed, at himself.  _ He was angry at himself.  _

 

Lance didn’t seem phased by his snarky reply however, and started to stand up slowly. It looked like it pained him a bit, as if he’d been sitting there for a while,”There’s no time for fighting anymore. There’s no time for anything.” 

“I didn’t come here to fight.” Keith snarled, although his anger was diminishing at great speed,”I came here to…” Keith gave him a soft look,”Lance, why didn’t you tell me?” 

 

“Because I didn’t want to acknowledge it myself.” His eyes were downcast, distant, but they still held a bit of sad humor to them,”Thank you though. You were really...good to me.” 

 

“Shut up.” Keith snapped again, this time with more power. Lance snorted,”I deserve that.” 

“You deserve a lot more.” Keith’s eyes were watering and his voice wavered only a bit. 

“I guess so.” Lance said blandly. 

Keith pursed his lips, shivering. 

“I’m going to be okay, though,. I think.” Lance raised his eyes, they were shiny with unshed droplets”I just can’t stay.” 

Keith’s eyelids drooped as his energy began to deplete. 

  
  
  
  


Lance laughed, wiping the tears away with the palm of his hand,”I want to tell you so much, Keith. About everything.” He gave up on wiping the stream, no  _ avalanche _ , of tears and started to sob openly,”You asked me about the fish? If I talk to them? I do, Keith, and they have such  _ intricate _ languages and their cultures are so vast that it would leave the entire human _ race _ in awe. And they do have trivial issues, and they do have a stupid  _ flimsy  _ government system, and they have  _ stupid flimsy _ arguments and they fight with each other just like anyone else and they have personalities, Keith, they have such _ vivid personalities _ . And they sometimes do things that are morally questionable, but who hasn’t? But Keith, they-I just...I want to tell you so much...and I can’t…” He broke, clutching his arms, digging his nails in deep enough to leave marks,”I’m afraid that if I stop talking, I’ll never get to again.” 

 

Keith stared, wide eyed, numb from crying,”Then don’t stop talking...never stop talking, okay?” He reached out and gripped the sides of Lance’s face, bringing him closer,” _ Don’t ever fucking shut up, okay?! _ ” 

 

Lance choked, he sobbed ugly and distraught, clutching at Keith’s shirt. The rain was soaking them both to the core,” _ The whales…”  _ Lance sniffled, barely audible through his hiccuping,”They’re like what you would call kings, they’re magnificent and rule over the open ocean…” 

Keith let his hands wander to Lance’s hair, bringing their foreheads together harshly, squeezing his eyes shut, only focusing on Lance’s voice. 

“...and the sharks, they sometimes don’t get along with the dolphins, but it’s not their fault, ya know? They just…” 

And if Keith felt Lance drifting away, he didn’t mention it because he wouldn’t dare interrupt Lance now. 

“...and...and…” Lance’s voice was hoarse, shaky,”Keith... _ Keith,  _ I have to stop talking now…” 

“No!” 

“ _ Keith! _ ” 

“ _ No, you can’t! I want to hear you forever, I don’t want to ever suffer in silence again, it’s been too long, Lance.”  _

“I...Keith, you know I can’t…” 

“I-I...I…” Keith’s throat was threatening to close,”I don’t want to let go.” He was pleading now, not even trying to hide the squeak in his voice,”I don’t want to let go, I don’t want to…” 

“I know, Keith…” He choked out,” _ I’m sorry.”  _

 

The sound of waves hitting the cliffs resonated with the booming of their hearts and suddenly the rain wasn’t so cold and wet anymore. 

 

“Keith.” 

 

Said boy let his eyes open, blinking away the rain. Or tears? He didn’t know. 

“You never...you never told me, what your favorite song was.” 

 

Keith blinked, staring wordlessly at Lance whose forehead was pressed against his still, hair sopping wet and dripping. 

 

And he laughed. He fucking laughed because honestly?  _ Fuck it _ . Lance was salvaging that moment by being  _ Lance  _ and that made it hurt all the more but he laughed, pulling away a bit, tightening his fingers in Lance’s hair. He laughed, sobbing in between chuckles, a pained look on his face, not truly happy but happy all the same. 

 

And he smiled, so fucking big and filled with every emotion he’d tried to hide for the past 20-somethin’ years and he didn’t know if it was the rain or what, but his eyes were probably more than a little blurry. 

 

“Who cares, Lance.” He snorted, letting out a jovial huff,” _ Who cares! _ ” He reached into his pocket and brought out the shredded piece of paper with ink that was starting to bleed and crumbled it in his fist. “It doesn’t matter.” He smiled,”It never did.” 

 

Lance looked horrified for a moment, staring at Keith’s fist with shock before sighing, letting his shoulders droop, letting that weary look take over as raindrops slid down his skin, resting on the overhang of his nose, chin, eyelids. He smiled back at Keith and reached for his hand, squeezing it. 

 

He loosened Keith’s fingers and let the crumbled, sopping wet, bleeding paper drop away and be carried by the wind,”I guess it doesn’t.” 

 

“It doesn’t.” Keith confirmed, eyes blinking with frustration against his rush of fatigue,”Besides, I have a new favorite song.” 

“That is?” Lance’s voice was no longer concealing the raspiness, no longer hiding how sick he really was. 

 

“That’s a surprise.” 

 

Lance gave him a long look, sadness reaching his eyes for more than the first time that day,”Keith…” 

 

“No.” 

 

“You know,” Lance’s frown deepened,”You know I hate your surprises.” 

 

“I know,” Keith’s smile widened, but his eyes were glassy, the humor not reaching them,”And you’re going to especially hate this one.” 

 

He moved closer again, placing his hands delicately over Lance’s eyes, moving them over his skin until they rested on either side of his face, thumbs brushing his cheekbones. He made sure Lance’s eyes were closed before leaning in and resting his forehead once more against the other’s. 

 

“Keith-”

 

“Yes?” Keith’s voice was soft, notably gentler than it’d ever been. 

 

“Please tell me…” 

 

“Okay.” He finally gave in, fingers still brushing Lance’s cheeks,”On one condition...okay?” 

 

“Okay.” 

“You can’t open your eyes.” Keith breathed out, shakily, hastily,”Promise me you won’t open your eyes.” 

There was a pause, one that seemed to stretch on forever, before the distinct, if more than a little worrisome, reply came,”Okay, Keith. I promise.” 

“...Okay.” Keith moved his face from resting against Lance’s, tilting so his lips hovered next to the boys ear. He hesitated momentarily, weighing his options. 

 

_ “The sound of the Ocean.” _

 

Lance didn’t open his eyes, as promised. Keith opened his, if only to glance to the side for an instant, before closing them again, lifting his head and pressing a smothering kiss to Lance’s lips.

“Kei-” 

“K-keep them closed.” Keith’s voice was desperate, cutting both of them off with another kiss, smushing Lance’s face in his hands, letting them fall away to blaze wildfires down Lance’s neck. 

Lance obliged, reaching out to grasp Keith by the waist, one hand coming up to support his lower back as they stumbled towards the water. 

 

Lance pulled his lips away briefly, and Keith could feel his smirk,” _ Thanks...Keef _ .” Keith shut him up with another kiss, pulling him closer, refusing to let go. 

 

He didn’t know how long they stayed like that, but at one point, Keith realized he wasn’t kissing Lance anymore. 

 

He let his hands slowly lower from the air and finally,  _ finally _ , he opened his eyes. 

 

That image of the sea against a foggy sunset sky would be ingrained into his mind forever. He choked, stumbling back. It was so familiar. Too familiar. He  _ hated  _ it. 

And he let himself revel in that hatred and he screamed, falling to his knees, clutching clumps of sand and throwing them aimlessly at the water. The wind picked up and he coughed, blinking away the sand from his eyes and wiping his face. He shivered. It was cold, and it was getting dark. He dropped his head in the sand, eyes closed, forehead shoved into the ground. He let his shoulders slump, let his hands unclench. He cried. 

  
  
  


There was a reason he had made Lance keep his eyes closed. Because if he saw those eyes again, he knew he wouldn’t be able to let go. And Keith, well he decided that just this once? 

  
He wouldn’t be selfish. 


	11. Sea salt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAHHH THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO STUCK WITH ME, THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER!!! (Please don't hate me for it ;^;)

“Keith.” 

 

There was a weightlessness about him. He felt like he was floating. Weightless.  _ Weightless.  _ It felt oddly comforting and he smiled at the thought. His fingers rolled over his face in an arc, resting on his forehead as he shut his eyes.  _ Weightless.  _

 

“Keith…” 

 

He let his hands reach out beside him, bury themselves in the sand. The sun was bright. So  _ bright. So bright.  _ He hated it. He wanted the rain. He yearned for the rain.  _ Why was it so bright? Had it always been so, so bright? _ He hated it, he hated it. 

 

“ _ Keith. _ ” 

 

The sound of the waves rolling over each other was his only comfort. It held him together, filled in all the nooks and crannies and drowned out the sound of the shattering, broken pieces of his heart. He couldn’t hear it. He couldn’t hear it and that meant it wasn’t real.  _ He couldn’t hear it. It wasn’t real. It wasn’t real.  _

 

A slap. “Keith!” 

His thoughts were abruptly pulled to a halt and he frowned. He’d been enjoying himself. He was forced to remember. He was forced to  _ think.  _

  
  


_ “I’m sorry Keith, but he just moved towns. You still have his number? Give him a call.” _ The voice was sweet. Unknowing. 

 

He’d called. Several times. He’d called Lance’s phone. Not that he thought for even a moment that it would pick up, but he called. If only to hear the sound of him as it went to voicemail. He’d called. Once. Twice. 

By the end of that first day he’d called Lance’s phone a total of 37 times, and none of those brought any comfort. He’d told them Lance moved away. He’d told them that there was something that came up, and he had to leave. He’d laughed, eyes scrunched up at the corners, mouth upturned into a carefree smile. He’d tucked his hands behind his back and dug his fingers into his wrist. He told them, “Haha, it’s alright though.” 

 

He’d told them,”I’m not upset.” 

 

He stared at the sun now. Bright.  _ Too bright, too bright.  _ And he thought of Lance. And the thought made him want to cry, but he didn’t. He wouldn’t cry. There was already enough saltwater in the ocean, Lance didn’t need the addition of his tears. 

 

But he thought, still. There had been something. There had been  _ something.  _ Keith had felt something. No, it wasn’t love, he resigned. 

 

It wasn’t love,  _ but it could have been.  _

_ It could have been.  _

 

If they had only had  _ time.  _

 

“Keith, you’re starting to scare me. You’ve been coming here everyday and you won’t leave.” Allura gave him that look, worried. Oh, how she worried. It prompted a chuckle from the depths of his throat and he leaned forward, propping himself up on the sand. He would be worried too, he guessed. 

 

“I like it here.” His smile was sad, so so sad. Sad and empty. 

 

“Keith...I...But you hate the Ocean?” She asked warily. She made no move to approach him, but instead tucked her hands under her armpits in a stance of comfort. 

 

“No.” He shook his head, pulling his knees up to his chest. 

 

No he didn’t. How long had it been? It felt like a matter of weeks, but perhaps it’d been months.  _ Months.  _ Oh, how the time passed. He finally understood a bit of how Lance felt, never knowing the touch of years. 

 

_ Lance.  _

 

No, he didn’t hate the Ocean. Not anymore. Not since he’d met what a wonderful, eccentric, beautiful person the Ocean was. Not since he’d known the touch of the Ocean’s lips against his own. Not since he’d heard the Ocean’s laugh, heard the Ocean’s voice. Not since he’d seen the captivating waves of the Ocean’s eyes. No, he didn’t hate the Ocean. 

And the Ocean, in turn, was reverent of him. 

 

Perhaps if there was a time when he would have thrown himself into the water, he knew it would be pointless. He knew Lance would not allow it. He’d probably find himself washed up somewhere, untouched, unharmed. He was immune to the murky waters. Because perhaps, they loved him. 

 

Keith knew now, that he loved the Ocean. Because there had been time. Time where he had thought, and thought, and thought. Time where he had tuned his guitars, polished his strings, and rewritten his songs. Time where he had taken an offer with a recording company. Time where he volunteered for environmental campaigns. 

 

He’d switched his major, too. 

 

“ _ Keith, why all of a sudden? Are you sure about this?”  _

 

Oh, he’d never been more sure of anything in his life, why did they ask? Yes, he wanted to study Marine Biology, was that so hard to understand? 

 

Was it so hard to want to  _ protect something _ ? Something that was brilliant, and sentient, and was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen? 

 

He was probably crazy, to most people. He never mentioned it though, in the little ways he talked about the water. The gentle way he smiled at the fish in pet stores. The way he’d bought his own aquarium, if only to feel a bit closer to the distant waters. 

 

They had had such a short time. And that hurt Keith. He wanted more, he wanted to know more, and hear more, and  _ feel  _ more. It had ended too suddenly. Ripped away and tossed aside before anything had the time to take place. It had been quick, and ruthless, and  _ fun.  _ Keith didn’t know the last time he’d smiled so much. He didn’t know the last time he’d looked at his brother and felt his eyes crinkle at the corners, and his heart didn’t feel heavy. 

 

He had himself back again, but at what cost? 

Because he’d lost the one thing that had brought him there. 

 

“I’m going to go wait in the car…” Allura murmured. 

 

Ah, yes. He’d forgotten. Shiro and Allura were engaged now. He remembered how happy they’d been. How he himself had hugged them both, expressing how happy  _ he  _ was. 

And Shiro, Shiro had told him something that made his heart leap in his throat. 

 

_ The store is making a lot of money now, Keith. And with your recording offer...and everything.  _ He’d smiled so bright, as if a thousand years rolled off of him in that moment.  _ The Navy is letting me go. _

 

He had his brother back,  _ he had his brother back.  _ And he would see him whenever he wanted, and he would laugh with him and hug him and he would have his brother back. 

 

_ But at what fucking cost?  _

 

Keith dug his feet into the sand, splaying his hands out, taking the sand between his fingers. 

 

“Hey,” He started, looking at his knees,”I’m gonna finish what you started...okay?” He spoke with a waver, but he didn’t cry. He was done crying. He  _ wouldn’t  _ cry. 

 

“I’m trying my best.” He offered, leaning forward and tucking his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. He rested his chin atop his legs,”I’m going to keep trying.” 

 

There was silence, but somehow Keith didn’t mind it too much. Out here- where he could smell the salt, taste the water, feel the sun-warmed sand- this was where he found comfort. This was where he was most at home. 

 

“I got a recording offer, ya know that?” Keith smiled when he received the water lapping at his toes as an answer,”I think I’m gonna take it...I can do a lot more. I can make my voice heard. Literally.” He chuckled, taking his lower lip between his teeth. He fluttered his eyelashes against the wind. 

 

“Shiro’s doing good. We both are.” Keith ran his tongue out over his lips, trying to think of more to say. Anything that would keep him there longer,”Everything’s goo-od.” His voice cracked and he bit hard on his lower lip,”I-I’m...I’m good.” 

 

His calm demeanor faded quickly and he kicked his legs out, leaning back and thrashing against the sand,”Why won’t you answer me!?” His voice was hoarse, his nostrils flared. 

 

Keith tried to even out his breathing as he stood up, eyeing the water. He watched as the waves turned over and over and over, the same as they always have. 

 

The same as they always will. 

 

He ground his teeth together and leaned down, searching the sand for something, anything. He found a rock, gripping it between his fingers, and raised his body. 

 

“You’re such an asshole!” He chucked the rock at the water, but it splashed weakly against the shoreline. Keith huffed, screwing up his nose. He clenched his fists and took a few steps closer, kicking at the water. 

 

“I hate you…” He murmured, but there was no power behind the words. Finally, defeated, he slumped down again. 

 

“I miss you.” He let himself admit, digging his feet into the sand again. 

 

“I miss you and I wish you were here…” He crossed his arms across his knees again,”It’s not the same.” 

 

A grimace threatened the corners of his mouth and he squinted,”I guess I should go.” 

 

Keith stood up, dusting off his pants. He emptied out his shoes, sliding them on after his socks. He threw on his jacket, the same one with the Garrison logo on the front. The same one he’d worn to their date. 

His heart was heavy as he turned back to the water, searching,  _ waiting  _ for anything. A sign, a message,  _ something.  _ He was met with only the occasional wave and rolling clouds overhead. 

“I’m learning.” He decided to add,”About you. About what you are. About what you mean.” He let a smile sneak onto his face, but it was gone as quickly as it came,”I’m trying.”  _ I’m trying.  _

 

“I’m going to help.” His frown deepened as he remembered something. 

 

_ “I’m going to make them listen.”  _

 

The waves rolled in reply and Keith clenched his fists. “See ya.” He started to turn, walking back towards where Allura and Shiro had parked. They would greet him with warm smiles, but he knew they worried about him. 

He set one foot in front of the other, watching his feet as he walked. The breeze sent a shiver down his spine. It was a comfort he had discovered recently, one that helped him feel a little less alone. 

He walked and he breathed, and he held back the spike of hurt that washed over him. It was times like this, when he was forced alone with his thoughts, that it really weighed on him. That everything really went from black and white to every color in the universe, tangled together in splash of cool grey. It was times like this that he wished most for the sound of Lance’s laughter. 

 

He didn’t know when he’d stopped, but he had. He dared to look back at the water again, one more time.  _ One more time.  _ Like he always did. But nothing ever changed.  _ Nothing ever changes.  _ He let out a long overdue sigh and lowered his eyes to the sand, his hopes crushed for the millionth time. 

He hoped though, every single time. He hoped. He waited for that one day when he would receive his answer, when he would hear that laugh again, and feel that soft skin again, and see those  _ eyes _ again. He waited and waited and waited. And he would continue to wait. 

He felt a cool spray against his neck, and dark spots were beginning to line the sand where he stood. Keith blinked.  

 

He lifted his head then, to the sky. He smiled, snorted and took in a breath, reaching out with one hand cupped. “Thanks, Lance.”

  
It was raining. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a really nice project to do and although I could have done better, in my opinion, I think I did alright! I appreciate all the feedback I've gotten, it really makes my day! Thank you all! I'll be continuing to work on more stories.

**Author's Note:**

>  
> 
> [Lovely Art!](http://beckology.tumblr.com/post/154374549508/criss-alis-chiherah-doodles-thanks)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Softly to the Sea](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9389762) by [DriftingFarandWide](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DriftingFarandWide/pseuds/DriftingFarandWide)




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